I miss my gf

I am new here.

My girlfriend and I met online almost 2 years ago - we have been in a relationship for almost 1 year. She lives in the US and I live in the UK. We try to see each other as much as is possible. We speak on the phone everyday - 3 or 4 times a day. We email, MSN, text etc.. we have lots of communication. Hers is the last voice I hear before I go to sleep and the first voice I hear when I wake up.

It is so hard. I came here today because I thought I was the only one.

I plan to move there because the company I work for is just outside of her town. However, we dont know when this will happen.

I miss her so much. How do you make it any easier?

I am new here.

 

My girlfriend and I met online almost 2 years ago - we have been in a relationship for almost 1 year. She lives in the US and I live in the UK. We try to see each other as much as is possible. We speak on the phone everyday - 3 or 4 times a day. We email, MSN, text etc.. we have lots of communication. Hers is the last voice I hear before I go to sleep and the first voice I hear when I wake up.

 

It is so hard. I came here today because I thought I was the only one.

 

I plan to move there because the company I work for is just outside of her town. However, we dont know when this will happen.

 

I miss her so much. How do you make it any easier?

Have you ever met her in person? That is the most important thing before you decide on moving. Next web cams for this type of long distance I seen on this site work for a lot of people!

welcome to enotalone lisa - i started a new thread for you so it can get more attention.

Have you ever met her in person? That is the most important thing before you decide on moving. Next web cams for this type of long distance I seen on this site work for a lot of people!

Of course I have met her in person - I work for an American company and am often in NY State so - yes we see each other as much as we can.

It has got to the stage where we just want to be together.

welcome to enotalone lisa - i started a new thread for you so it can get more attention.

Thank you

Disaster has struck now! Her phoneline at home is all messed up which means no internet connection and her cell phone has broken.

For the first time in over a year we are struggling with how to communicate.

its not right. i hate this distance sh!t

Hey Lisa,

I know how you must feel. Distance is very hard to deal with.

Hey Lisa,

Long distance relationships are so hard but it sounds like you're doing all the right things and are really invested in each other. I just got out of one myself so I do understand first-hand how awful they are.

I'm sorry her phone line is screwed up What kind of things do you "do together" when you can't be together? You can watch movies at the same time and talk about them... send her little care packages in the mail. Hand written letters.

The important thing is you know you WILL be moving out there. Try to focus on making that reality.

Hey Lisa,

Long distance relationships are so hard but it sounds like you're doing all the right things and are really invested in each other. I just got out of one myself so I do understand first-hand how awful they are.

 

I'm sorry her phone line is screwed up What kind of things do you "do together" when you can't be together? You can watch movies at the same time and talk about them... send her little care packages in the mail. Hand written letters.

 

The important thing is you know you WILL be moving out there. Try to focus on making that reality.

Yes we do write handwritten letters and cards. We send packages and flowers. But to actually 'do things together' well thats kinda hard because she owns two businesses and works a lot.

So when she gets done with work - around 5 her time (sometimes it could be 10pm ) its 10pm my time so we make time to talk then - she rushes home so its not too late for me. And she works 7 days a week - so to be honest the time we get together is precious and we just want to talk to each other.

We talk about so many things though - we can debate about politics, the current state of the economy - movies, books, poetry - anything and everything. We talk everyday -there are never any awkward silences. She has mobile MSN and I work at a computer all day so we can 'talk' the whole day too.

So when you have that level of communication its so devastating when technology fails you andyou realise how heavily you rely on it to get you through.

I know we have to make this happen and once this year is out - we will.

I almost ended things with her today.

I am feeling the strain of a long distance relationship.

How can you end something thats so right though and how can you even do that without the person in front of you.

I almost ended things with her today.

 

I am feeling the strain of a long distance relationship.

 

How can you end something thats so right though and how can you even do that without the person in front of you.

 

 

 

*hug* I'm not sure I can offer much advice, but please hang in there and take care of yourself, first of all. Take care of yourself and try to get in a logical frame of mind if you are feeling the need to reevaluate things.

 

It can be really hard... sometimes I feel the same way, that I would not be having negative feelings if we were actually together. Knowing that other people (like you) feel the same way helps me to know that maybe it is just the distance. I know it can be really really hard though. Hope you feel better! and maybe treat yourself to a relaxing or fun evening to take your mind off of things.

I ended it tonight.

It has become way too hard for both of us.

I feel terrible about this and you are right - I know, for the most part, its the miles, the time difference and the lack of communication and physical contact.

I love her so much but it hurts so much too.

I'm so sorry it ended up this way for you. It must have been a very difficult decision to make, and I really wish you the best.

You know, when we got together, she told me a long distance relationship would be hard. I remember telling her how hard could loving someone who loves you right back be.

I now know what she meant.

She said to me tonight that she doesnt want to lose what we have. She said its far too precious to walk away from. She is right about that. But how do you go on when it's so hard?

How do you keep your sanity?

I love her so much. I just can not deal with the pain of it all anymore.

I am in Germany this week on business. I have done a tremendous amount of thinking - about myself, about her and about us and this situation.

What we have is worth too much to throw away. I will need to find a way to deal with the heartache of the miles, the distance and the different time zones.

Its do-able. I guess it depends how much you both mean to each other.

We talked and we have put a lot of things into perspective. We both know what we want and need from this relationship and have both decided that we cant just walk away from this.

We have a plan in place - and once this year is out we are going to make some changes in order that we can be togther.

I guess I was in panic mode there for a while and didnt think I could deal with it all. I know I can deal with everything I need to deal with - simply because I am in love with her and she feels the same. And when you find a love like this, you should let it pass you by.

Phew!

My ex and I went through this. She broke up with me because she couldn't stand the distance anymore. It was too painful for her. Then later on she wanted to get back together and she said she would find the strength to stand the distance.

But it was never the same. I was never able to trust her as much anymore. *sigh

I hope things are different for you though. It'll take a lot of communication and patience.

Lisa, i know exactly how you are feeling. I actually ended it w/ my ex gf b/c the long distance was just too much. I was young and I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but now I know. I am just not fit for long distance. Long distance only works if one partner is willing to move the other in given time frame. It's hard.

Yes it is hard. It's very hard.

We both need more than the telephone (and all the ways we are forced to communicate)... and that's not always possible.

We are kinda hanging in there at the moment. We are going to seeing each other again very soon : ) so that will help. Some days are ok and other days are not so ok.

Yesterday I had a bad day - it happens. You just have to persevere if it's what you want.

This kills me. My and my ex-girlfriend just went through this about a month ago. She couldn't take the distance and ended it because not seeing me drive her into a depression. She found herself expecting me to be there every time she had a bad day. Talking just wasn't enough for her anymore and the stress made her end it. Hopefully we get back together. I love her more than anything, and I planned on moving at the end of next year, after I finish school and save up enough money. We haven't spoken in two weeks, she wanted space, so I'm giving it to her. I can't just be friends right now, after everything I felt. It's too hard to talk to her without knowing she's mine. I just want to try again...

Hey..

Yesterday was Christmas Day and over the last week we both said that all we wanted to do was spend the holidays togther. We couldnt so we had to make the most of what we had going on. She spent some of the day with her family and I spent some of the day with my family. We arranged that we would have our time in the evening. She was sending me messages all day telling me that she was just going through the motions and that she would rather be with me. We spoke on the phone in the middle of the day briefly and she told me about her day so far and how much better it would have been if we had been together. I also told her the same things. How my Christmas would have been fantastic if she had been with me..

So.. I get home in the evening and I call her as arranged. She tells me that she missed me and how today of all days we should have been togther. I agreed with her. I told her that I missed her so much and that I thought about her all day and how I would have preferred to be with her. We both said the same things we had said during the day.

However, suddenly she tells me that the conversation is trying and I am negative and miserable. I didnt know where that came from because we had both said exactly the same things to each other.

I asked her to tell me if thats how she really felt about me - because for me, no matter what we talk about, I never feel anything negative towards her. If she is down one day, I listen. If she is having a bad day, I listen. I am the same with her no matter what she wants to talk about. I am there for her in every way. I ask her to look at the bigger picture of who I am and what I am about and I ask her if she really feels this about me - she said no.

She then tells me that she doesnt want the negativity and she only wants the good positive bits.. I tell her that thats not real life. And surely you have take the rough with the smooth.

She has never spoken like this before.

Then she tells me that she is feeling emotionally dead and has a lot to think about. I am not sure what this means because when I asked her to explain this to me she again tells me I am being negative.

I am very confused because our conversation was no different to the conversations we usually have. We talked about our days and we talked about how we miss each other - we BOTH said how we miss each other and that our days were not actually that good without each other.

I asked her how come she can say all of these things and I just listen and I dont say anything negative about her but when I say the same things I get accused of being trying, negative and miserable.

I am not sure I am understanding what happened. We ended the conversation with her saying that she needed to think and she didnt really know how she felt. There was no longer the loving tone in her voice that is usually there.

I hung up.

I felt weird because we have never ended a conversation like that.

So.. I called her back. I didnt want it to end like that. She said she was pleased that I had called her back and that she is so much in love with me and that she misses me so much and we shouldnt ever end a conversation like that and how she wishes she was with me etc..

I say the same - I tell her how much I love her and how much I wanted to be with her - she just sighs and we say good night after she tells me that maybe we will talk tomorrow.

I dont know what just happened.

My ex and I used to go through things like that. LDRs can sometimes sap so much energy from you that you just don't have the energy to stay emotionally involved anymore. Usually a day of space fixes things.

She was just having a bad day - Christmas without her brother - he died two years ago.

A long distance relationship is made harder when you cant be there physically when your partner needs you.

I just wanted to say - I got a web cam the other day and what a difference it makes to be able to see each other as we talk. I have no idea why we didnt think of this before!

So if you are in this situation, get a webcam - its worth it.

I am really concerned.

I thought everything was ok and that if we loved each other we could combat anything..

The last week or so has been quite difficult. Less communication, awkward silences, no 'I love You'

I love her so much - I am in love with her and she would tell me the same thing. Lately though, there doesnt seem to be any kindness in her tone. We we talking yesterday and I had to point out that her tone was coming accross as really mean - she said she was just human.

I know we need to see each other and that the miles and time zones takes its toll sometimes - but what does kindness towards the person you profess to love cost? Not much.

I dont seem to be able to read her anymore.

I know that things often get misconstrued when you have to communicate the way we have to sometimes but usually I can feel her, feel what she is feeling and feel her when something is wrong - but this time I cant feel her.

I have isecurities because of things that have happened in my past which she is completely aware of and has been helping me to work through. I just wonder now if its my insecurities that have become an issue for her.

We have always talked about everything - you know if there are any issues, we will talk about them until we come to a resolution. This time I think its the things that are being left unsaid that are the problem.

I am quite confused.

I have no expectations anymore.

I am sorry to read this update on your situation!

It sounds to me like you're being very understanding and giving, and she's taking. I could be totally wrong but it sounds to me like she's handling the distance badly and pushing you away without actually wanting to. The key thing that stuck out to me in your post was that when you hung up after a negative goodbye and called her back, she was really glad that you had called her back (and changed her tune, I presume). I suspect that between saying goodbye and you calling again she regretted pushing you away (this is something I have done myself and know all too well.)

It just sounds like she wants you to be strong and superhuman for her, when you're as human as she says she is herself.

I also completely understand how you feel about love being able to combat everything and I wish that's how reality was. Also you're right about having to take the rough with the smooth! I think you actually posted that in my old thread.

So, if she was glad that you called her back, and you're being more of a giver than she is right now, do you think perhaps holding back a little bit would make her appreciate you more, or see that it's a 2 way street with the supporting each other? I'm not talking mind games, but just giving her some time to step back from you and realise what's important. If she loves you as much as you love her, she might realise her mistakes.

Anyway, hope you are feeling at least a little bit better than before.