Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 11 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 106

Thread: Ever feel like just finding a FWB???

  1. #1
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    42
    Posts
    10,361
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    17

    Ever feel like just finding a FWB???

    Yeah, ever feel like that? Esp after a long dry spell of not having dates or guys interested in you for dating.

    Part of me is sitting on the fencepost about this subject. Recently I had told you about the swinger guy who is interested in me and interested in dating me, but I find his lifestyle a bit hard to swallow. I know he wants to sleep with me. He's isn't rude or crass about it, but we did talk about that via texting recently. I still chat/text with him on occasions. He's wanted to meet up again. We did go on a date about a week ago. I've been afraid/reluctant to. Not sure why. He tells me he is into safe sex, which is a GOOD thing, and some days I am so dang horny, I just want some.

    But, I'm afraid. Maybe afraid I'd get attached. I dunno. I have enough issues dealing with my best friend (crazy first ex), that I'm not sure if having a true, bona-fide bf would even be possible. Whoever would date me, would have to understand my close friendship with my first ex. Not all guys can deal well with that.

    I also am afraid to have a sexual relationship with him, based on the fact that he also runs in the same social circles I do, which is not always a good thing.

    For those who have wanted to find a FWB, how do you do it, with least risk to yourself health-wise and emotional-wise?

    Last edited by renaissancewoman101; 12-19-2008 at 12:56 AM.

  2. #2
    waveseer
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    11,826
    Thanked
    1
    It's a tempting thought sometimes, but I wouldn't go through with it because it isn't worth it to me. Sex without emotion hurts too much.

  3. #3
    volpe
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,696
    Hmmm... I've been successful at having FWB, but for only short periods of time. But, it's just my personality that I longed for more connection, especially since the friends part was there first before the benefits, so it was hard for me to separate that all out.

    The only way you can really do it, is if you are sure you aren't hoping to reel him in as more later, and if you actually are confident you don't want to be in a relationship with this person. Then it is possible. But from reading your posts, it seems like you want more... I mean, if you can make it into a one night stand or two, there is nothing wrong with that... but I don't recommend a long term kind of FWB thing if you have any doubts about it, it usually... for me, long term FWB gets messed up.

  4. #4
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    42
    Posts
    10,361
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    17
    Quote Originally Posted by ready2heal [Register to see the link]
    It's a tempting thought sometimes, but I wouldn't go through with it because it isn't worth it to me. Sex without emotion hurts too much.
    I've never been able to pull off the "sex without emotions". Maybe now that I'm a bit older and more mature, I might be able to. I dunno.

    It seems a lot of girls can do it.

    Volpe, I'm pretty sure I don't want to be in a long-term relationship with this guy. His swinger lifestyle is something I don't like.

    I want more than a ONS or FWB with someone (not with this guy though), but my prospects haven't exactly been appearing. Part of me is also hurt because the guy I do really like and am attracted to, he only sees me as a "friend" and from the times I've hung out with him, fenced with him, etc., I don't see that he likes me any other than as a friend.

    A while back, I did a FWB that lasted a few months. That ended messily and with me falling in love with him. I tried to save the friendship but it died out somehow. Something I still try to come to grips with

  5. #5
    waveseer
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    11,826
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]
    I've never been able to pull off the "sex without emotions". Maybe now that I'm a bit older and more mature, I might be able to. I dunno.

    It seems a lot of girls can do it.
    I actually could do it when I was experimenting with sex at high school age and as I got older I was less and less capable of keeping emotions out of it.

  6. #6
    volpe
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,696
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]
    I've never been able to pull off the "sex without emotions". Maybe now that I'm a bit older and more mature, I might be able to. I dunno.

    It seems a lot of girls can do it.
    Well this is your answer... if you can't do it, you can't do it... I'm sorry... I know it sucks... it sucks for me too, I've had a couple of really HOT sexual partners, but I just couldn't take it only being sexual and I ended it. It sucks!!

  7. #7
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    42
    Posts
    10,361
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    17
    Volpe, I have a hard time ending things. I usually wait till the other party "ends" it and I am stuck with some hurt feelings and lingering emotions. Maybe since I'm older and more cynical, this won't happen to me.

    I dunno.

    A thread by hersmudders (that I recently read) got me thinking again about this. She's such a strong gal.

  8. #8
    hers
    Platinum Member hers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    15 Yemen Road, Yemen
    Age
    33
    Posts
    12,453
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    31
    I am in that situation, Ren. I am looking for either a boyfriend or a FWB. I don't care which at this point. A girl's gotta eat. I want a boyfriend b/c I want the closeness, the laughter, the sharing stories, the sex, oh the regular sex. I want a FWB just to get some. Regularly.

    I hav eno problem separating emotions from sex. It's just easy for me. To be honest, I'm not really sure how I do it--it's just something I tell myself I need to do and I do it. My current FWB (which I'm actually in the market for a new one) just really sucks in bed and I don't like him much as a person, so it's easy to go over there, get mine (if you can call it that with him), and leave and not wonder about him the next day.

    I just find a guy I know I wouldn't want a relationship with and go for the sex. It's not hard really. Some things are major deal breakers for me: Does he want kids? If yes, then he's not long-term potential for me (but if he's good looking and the chemistry is otherwise there, we can sleep together--protected of course!). That's the only one I can think of now.

    Anyway, that's how I do it. I don't know if that helps or not.

  9. #9
    volpe
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,696
    well, once I had sex with this person and we both agreed never to call each other again after. it's not a bad idea, if you know you are the type to get attached and just want to get some to take the edge off for a little while. the hard part is to still not call, but if it's someone you don't want anything with really, it's possible.

  10. #10
    hers
    Platinum Member hers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    15 Yemen Road, Yemen
    Age
    33
    Posts
    12,453
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    31
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]

    A thread by hersmudders (that I recently read) got me thinking again about this. She's such a strong gal.
    Haha, if you only knew. When dude canceled on me tonight, I got sad, went to Target, bought "Mamma Mia" and brownies and baked them while singing Abba songs along to the DVD. I just miss having someone want me, whether it's a FWB or a boyfriend. It's nice to be wanted, you know? If I don't know I'm wanted in one way or another, I tend to feel more insecure.

    Which is why I think my job (dog walking/pet sitting) is so perfect for me; I walk into a house, and the dog is so happy to see me that it can't contain itself--it's spinning in circles, jumping, wagging its tail so hard that its whole body is shaking. I pretend they are thinking that they have been waiting for me all day and they are thrilled that I'm there b/c they love me so much. I know that may sound stupid, but it really helps my self-esteem a lot, knowing that I'm wanted like that.

  11.  

Page 1 of 11 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
High school determines everything
High school determines the haves and have nots when it comes to dating and relationships. Someone who's dated in high school knows what they are
Moving in and Putting a Ring on It
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 11 months (early 30s). We have great communication and we have both admitted we see this going for
Should i move on?
I have been seeing this guy for a couple of years now. He has always been very nice and romantic. The only issue is that hes 18 years older than me
Going on Online Dates Questions !!
Hi, i been online dating for a while now with tinder and pof. My problem is that i have trouble getting past the first date a lot its like 8 out of
Is it time to move on?
Been seeing this girl for a little over a month. Been talking everyday since. We go out to dinner,stay the night at each others houses, etc. Both are
What should I do???? :(
I've been with my boyfriend for three plus years. I have given everything that I have to this relationship, but my boyfriend is never romantic. He
Finding love in late 20s
Hey everyone, I'm a 26 years old girl and I've been single for about 4 years now. I was in a relationship once before for 4 years, and I guess
Featured Threads
How should I proceed?
I have financially supported my wife for the first 10 years of our marriage. I paid for everything (including her student loan from college) while
Was it rape if it wasn't violent?
Okay, I've never posted this on a forum or anywhere before so it's a little uncomfortable for me but bear with me. I met a guy two years ago that
Not sure what to make of this
So my boyfriend, 28, and I (26) have been together a year and a half now. My boyfriend, "Brett", used to be a member of this site called 'Suicide
Was He Cheating?
I need some advice. I have been with my bf for 2.5 years. I recently went through his phone which I never do but I had a bad feeling. He's been
My mother is snooping into my relationship
I know I posted about how my boyfriend came out as a bisexual after three years of dating right before he wanted to propose. And if some of you don't
hello new here and have a very unique situation
I just want to say HI and share a situation that I need help with desperately. So I will start off. I am a 37 yr old male, healthy and fit. I own
Do I leave my secure relationship for my soulmate?
So I've been with my fiancÚ for about 6 years and engaged half that. I've also been friends with a coworker of his for those 6 years. Only about a
Ask For Advice

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •