Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 11 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 106

Thread: Ever feel like just finding a FWB???

  1. #1
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    43
    Posts
    10,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    18

    Ever feel like just finding a FWB???

    Yeah, ever feel like that? Esp after a long dry spell of not having dates or guys interested in you for dating.

    Part of me is sitting on the fencepost about this subject. Recently I had told you about the swinger guy who is interested in me and interested in dating me, but I find his lifestyle a bit hard to swallow. I know he wants to sleep with me. He's isn't rude or crass about it, but we did talk about that via texting recently. I still chat/text with him on occasions. He's wanted to meet up again. We did go on a date about a week ago. I've been afraid/reluctant to. Not sure why. He tells me he is into safe sex, which is a GOOD thing, and some days I am so dang horny, I just want some.

    But, I'm afraid. Maybe afraid I'd get attached. I dunno. I have enough issues dealing with my best friend (crazy first ex), that I'm not sure if having a true, bona-fide bf would even be possible. Whoever would date me, would have to understand my close friendship with my first ex. Not all guys can deal well with that.

    I also am afraid to have a sexual relationship with him, based on the fact that he also runs in the same social circles I do, which is not always a good thing.

    For those who have wanted to find a FWB, how do you do it, with least risk to yourself health-wise and emotional-wise?
    Last edited by renaissancewoman101; 12-19-2008 at 12:56 AM.

  2. #2
    waveseer
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    11,826
    Thanked
    1
    It's a tempting thought sometimes, but I wouldn't go through with it because it isn't worth it to me. Sex without emotion hurts too much.

  3. #3
    volpe
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,696
    Hmmm... I've been successful at having FWB, but for only short periods of time. But, it's just my personality that I longed for more connection, especially since the friends part was there first before the benefits, so it was hard for me to separate that all out.

    The only way you can really do it, is if you are sure you aren't hoping to reel him in as more later, and if you actually are confident you don't want to be in a relationship with this person. Then it is possible. But from reading your posts, it seems like you want more... I mean, if you can make it into a one night stand or two, there is nothing wrong with that... but I don't recommend a long term kind of FWB thing if you have any doubts about it, it usually... for me, long term FWB gets messed up.

  4. #4
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    43
    Posts
    10,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    18
    Quote Originally Posted by ready2heal [Register to see the link]
    It's a tempting thought sometimes, but I wouldn't go through with it because it isn't worth it to me. Sex without emotion hurts too much.
    I've never been able to pull off the "sex without emotions". Maybe now that I'm a bit older and more mature, I might be able to. I dunno.

    It seems a lot of girls can do it.

    Volpe, I'm pretty sure I don't want to be in a long-term relationship with this guy. His swinger lifestyle is something I don't like.

    I want more than a ONS or FWB with someone (not with this guy though), but my prospects haven't exactly been appearing. Part of me is also hurt because the guy I do really like and am attracted to, he only sees me as a "friend" and from the times I've hung out with him, fenced with him, etc., I don't see that he likes me any other than as a friend.

    A while back, I did a FWB that lasted a few months. That ended messily and with me falling in love with him. I tried to save the friendship but it died out somehow. Something I still try to come to grips with

  5. #5
    waveseer
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    11,826
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]
    I've never been able to pull off the "sex without emotions". Maybe now that I'm a bit older and more mature, I might be able to. I dunno.

    It seems a lot of girls can do it.
    I actually could do it when I was experimenting with sex at high school age and as I got older I was less and less capable of keeping emotions out of it.

  6. #6
    volpe
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,696
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]
    I've never been able to pull off the "sex without emotions". Maybe now that I'm a bit older and more mature, I might be able to. I dunno.

    It seems a lot of girls can do it.
    Well this is your answer... if you can't do it, you can't do it... I'm sorry... I know it sucks... it sucks for me too, I've had a couple of really HOT sexual partners, but I just couldn't take it only being sexual and I ended it. It sucks!!

  7. #7
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    43
    Posts
    10,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    18
    Volpe, I have a hard time ending things. I usually wait till the other party "ends" it and I am stuck with some hurt feelings and lingering emotions. Maybe since I'm older and more cynical, this won't happen to me.

    I dunno.

    A thread by hersmudders (that I recently read) got me thinking again about this. She's such a strong gal.

  8. #8
    hers
    Platinum Member hers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    15 Yemen Road, Yemen
    Age
    34
    Posts
    12,453
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    31
    I am in that situation, Ren. I am looking for either a boyfriend or a FWB. I don't care which at this point. A girl's gotta eat. I want a boyfriend b/c I want the closeness, the laughter, the sharing stories, the sex, oh the regular sex. I want a FWB just to get some. Regularly.

    I hav eno problem separating emotions from sex. It's just easy for me. To be honest, I'm not really sure how I do it--it's just something I tell myself I need to do and I do it. My current FWB (which I'm actually in the market for a new one) just really sucks in bed and I don't like him much as a person, so it's easy to go over there, get mine (if you can call it that with him), and leave and not wonder about him the next day.

    I just find a guy I know I wouldn't want a relationship with and go for the sex. It's not hard really. Some things are major deal breakers for me: Does he want kids? If yes, then he's not long-term potential for me (but if he's good looking and the chemistry is otherwise there, we can sleep together--protected of course!). That's the only one I can think of now.

    Anyway, that's how I do it. I don't know if that helps or not.

  9. #9
    volpe
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,696
    well, once I had sex with this person and we both agreed never to call each other again after. it's not a bad idea, if you know you are the type to get attached and just want to get some to take the edge off for a little while. the hard part is to still not call, but if it's someone you don't want anything with really, it's possible.

  10. #10
    hers
    Platinum Member hers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    15 Yemen Road, Yemen
    Age
    34
    Posts
    12,453
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    31
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]

    A thread by hersmudders (that I recently read) got me thinking again about this. She's such a strong gal.
    Haha, if you only knew. When dude canceled on me tonight, I got sad, went to Target, bought "Mamma Mia" and brownies and baked them while singing Abba songs along to the DVD. I just miss having someone want me, whether it's a FWB or a boyfriend. It's nice to be wanted, you know? If I don't know I'm wanted in one way or another, I tend to feel more insecure.

    Which is why I think my job (dog walking/pet sitting) is so perfect for me; I walk into a house, and the dog is so happy to see me that it can't contain itself--it's spinning in circles, jumping, wagging its tail so hard that its whole body is shaking. I pretend they are thinking that they have been waiting for me all day and they are thrilled that I'm there b/c they love me so much. I know that may sound stupid, but it really helps my self-esteem a lot, knowing that I'm wanted like that.

  11.  

Page 1 of 11 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
I don't want to lose her, but I said foolish crap.
We've been dating for a month and a half...been on 5 dates...have done everything except have sex. Talk on the phone 6 hours a night...every night
Can guys really be non texters?
I've been bad w/spotting one sided relationships, so I want a guy who is actually interested in me. I went to an event I go every year, I knew I
Good lord, I feel SO stupid. Again. How should I handle this
So I was dating someone about a year ago. We dated for three months. He was the one driving the relationship...calling me his girlfriend, making
Maybe losing the best love I've ever had?
Hi everyone, this is my first post, and I'm kind of struggling to get all my thoughts together, so I guess I'll just start. I'm 21, and my boyfriend
3 year anniversary or family trip :S
So me and my grandfather have been planning a trip for a few years now, each year we plan to go and the last two years I cancelled because of gf's
3 Months And I'm Being Too Bratty
I've been seeing him for 3 months. He's been open/honest, even when I donít like what heís saying. He told me up front, his relationship side is
My brother and his colleague
My brother hugged his colleague when she became teared up .she hugged him back with big smile and she told him hey at this time she told him I am
Featured Threads
Is he still in love with his EX?
I met this great guy at work (last November), he just got out of a painful breakup (last September) during that time he kept communicating with his
Can't get over girlfriends past
I've been dating this girl for about 5 months and its going great. The only issue is that I can't get over her sexual history. There are several
I dont like my girlfriends new piercing
So my girlfriend went and got nipple piercings knowing that i didnt like them and didnt tell me she was gonna get them. They are a really big turn
What I am to her ?
hey guys I want some counseling .. I met a girl online .. At first she said that she doesn't wanna fall for me and we will be just friends .. I said
I want my family back
Hi, I was dumped on New Years Eve by my ex girlfriend of 8 years whom I have a 6 year old with. We have been arguing for the past few months prior to
Anxious and depressed about being 32 yo and not married
I could really use some kind and encouraging words right now because I wake up every morning to an intense feeling of pain because I am alone. I'm 32
Ex (dumper) delays giving keys back. Why?
First time poster. Been viewing threads somewhat regularly for a few months now and figured I'd get a few opinions. I'll give a little of the
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •