Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Rules of thumb for the time to get over a breakup

  1. #1
    HereIGoAgain
    Bronze Member HereIGoAgain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Out there, somewhere
    Posts
    214
    Gender
    Male

    Rules of thumb for the time to get over a breakup

    Just wondering about these rules of thumb that say for a relationship of a number of months or years it will take some fraction of that time to get over it. For example, the two common ones I've seen are it will take a week for every month of the relationship or a month for every year. The other is that it takes half the amount of time the relationship lasted (I hope not as that means I've got another 18 months of this hell).

    How does anyone know how long it will take, is it based on some statistical fact? Or is it just made up?

  2. #2
    gingerbeer
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    35
    Someone also told me the "half the time the relationship lasted" thing - which gives me probably just under two years. No way jose. It's not a month for every year - else I'd be ok now. Maybe let's err on the side of hopefulness and go for week per month - that's 48 weeks. So just under a year. Which is probably in all reality going to be realistic for me. Unless George Clooney calls - then I'm sure I'll be over the whole thing in a FLASH. x

    But in all honesty - who makes up these statistics - they must just average everything down and then come up with figures - which probably comes back to the old saying that it'll be different for everyone - which I guess is more likely.

  3. #3
    pushforward
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    los angeles
    Posts
    828
    Gender
    Male
    Generally, everybody is different. Healing happens and takes time. There is not statistics about how long it actually takes. Some people can take months or years.

    Dr. Drew Pinsky of love line says 6 months of strict NC.

    While, other people that I know in real life, some said days. Some said months, some said years. I remember my ex's cousin took 10 years to finally heal from his high school sweet heart.

    I don't think there is any rules. Just put the focus on you and try to work through it. Try not to give yourself a time limit, or you start to bring more focus on the days. Try to lose count and lose yourself in the moment.

  4. #4
    SapphireNoir10
    Super Moderator SapphireNoir10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    11,950
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    105
    I think everyone different. Theres no rule for things like it. It took me probably three months to get over my ex but it had been over for a long time anyway.

  5. #5
    waveseer
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    11,826
    Thanked
    1
    From reading what people say on here it seems like the amount of time it takes has more to do with the intensity and depth of the person's feelings than the duration of the relationship.

  6.  

Top Threads
Broken and devastated
I feel like I can't go on. My boyfriend said I was his wife-to-be. I met his family. He met mine. But I could not control my feelings. I loved
I'm still here, and total, utter, rock bottom happened
I'm sure some of you may be overjoyed with the "I told you so", but things escalated and XBF assaulted me. I went over his house, and she was
Hard to let go!
I have been with my bf for a year and it was a long distance relationship. We met on Twitter and it just clicked like we would talk to each other
Dear Boyfriend's Ex:
This is going to be a venting post...I just need to get this out as it is bothering me...but on top of that...just confusing me. You are not dating
Stuck.
I've come to hate the judgment and many of the snarky attitudes on this forum, but at the same time I have nowhere to turn, and there still are some
Do you have to talk to your ex to move on/get closure?
Hey gang, I've had 4 break ups in my entire life. My 3 previous break ups, I've always some how ended up talking to my ex's again around the 6-9
Backtracked
I feel ashamed saying this. I have no good excuse for doing this except that I'm weak and pathetic and stupid. :( I texted my ex. Urgh. I know I

valendtine's  day counseling
Featured Threads
How should I proceed?
I have financially supported my wife for the first 10 years of our marriage. I paid for everything (including her student loan from college) while
Was it rape if it wasn't violent?
Okay, I've never posted this on a forum or anywhere before so it's a little uncomfortable for me but bear with me. I met a guy two years ago that
Not sure what to make of this
So my boyfriend, 28, and I (26) have been together a year and a half now. My boyfriend, "Brett", used to be a member of this site called 'Suicide
Was He Cheating?
I need some advice. I have been with my bf for 2.5 years. I recently went through his phone which I never do but I had a bad feeling. He's been
My mother is snooping into my relationship
I know I posted about how my boyfriend came out as a bisexual after three years of dating right before he wanted to propose. And if some of you don't
hello new here and have a very unique situation
I just want to say HI and share a situation that I need help with desperately. So I will start off. I am a 37 yr old male, healthy and fit. I own
Do I leave my secure relationship for my soulmate?
So I've been with my fiancÚ for about 6 years and engaged half that. I've also been friends with a coworker of his for those 6 years. Only about a
Ask For Advice

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •