Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Rules of thumb for the time to get over a breakup

  1. #1
    HereIGoAgain
    Bronze Member HereIGoAgain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Out there, somewhere
    Posts
    214
    Gender
    Male

    Rules of thumb for the time to get over a breakup

    Just wondering about these rules of thumb that say for a relationship of a number of months or years it will take some fraction of that time to get over it. For example, the two common ones I've seen are it will take a week for every month of the relationship or a month for every year. The other is that it takes half the amount of time the relationship lasted (I hope not as that means I've got another 18 months of this hell).

    How does anyone know how long it will take, is it based on some statistical fact? Or is it just made up?

  2. #2
    gingerbeer
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    35
    Someone also told me the "half the time the relationship lasted" thing - which gives me probably just under two years. No way jose. It's not a month for every year - else I'd be ok now. Maybe let's err on the side of hopefulness and go for week per month - that's 48 weeks. So just under a year. Which is probably in all reality going to be realistic for me. Unless George Clooney calls - then I'm sure I'll be over the whole thing in a FLASH. x

    But in all honesty - who makes up these statistics - they must just average everything down and then come up with figures - which probably comes back to the old saying that it'll be different for everyone - which I guess is more likely.

  3. #3
    pushforward
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    los angeles
    Posts
    828
    Gender
    Male
    Generally, everybody is different. Healing happens and takes time. There is not statistics about how long it actually takes. Some people can take months or years.

    Dr. Drew Pinsky of love line says 6 months of strict NC.

    While, other people that I know in real life, some said days. Some said months, some said years. I remember my ex's cousin took 10 years to finally heal from his high school sweet heart.

    I don't think there is any rules. Just put the focus on you and try to work through it. Try not to give yourself a time limit, or you start to bring more focus on the days. Try to lose count and lose yourself in the moment.

  4. #4
    SapphireNoir10
    Bronze Member SapphireNoir10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    12,018
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    169
    I think everyone different. Theres no rule for things like it. It took me probably three months to get over my ex but it had been over for a long time anyway.

  5. #5
    waveseer
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    11,826
    Thanked
    1
    From reading what people say on here it seems like the amount of time it takes has more to do with the intensity and depth of the person's feelings than the duration of the relationship.

  6.  

Top Threads
Married man drama !
So I met this guy through work and he is really handsome and amazing . Ok maybe not so amazing anymore . I noticed that he had a ring on his finger
Child Abuse led to cheating?
Recently after going 17 days no contact I thought I would contact my ex. She was happy when I did, said she was still so upset when she thinks about
No, I will not reply, no matter what it is! Once things are done, it's done!
[ATTACH=CONFIG]11435[/ATTACH] Tu h kya ye? = Is that you? I am not going to reply him, so I am replying to it here :p Pretty weird how he
Ended three months of NC last night
What a terrible realization to wake up to first thing. Three months of NC undone with a text I don't even know if she will see. She could easily have
Running away or protecting
Hey, I was wondering this little thing. I keep skipping songs that remind me of my ex. I keep shying away from anything remotely romantic and try to
Is he rebounding?
I broke up with my boyfriend only 9 weeks ago and I just found out that 2 weeks after we split, he started seeing someone new. This girl he is now
My ex girlfriend who dumped me is trying to be friends
After 8 years, my ex girlfriend dumped me. She is 25 I am 24, since she's seemed happy and I'm pretty sure she got with other guys from her work

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My boyfriend doesn't text me as much anymore?
My boyfriend would text me everyday all day and now he won't text me first anymore or at all sometimes. Last night he stopped replying to my text so
Is she the rebound
If he leaves a 17 year relationship to date his High School Sweetheart from 32 years ago, is she a rebound ?
I want to break NC after almost 2 months to invite my ex gf to a concert
We have been in NC for almost 2 months after being together for 6 years. She stopped responding to a text i sent her. I saw she was interested in
Online dating, and why it doesn't work well for most men
We discussed this before, and for some reason people got personal and mean about it. So I have no intention of returning to this thread, but I wanted
PLEASE HELP, boyfriend talks to mom 4-5 times per day, very odd relationship....
Hi guys, Always been hesitant to post my personal business online. Anyways... here it goes... So my boyfriend is amazing...(just to throw this
Hurtful joking
My bf jokes about things that are very hurtful. Today was probably one of the most hurtful. He tried to grab my breasts and he does this a lot. He's
He dumped me and won't return my stuff
So I was seeing a guy for a short amount of time. Out of the blue....he blocked me? Fair enough, I get the message, I think it's rude but
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •