-HelpWanted- Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 I have been in a relationship with a girl for a little over 3 years now, and I REALLY care about her. But as of recently, I don't feel as though I love her in the way that I always have. I used to love her so much, like it was obvious and I never had any doubts. Even SHE had doubts sometimes, but I never had. Not until recently anyway. As of early this summer I started feeling more just like she was my best friend (which she always has been) and less like my girlfriend. There was no major defining event that I can say caused this which makes it even more frustrating. There isn't even another girl that I have fallen for--which at this point would at least give me a reason--so I don't know why it has happened, but it has. It got to the point where I tried to break up with her in late august, but I didn't want to hurt her and she was absolutely traumatized, and I started going into a state of denial. So basically, we ended up getting back together, which I thought was the right decision for about a week and then realized it was not. I have waited for a few months to see if it was just a phase, and have tried really hard to make things go back to the way that they used to be, but nothing has changed, and now she seems to be even more in love with me than ever. She is so sweet, and very caring, but also very emotional (which I don't have a problem with, but at the same time it makes this very difficult). So I have two questions: 1) Am I a terrible person for falling out of love with her? Obviously, if I had a choice, I wouldn't have. 2) How do I break up with her without making her cut me out of her life, and hurting her the least? Because if I lose my girlfriend, I am also losing my best friend. ANY input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you Link to comment
Mending 08 Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 Help Wanted...unfortunately when you brreak up with someone...you also lose the right to be their "friend". Your g/f may not want to just be your "friend" if you break up with her.It feels like a demotion to go from g/f to "friend". She may...but if she doesn't it's just something you have to respect. And you can't control the fact you don't feel "in love" with her anymore.....but if you truly believe you need to break up with her, then do it sooner than later. She deserves to know the truth...and she deserves someone who DOES want to be with her..not just out of obligation...and so do you. Link to comment
lana111 Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 1. no, not at all. 2. be honest. ltell her what you told us.... that you just feel a platonic love and dont feel that a romantic relationship between the two of you is working. tell her you know this is going to hurt the both of you but you think its in your best interests. but once you do that you guys are going to have to stop talking/spending time together... at least until you have healed. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 ok, she is your best friend. You are not a terrible person for falling out of love, but why did that happen? It should be a reason to it. I'd say want the reason and see if you can work on it and love her again. otherwise as the other poster said the sooner you break up with her the better! Link to comment
doyathink Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 Think long and hard about this b4 you make a decision. One thing I've found in this life...is true love is hard to find. If someone loves you, you truly are blessed. Link to comment
TropicalParadise Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 How old are the both of you, if you don't mind me asking? Are you still sexually attracted to her? Was there ever chemistry in the beginning, or do you think something was always missing? Link to comment
-HelpWanted- Posted December 1, 2008 Author Share Posted December 1, 2008 We are both 19, there is still a sexual attraction, and there was chemistry, yes. Link to comment
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