way in over my head!! HELP

sorry readers, but this is going to be a pretty lengthy post. I could really use a voice of reason right now, so if your up for it here it goes:

Ok. Im in a relationship right now that I know I should end, but don't have the strength to cut. I first met my boyfriend about 2 months after talking on facebook with the strict intention of being only friends. He isn't normally the type of guy i'd go for. We went out a couple of times as friends, and from the beginning I tried to establish the boundries and make it perfectly clear that we were friends. But ever since the beginning he has been blurring the line btw friendship and something more. Its not what I wanted, but to be honest my last and only relationship ended badly 4 years ago and i wanted to feel what it was like to be in love again. I thought it would be harmless to let him blurr the lines a little and one thing lead to another and before i knew it we were in a "relationship." He saw us as one thing and in my head we were something completley different. But he had fallen for me hard and i just couldn't hurt him. I've been in a situation where i'd GROWN to really love a person before and figured that i should stay in it and see where it goes. Maybe I could have a growing affection for this person as well.

He really really likes me, infact he loves me. It shows in a lot of the things he does. And there are times that I look at him and know that I like him too. But I don't think I love him. Love is not a word I take lightly at all. For him to say he loves me really scares me. I don't see how he could love me after only 2 months. He says i make him laugh and he believes me to be a good person. He enjoys being around me, is physically attracted to me, and likes my personality. But i've tried to warn him im no good for him. I know i'll end up hurting him. It scares me sometimes how attatched to me he is. He has to see me everyday, even when Im busy or want to spend time at home, and i've already told him that I plan to transfer to the mainland in a year and he gets extremely upset at the thought of us not being together. He said when I leave he'll go with me, and thats not what I want. If we are together that long I wouldn't want him to just pick up and move because of me. If it doesn't work out btw us I wouldn't want him to regret his decision of moving, I wouldn't want to be responsible for messing up his life. I've already told him this, but he has it in his head that I am the one for him and that not following me would be the biggest mistake of his life. He once confided in me that all of his past relationships failed because it was never an equal relationship. None of the girls ever liked him as much as he liked them. after I heard that I couldn't break it off, I didn't want to be another mistake in his life... especially since he has fallen harder for me than any of them, it would hurt soooo much more. We can't even mention the subject of my moving becuase it upsets him so much and I hate that I always have this guilty conscious forever hanging above my head. I don't like that he is making me doubt my plans for my future. I've tried to break it off once and that just didn't work. It crushed me to see how hurt he was and I was feeling a lot of pain of my own. I found myself missing him more than I thought I could. Neither of us could do it... Now I have this horrible feeling of being trapped. I don't even feel like I can openly talk to him about things because he gets upset so easily and I feel like I can't be honest. I don't know what to do. But more than anything, I can't hurt him. It seems cruel to continue this because he will only end up more hurt and I will be unhappy, but I can't help but think that if after being with him longer and really getting to know him I could fall for him and then breaking up would be the biggest mistake I could make. It's all just moving too fast for me and that scares me a lot. I've tried many times to get him to slow down, but that never lasts long because of how stronly he feels for me. But more than anything I just feel scared for the both of us.

If anyone could please help me, it would be greatly appreciated.

This is up to you.

Love doesnt grow in two months. If he is a genuinley nice person you care about then give it a chance. But if hes making you unhappy end it.

Theres no point stringing him along if you think you dont care at all.

Stay strong and know its your life and your choice.

He has psychological issues.Seems like some mentally unfit guy.He is probably carrying lots of non-sensical baggage from his past & contrary to what you mentioned ,I think he is not suited for you.

He needs to see a shrink immediately and sort his issues out.You are just 19 , & i believe you need to take a hard decision here.

He sounds very clingy, and 2 months is quite fast to make such a commitment & use the word "love". I agree with Limbo that he likely has a mental health problem, maybe an attachment disorder.

You say he has fallen harder for you than any of the others (who he also fell very hard for) but how do you know? Because that is what he told you? You weren't there to see it I'm sure. I don't think he's lying about it, he probably feels more attached to you NOW, but honestly he is probably exactly the same in each of the relationships he's been in & you, being normal like his exes, are on the brink of losing your mind.

Do you know any of his family members you can talk to about how attached he is? He could really benefit from some counseling.

I was going to suggest setting up some solid boundaries to give you a little more breathing room, but as you said you tried that from the start & it didn't work. Staying with him to avoid breaking his heart is not a good reason to keep a relationship going. He's not in love with you; he just thinks he is. If you were to break up with him, it would be very hard on both of you. But he WILL get over it just as he got over his exes. And you will be able to breathe freely again. I think you will be surprised at how relieve you will feel after you end it.

This sounds just like my last relationship. Exactly like it. It didn't get better, it was suffocating right until the bitter end. I know it sounds all nice that he is so in love with you, but this really doesn't have anything to do with you or his feelings for you. He's got mental issues and is co-dependent. You're being cruel by letting it go on for longer. Like that cliche saying, you sometimes have to be cruel to be kind. If you don't want to go on in the relationship the best thing you can do for him is to leave it.

Hey I am very very new to this site, and while realizing this is an old post you cannot spend your life trying to make another person happy just because you feel guilty about them and the way he is acting it is like he is actually knowing how to manipulate you and do the guilt trip thing. I am sorry hope this has ended and you learn to love yourself and know that you have to do what is best for you. Staying with someone just because they make you feel guilty for trying to leave or play the hurt game with you is never the way to go. I truly hope you have gotten out of this relationship and moved on and that you learn how to love you and spend time with you for this is something we all have to do is to be able to be content with ourselves before getting into relationships like the one you were in. Darci