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Thread: Girlfriend's teasing is bugging me...

  1. #1
    Seymore
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    Girlfriend's teasing is bugging me...

    My girlfriend knows I love having sex with her. Her drive isn't as great as mine, though. We used to have it 1-2 times a month, but lately it's gotten better. A few weeks ago we had it 4 times in 1 week. Since then it's been at least once a week.

    I'm happy with the change, but not with how she teases me sometimes. Last night she asked me for one of my t-shirts to wear while she was sitting on my couch working on her laptop. I got a shirt, came back in and she was naked except for her panties, working on her computer. Naturally, I got excited. I started to touch her breasts and she basically ignored me, working on her computer. No rush to get the shirt on or anything. I tried to make a move and she said she didn't feel like it, gently pushed me away and kept working. I got upset and she asked why I was in a bad mood, and I said I didn't appreciate the teasing. She said that she let me touch her breasts, and asked why that wasn't enough.

    The evening before she went on about how she wanted to have sex. She was practicing a presentation she had to give to some children the next day, and decided to practice with me as the audience. She broke out in the middle and said "So, do you want to have sex?" I said yes and moved in, and she just went on with the presentation. Afterwards I tried to make a move on her and she said "Let's go for ice cream". We didn't have sex that night.

    She's said herself she loves how she can do the littlest thing and turn me on, yet she can't understand how I get upset when she decides to randomly flash her breasts at me and turn me down right after for sex, often saying "I dunno, I just don't feel like it".

    I give her massages a couple of times a week. I asked her how she'd feel if I started massaging her foot for 10 seconds and just stopped. She said I do that all the time. I don't, and when I asked when I did that last she couldn't tell me. Again, because I don't. It's cruel.

    What should I do? Does anyone else feel the way I do about this?

  2. #2
    waveseer
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    I would not accept that type of behavior from a man so why should you accept it from a woman?

  3. #3
    Seymore
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    And you know...a couple of months ago when I decided to just ignore her flashing me, asking about sex etc. (because I knew when it would amount to nothing but teasing), she would get self-conscious and tell me I was acting different, like I wasn't attracted to her anymore. I told her that I didn't even feel it was worth getting excited because she would just tease me so I just ignored her. Then she came again with the "Well, sometimes I just don't feel like it". Right, but she feels like talking dirty and exposing herself to me.

  4. #4
    waveseer
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    She is playing sexual power games. It may be that she's feeling insecure and needing reassurance of her desirability from you. Maybe a nice supportive conversation explaining how you feel and reiterating your desire for her would help.

  5. #5
    heloladies21
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    Hey buddy, you know by reading your previous threads I can deduce this about your relationship: You don't do anything wrong, but you don't do enough things right ie. stick up for yourself.

    You'll come on here and post about all of this bad stuff your gf does to you, so you know you're being disrespected. But she does not respect your boundaries and that is because you come accross as soft to her. All of this teasing just stems from the fact that she believes that she can pull your strings and this is a death sentence as far as a girl's interest is concerned.

    She's not gong to change unless you give her a reason to change.

  6. #6
    Seymore
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    Quote Originally Posted by ready2heal [Register to see the link]
    She is playing sexual power games. It may be that she's feeling insecure and needing reassurance of her desirability from you. Maybe a nice supportive conversation explaining how you feel and reiterating your desire for her would help.
    I don't know how she needs reassurance, though. I'm always checking her out. ALWAYS. We've been together 15 months now, and she can still just look at me a certain way and I'll have a full erection. She's got the figure of a model, and not one of those heroin-chic models either. And I know it's not just about her body. I show her in so many ways that I love her aside from that, but my desire for her is never, ever a secret. I don't know what more I can do to assure her of my desire for her.

    And when I stick up for myself she acts like what I say is ridiculous. Like when I bring up the teasing. She thinks it's either A)crazy because that's not at all what she's trying to do, or B)crazy because she lets me touch her and that should be enough, unless she wants to go further.

    I just find myself getting angrier and angrier though, and one of these days I'm just going to ignore her completely or not want to have sex with her at all anymore.

  7. #7
    waveseer
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    That is so not okay and you need to let her know it's not okay to do those things to you. Tell her what you just wrote including the final result if she doesn't change her teasin' ways.

  8. #8
    Sarati
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    Quote Originally Posted by ready2heal [Register to see the link]
    That is so not okay and you need to let her know it's not okay to do those things to you. Tell her what you just wrote including the final result if she doesn't change her teasin' ways.
    R2H, I love how you get straight to the point. Seymore, Ready2Heal is totally right. This girl is pushing your buttons. She's got you wrapped around her little finger, and of course you are pi$$ed. It's emasculating to have a woman do these things to you. Back off, make yourself unavailable for a short time, and get busy doing things you are interested in. She has a lot of nerve just settling right into your life and running the show. R2H is right about the power games.

  9. #9
    redhearts

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    What you do? Next time she wants it DON'T GIVE IT TO HER. Play her dumb little game, act childish yourself. Tease her.

  10. #10
    tylercdurden2004
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    Perfect. She knows exactly which strings to pull to get a reaction from you. Now she can control you. You are the mouse and she is the cat playing fully batting you around until you are no more.... Its a slow death.

    Helo is right. Stand up for yourself. Stop letting her push your buttons.

    What you did before was good to not react. Start doing that again.

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