I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't think I'm depressed or sad.. Just very unmotivated and emotionless.My life has become stagnant and boring. I've tried for months on end to look for a job and nothing. I've completely giving up & stopped caring. I have no money & I'm just down on my luck. I've become very anti social and just have not found the energy or the mood to talk to anyone. I'm losing friends left and right because of my nonchalant attitude these days. They say I have changed and their tired of being the only ones trying to make the friendship worked. I got into an argument with my best friend that I've known since kindergarden over the same issue and they've decided to cut ties with me also. This hasn't helped me feel any better and yet I just don't feel like going through the trouble to call or apologize.
I'm single and it looks that way forever, it irritates me that everywhere I go, I see happiness and families together. I see couples kissing and laughing. I would like that for once but I never get it.I was so miserable today that I just decided to ride the train and the bus all day long.. just gazing out of the window. I was hoping I would find somebody to talk to, someone to take notice of the sadness and the pain I'm feeling but everyone basically ignored me. I don't have money to see a psychiatrist.. I'm too depressed and unmotivated to join a club or get involved with anything. At the same time I don't feel like interacting with anybody. I just have no passion or drive for anything anymore.. I don't know.. I'm confused and lost.