Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Holidays & division of family time...

  1. #1
    bzborow1
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Age
    37
    Posts
    909

    Holidays & division of family time...

    Hi guys,

    I have a question regarding the holidays and division of family time. My gf and I moved to another city to pursue school/business interests and are returning to the city for the Christmas holidays for the first time. I've been staying at her parents place as opposed to my parents place because their place is much larger and can accommodate us better.

    Over the last couple of weeks I've spent seemingly countless hours with her family, including spending at least an entire day helping to prep their Christmas dinner (I am a good cook) with her mother. Now we've been in town 2 weeks now and I've spent nearly all those at her parents place, yet she's only been over to my families twice.

    It all came to a head this Saturday. On Friday I set up a dinner with my parents for that Saturday, and she agreed to go. The following Saturday afternoon I spent with her dad as we went to the local dealerships to look at cars (i'm looking). I get back to their place at about 4pm and am going to get ready to go over to my parents when she tells me, "I'm going to dinner with my best friend X". So I was like, "* * * ". But I couldn't say anything because she told me this right in front of her family.

    I blew up after the fact as now my family feels severely dissed, I'm extremely pissed off about this, etc. But the worst part is she's been completely unapologetic. "We can do things on our own we're not joined at the hip". My point was that has nothing to do with it, you agreed to come along and you re-negged. Now I'm stuck in the middle with my family being upset and dealing with a spouse of 4 years acting completely me first.

    Am I wrong to be pissed about this?

  2. #2
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    No - you are not at all wrong. She was rude in the extreme.

    This would be an absolute dealbreaker for me and I would have dumped her on the spot whether her family was there or not.

  3. #3
    rickybobby
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    22
    Be careful because this could a sign of how the holidays are going to be if you get married to her...

    I went through a similar situation during the first 4 years of my marriage. My folks were living away from our home town and stayed with my grandmother during the holidays. With my aunt staying there, we were had to stay with my in-laws which meant I typically only got to see my family during the holiday meal. During that time, my wife was watching the clock for when we had to leave to go back to her parent's house....

    In retrospect, I should have been more forceful that we need to split our time more equally between the two families. My family was always supportive but my in-laws were not.

    The situation finally resolved itself when we moved back to the area and had our own place and didn't have to stay with either set of parents. If we ever move away again, I have decided we will stay at a hotel during the holidays to avoid this situation from ever happening again....

    Stand your ground and don't back down on this...

    One family should not have to take a backseat to another one just because you get married. This has been a persistent problem through my marriage with both my family and the families that my BIL and SIL are married to because my in-laws only care about their holiday schedule and nobody else's.....

Top Threads
Dated, broke up, reconciled, had a relationship, now dumped again
I took a hiatus from this site because in the past year or so, I made so many bad decisions that I felt I could no longer, in good conscience, offer
how to help ex-girl (low self esteem) and help my relationship?
Girl Friend Broke up with me last week because she has low self-esteem issues possibly some depression. She says she canít be in a relationship right
Finding out he is married but I want him.... help
Right, this is a long story.... 8 Years ago, I left a cheating ex with our oldest and pregnant and since then I have been on my own. I have been
HELP Am I in a relationship but still in love with my ex? Cant figure it out!
Okay yíall here we go. Please bare with meÖI do tell a good story though so yea, cuz my life is a ing mess lmao OK! So I am currently in a
Is he interested or just playing with me?
So hereís my story. Iíve been with my boyfriend for 3,5 years and as we were about to cross 3 years mark our relationship was really struggling
How do I decide whether I want to stay with my boyfriend?
Hello everyone. Firstly I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. We argued last week
My boyfriend keeps on cancelling plans
I have been with this guy for about 6 months, and we go weeks and weeks without seeing each because We usually do things on Friday and Saturday;

Featured Threads
What eNotAlone gave you?
I wonder mostly about long-time members who decided to be a part of this community. Has this forum enriched your lives, and if so, in what
How to end things with him
Iíve been dating this guy for 2 months. In the beginning he was very sweet and romantic, however I learned in the last month or so that he is
My ex bf told me he wants sex, nudes and me to loan him money until he's stable... Should I lend $?
Hello.. I am 22 I met my ex bf (21) 3 years ago in college. He dropped out of college after the first semester.. he didn't go to finals. He stayed in
How Should I have handled it?
My GF and I were together for about 5 months. Things were great except for some of my questioning her online activity which challenged her. All
My Ex Husband still berates me
Hello, first off I am not sure why I am on a forum but.. I need an anonymous outlet I guess because my friends and family all say the same thing
Yall ready for a messed up one...
Okay, so i cheated on my bf about 6 month ms into our relationship with a guy 20 years older then me at our work. And it was a rule that it was only
Iím at a really bad state of mind right now
Itís been a little over the month since the breakup, since then, heís messaged me 2-3 times about random topics (that I donít care about), and has
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •