Still miss my ex after a year of no contact

January 3rd marked an exact year since I last saw or had any contact with my ex-boyfriend. We were in a long distance relationship and a few months after I had moved away he wanted to end it, which destroyed me, and then I found out he was actually leaving me for someone else. We dated for less than a year, but my heart really is sure he's "the one" and I can't seem to convince myself otherwise.

I've tried dating other guys...but I'm not really interested in them. Instead, even a year later of absolutely no contact, I still think about my ex and miss him terribly even though he put me through so much (btw, he was by no means abusive or mean in any regards, I'm simply meaning the emotional circumstances of the breakup) He had said he desperately wanted to be friends still (remember that line? yeah) but as expected he has never followed through with even so much as a call to see how I am.

They say that once you break off contact then you can start to heal. While I'm definitely not crying anymore about it (well...rarely) I still don't feel better or whole yet like I did before our relationship. I'm usually a confident person in myself and I don't understand why I'm so hung up over him.

Could anyone possibly give some insight?

how many ppl have you seen since. not like sexually but as in intrests, friends, etc. just do you go meet ppl a lot?

several; I've moved to a new place and made a bunch of new friends. I don't get out as often as I would like but I have dated a bit and made some new friends, kept in contact with old friends, etc.

what is it you like about this ex and do you think others hold qualities that are like that? Do you think you are looking in good places? i personally have an issue with where i tend to look for new ppl in my life however its not always bad just i look in not so logical places sometimes. are you doing that? more questions for yourself but feel free to respond.

It's been a year since I last saw or spoke to my ex too. Though I'm in a new relationship now, but there was not a single day when I didn't think of my ex the past year. Not much, just in passing, out of curiosity maybe.

No contact does help you heal. It made me think of him less and less each passing day. He is no longer part of my life, yet I still think of him, of course I will, he was my first love, it is harder to get over.

You should not just date for the sake of dating, regardless of what people say: Go out and date! Enjoy your family, enjoy your friends, enjoy meeting new people and see if there is any guy you would like to get to know better, and eventually date.

xCOREx: I found him very attractive because we were both similar and I felt I could be completely comfortable around him. You may be right in "not looking in the right places"

LilBear: I see your point on not dating for the sake of dating. I have to say, I think I just kept doing it because it seemed to be the thing to do.

Essentially, do you guys think that maybe I need more activity in my life to keep my mind off him? Like I said, I hang out with friends and family but when I AM alone or when I have downtime thats when I really miss him.

Essentially, do you guys think that maybe I need more activity in my life to keep my mind off him? Like I said, I hang out with friends and family but when I AM alone or when I have downtime thats when I really miss him.

Take up a new interest or revive an old one. I thought of him most when I was alone too. I quickly realized that and surrounded myself with family and friends. And I plunged myself into work and school so I was always kept busy. And I did things that he didn't like me doing, like shopping. Nothing like retail therapy.

It just takes some longer than others. 9 months for me, and still not healed. Like yours, mine was a good man, but he left for someone else. Also a LDR.

 

No more LDR's! *HUGS*

thank you...I'm glad to know I'm not abnormal in it taking so long to get over him! I agree...no more LDR's! ugh.

xCOREx: I found him very attractive because we were both similar and I felt I could be completely comfortable around him. You may be right in "not looking in the right places"

 

LilBear: I see your point on not dating for the sake of dating. I have to say, I think I just kept doing it because it seemed to be the thing to do.

 

Essentially, do you guys think that maybe I need more activity in my life to keep my mind off him? Like I said, I hang out with friends and family but when I AM alone or when I have downtime thats when I really miss him.

activity in the brain imo. really do things get into them so much that you think more of the future and what you can do with these activities etc. idk hope it helps. like go epic with something you like to do. totally what i do. go big you got nothing to lose and the world to gain style.

Then I will check into that. You know, it seems so obvious, but I think my problem is lack of motivation to take up a new hobby or do something big with something I already enjoy and so it never really crossed my mind. I guess there really isn't a better motivation than not feeling like crap anymore

I'm really glad I posted. I was scared to talk about it anymore with friends because I felt like I'd already talked their ears off about the situation...not that wouldn't try to help...but I'm glad to get some fresh point of views on it. Thank you guys!

im glad you are happy! psh dont be scared. talking friends ears off is a beautiful thing. im sure they dig it.

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In Greek mythology, Persephone (Kore or Cora) ...

i didnt know what the name was about so i wiki'd it. thats just fkn creepy. O.o lol

I think that when you meet someone who makes such a profound impression on you, it takes a long time before you are able to meet someone who makes an even greater one, and takes just as long before you are over him/her.

A similar thing happened after an ex of mine and I broke up. I still thought about him and missed him for almost two years before I met someone who finally made me stop thinking about him. A girl friend of mine thought that meant I missed just being in a relationship, but it wasn't that, I just never met anyone who I liked better than my ex.

If there's no hope of reconciliation, sometimes you just have to endure.

I miss and think about an ex everyday until I fall in love again. Sometimes it takes 6 months and sometimes 3+ years to fall in love again. Right now I'm in the midst of the 3+ years. I often wonder which is more psychotic... getting over someone you love quickly while not having to find someone else or taking years finding another. It's an interesting argument. I think the bottom line is there is no "normal" when it comes to this. Just keep the faith that someone else will come along and make you forget.

So Time, Patience, and a New Hobby...I'm feeling a bit better already

It's said that things happen when you least expect it...so maybe if I take my mind of it as best as I can then someone else I can love just as much will come along.

im glad you are happy! psh dont be scared. talking friends ears off is a beautiful thing. im sure they dig it.

 

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In Greek mythology, Persephone (Kore or Cora) ...

 

i didnt know what the name was about so i wiki'd it. thats just fkn creepy. O.o lol

lol! that is creepy. I've just always identified with Persephone from the mythology for some reason. She's always fascinated me.

On topic: thank you again for your help

I'm sorry to hear it's a year later and you are still feeling so much heartache. I just began not contact with my ex, so here's to hoping that by next year this time, both you and I will be well on our way to being over our exes.