Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 11 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 106

Thread: Ever feel like just finding a FWB???

  1. #1
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    43
    Posts
    10,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    18

    Ever feel like just finding a FWB???

    Yeah, ever feel like that? Esp after a long dry spell of not having dates or guys interested in you for dating.

    Part of me is sitting on the fencepost about this subject. Recently I had told you about the swinger guy who is interested in me and interested in dating me, but I find his lifestyle a bit hard to swallow. I know he wants to sleep with me. He's isn't rude or crass about it, but we did talk about that via texting recently. I still chat/text with him on occasions. He's wanted to meet up again. We did go on a date about a week ago. I've been afraid/reluctant to. Not sure why. He tells me he is into safe sex, which is a GOOD thing, and some days I am so dang horny, I just want some.

    But, I'm afraid. Maybe afraid I'd get attached. I dunno. I have enough issues dealing with my best friend (crazy first ex), that I'm not sure if having a true, bona-fide bf would even be possible. Whoever would date me, would have to understand my close friendship with my first ex. Not all guys can deal well with that.

    I also am afraid to have a sexual relationship with him, based on the fact that he also runs in the same social circles I do, which is not always a good thing.

    For those who have wanted to find a FWB, how do you do it, with least risk to yourself health-wise and emotional-wise?
    Last edited by renaissancewoman101; 12-19-2008 at 12:56 AM.

  2. #2
    waveseer
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    11,826
    Thanked
    1
    It's a tempting thought sometimes, but I wouldn't go through with it because it isn't worth it to me. Sex without emotion hurts too much.

  3. #3
    volpe
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,696
    Hmmm... I've been successful at having FWB, but for only short periods of time. But, it's just my personality that I longed for more connection, especially since the friends part was there first before the benefits, so it was hard for me to separate that all out.

    The only way you can really do it, is if you are sure you aren't hoping to reel him in as more later, and if you actually are confident you don't want to be in a relationship with this person. Then it is possible. But from reading your posts, it seems like you want more... I mean, if you can make it into a one night stand or two, there is nothing wrong with that... but I don't recommend a long term kind of FWB thing if you have any doubts about it, it usually... for me, long term FWB gets messed up.

  4. #4
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    43
    Posts
    10,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    18
    Quote Originally Posted by ready2heal [Register to see the link]
    It's a tempting thought sometimes, but I wouldn't go through with it because it isn't worth it to me. Sex without emotion hurts too much.
    I've never been able to pull off the "sex without emotions". Maybe now that I'm a bit older and more mature, I might be able to. I dunno.

    It seems a lot of girls can do it.

    Volpe, I'm pretty sure I don't want to be in a long-term relationship with this guy. His swinger lifestyle is something I don't like.

    I want more than a ONS or FWB with someone (not with this guy though), but my prospects haven't exactly been appearing. Part of me is also hurt because the guy I do really like and am attracted to, he only sees me as a "friend" and from the times I've hung out with him, fenced with him, etc., I don't see that he likes me any other than as a friend.

    A while back, I did a FWB that lasted a few months. That ended messily and with me falling in love with him. I tried to save the friendship but it died out somehow. Something I still try to come to grips with

  5. #5
    waveseer
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    11,826
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]
    I've never been able to pull off the "sex without emotions". Maybe now that I'm a bit older and more mature, I might be able to. I dunno.

    It seems a lot of girls can do it.
    I actually could do it when I was experimenting with sex at high school age and as I got older I was less and less capable of keeping emotions out of it.

  6. #6
    volpe
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,696
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]
    I've never been able to pull off the "sex without emotions". Maybe now that I'm a bit older and more mature, I might be able to. I dunno.

    It seems a lot of girls can do it.
    Well this is your answer... if you can't do it, you can't do it... I'm sorry... I know it sucks... it sucks for me too, I've had a couple of really HOT sexual partners, but I just couldn't take it only being sexual and I ended it. It sucks!!

  7. #7
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    43
    Posts
    10,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    18
    Volpe, I have a hard time ending things. I usually wait till the other party "ends" it and I am stuck with some hurt feelings and lingering emotions. Maybe since I'm older and more cynical, this won't happen to me.

    I dunno.

    A thread by hersmudders (that I recently read) got me thinking again about this. She's such a strong gal.

  8. #8
    hers
    Platinum Member hers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    15 Yemen Road, Yemen
    Age
    34
    Posts
    12,453
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    31
    I am in that situation, Ren. I am looking for either a boyfriend or a FWB. I don't care which at this point. A girl's gotta eat. I want a boyfriend b/c I want the closeness, the laughter, the sharing stories, the sex, oh the regular sex. I want a FWB just to get some. Regularly.

    I hav eno problem separating emotions from sex. It's just easy for me. To be honest, I'm not really sure how I do it--it's just something I tell myself I need to do and I do it. My current FWB (which I'm actually in the market for a new one) just really sucks in bed and I don't like him much as a person, so it's easy to go over there, get mine (if you can call it that with him), and leave and not wonder about him the next day.

    I just find a guy I know I wouldn't want a relationship with and go for the sex. It's not hard really. Some things are major deal breakers for me: Does he want kids? If yes, then he's not long-term potential for me (but if he's good looking and the chemistry is otherwise there, we can sleep together--protected of course!). That's the only one I can think of now.

    Anyway, that's how I do it. I don't know if that helps or not.

  9. #9
    volpe
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,696
    well, once I had sex with this person and we both agreed never to call each other again after. it's not a bad idea, if you know you are the type to get attached and just want to get some to take the edge off for a little while. the hard part is to still not call, but if it's someone you don't want anything with really, it's possible.

  10. #10
    hers
    Platinum Member hers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    15 Yemen Road, Yemen
    Age
    34
    Posts
    12,453
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    31
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]

    A thread by hersmudders (that I recently read) got me thinking again about this. She's such a strong gal.
    Haha, if you only knew. When dude canceled on me tonight, I got sad, went to Target, bought "Mamma Mia" and brownies and baked them while singing Abba songs along to the DVD. I just miss having someone want me, whether it's a FWB or a boyfriend. It's nice to be wanted, you know? If I don't know I'm wanted in one way or another, I tend to feel more insecure.

    Which is why I think my job (dog walking/pet sitting) is so perfect for me; I walk into a house, and the dog is so happy to see me that it can't contain itself--it's spinning in circles, jumping, wagging its tail so hard that its whole body is shaking. I pretend they are thinking that they have been waiting for me all day and they are thrilled that I'm there b/c they love me so much. I know that may sound stupid, but it really helps my self-esteem a lot, knowing that I'm wanted like that.

  11.  

Page 1 of 11 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
Met a girl on POF last night and was turned off by this question
We chatted online for a bit and then exchanged phone numbers. Then we talked for the first time last night and it was something about this question
Dating a guy but so far no sex - is it normal?
Some of you may know the beginning of this story with the climbing guy. Now it's been date .. 6. We spent both Christmas eve and a Christmas day
He asked if I've ever been abused!
So this is a continuation of a previous thread I posted. A brief background is that I met a guy last month and he seemed to be rushing our
He doesn't want a relationship, but wants to keep dating
So I've been going on dates with this guy for 7 months. I'm 28, he's 29. To give some background, we both have very intense jobs & personal
Most embarrassing thing EVER
So I just started seeing someone. ... he came for a sleep over for the first time. I took a shower before bed. And went pee before l showed....I'm on
Question about OLD etiquette
I'm a male, 39, who has been participating in the world of OLD for the first time in my life for the past couple of months. I got my heart broken
How to make your heart move on......
Hello everyone. I am new here and Im sort of desperate for advice. I am a 24 y/o girl who feels really lost and alone. I am two months out of a
Featured Threads
Why don't guys express themselves
I just want an understanding as to why a guy will hold in all or majority of their emotions and feelings when it comes to their girlfriends... Not
Part 2
Apparently I am rife with confusion over this gentleman. So he and I had a perfect date yesterday. We have a great amount in common, and our
Tinder is making me hate women
I thought I'd set up a Tinder account again. This time I tried to take better photos, with my face clearly shown, with myself at a party, and a photo
Kissing
Why does my boyfriend kiss me with his eyes open?
Resentment towards bf..
Lately I have been struggling with wanting to have a healthy relationship with my partner however things in the past are constantly being brought up
Boyfriend of 3 years had been sleeping with escorts and going on dates
I've always had an unexplainable feeling that my boyfriend might be unfaithful but I always chalked that up to my own insecurities. I know it's
Is there a future?
I'm 22 and about to enter my PhD at an Ivey league University. I've been dating the most patient, understanding, affectionate, funny, and adoring man
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •