Sturmhouse Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Anybody ever gotten this line? Typically one used for breaking off an engagement. I understand why she said it, but the reasons she feel this way are correctable. Anyone ever gotten back together after hearing this line? I know most people who get back together don't come back to this board, but, let me hear some experiences! Link to comment
Davie Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Surely if that was the case she wouldn't have accepted engagement before? Just a thought... perhaps something changed in the relationship over time? Possibly?? xx Link to comment
george237 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Surely if that was the case she wouldn't have accepted engagement before? Just a thought... perhaps something changed in the relationship over time? Possibly?? xx Not necessarily, some girls get engaged just to get engaged. They get caught up with the whole "all eyes on me thing". Example would be post mortem depression, mother gets depressed after having the baby because everyone cares about baby and not mom. Same thing with a newly engaged woman, lets plan weddings, show everyone the ring, have an engagement party and then all of a sudden nobody cares. Link to comment
Davie Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Not necessarily, some girls get engaged just to get engaged. They get caught up with the whole "all eyes on me thing". Example would be post mortem depression, mother gets depressed after having the baby because everyone cares about baby and not mom. Same thing with a newly engaged woman, lets plan weddings, show everyone the ring, have an engagement party and then all of a sudden nobody cares. ahh touchet, touchet. It must vary woman to woman. Link to comment
george237 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 ahh touchet, touchet. It must vary woman to woman. Well your point was definitely the most probable cause. A lot of times we get used to the other person and take them for granted. We can fall into ruts where we aren't as romantic, passionate etc. Link to comment
wurth_skidder Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I could be wrong, but isn't "I can't see myself with you" a euphemism for "I see myself with the guy I'm with now, and he's not you." Link to comment
Sturmhouse Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 Well your point was definitely the most probable cause. A lot of times we get used to the other person and take them for granted. We can fall into ruts where we aren't as romantic, passionate etc. This is what happened to me. As for the comment above, that can be the case but isn't in mine. Link to comment
george237 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Well this is something you will learn with relationships. It happened to my ex and I, we bacame more friends then lovers. I would wait a month then ask her out for some coffee and a stroll in the park. Make sure you don't come on too strong when you meet her (not talking about the relationship or getting back together) just talk about life and friends. Link to comment
Sturmhouse Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 I plan to do just that. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Isn't this a variation on the "I love you but I am not in love with you" line? You can't make anyone come back that doesn't want to. Your besst bet is to improve yourself for you and possibly your next relationship. That way you will be better prepaired to be a great bf. lost Link to comment
Sturmhouse Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 It pretty much is the same line, yeah. What we have is salvageable, and the core fundamentals of our relationship are great. We are so compatible, like-minded, and agreeable to each other. We both have our flaws, but we have many more strengths which complement each other. We get along great, have (had) a very healthy and fulfilling sex life, are great friends, work well together, and enjoy each other's company. She is very, very upset about the prospect of never hearing from me again. I think, she just feels between a rock and a hard place because she believes the traits she wants to see in me are impossible given my personality. I disagree. She's reluctant to "change" me because she has this unreasonable expectation that "the one" need not be changed, and will be perfect. Sadly, she will never find this person. Read any book on relationships - people change, relationships change, circumstances change, you have to adapt and shift gears. You can feel in love with someone, but at a certain stage you decide to love someone whether the feeling is there or not (temporary as it may be). I have already made this decision in regards to her. She's frustrated, I think, because she isn't seeing the changes she expected (but never communicated she needed) and so thereforee the relationship will never last. Well, also in a certain relationship book I'm reading the author says breakups are great motivators for changing someone. The fear of loss often motivates those to make positive, lasting and necessary changes to their relationship habits. Well, here I am - working on myself and trying to fix some of those problems...Just give me the chance to show you! Link to comment
HopeArises Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Feelings are dynamic. They change. They grow strong. They grow weak. You can fall in love and fall out of love and fall back in love, BUT, you can't force this process. All you have control over is being the best YOU, YOU can be and constantly improving yourself and maybe your ex will take notice. It's all based on ATTRACTION. If there was once attraction there, it can be again. Link to comment
Sturmhouse Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 I agree...I'm just trying to get the deck ready for when we talk about things (err, I hope we get that far) so that we can have a real meaningful discussion about our issues. Link to comment
HopeArises Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I agree...I'm just trying to get the deck ready for when we talk about things (err, I hope we get that far) so that we can have a real meaningful discussion about our issues. Just an FYI, Careful how you bring them up though Sturmy. Also, be aware of HER comfort level and DON'T push, even when you feel the urge to. Know when to end the topic if it becomes too much for her to handle at that moment. Link to comment
Sturmhouse Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 For sure...It's going to be an incredible test of my own self control. I am a VERY straightforward, honest and "go getter" type person - it will be a miracle of self restraint if I can pull this off. Link to comment
SighSob Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Feelings are dynamic. They change. They grow strong. They grow weak. You can fall in love and fall out of love and fall back in love, BUT, you can't force this process. All you have control over is being the best YOU, YOU can be and constantly improving yourself and maybe your ex will take notice. It's all based on ATTRACTION. If there was once attraction there, it can be again. I second that. All you can do is work on yourself, and hope she notices. Watch out just in case she gave you those random lines to hide something worse. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.