"grass is greener syndrome" reconciliation

I would like to know how many of you went thru this kind of break up were the woman gets "confused" do to immaturity and inexperience in relationships. I would like to know how many of you actually got your EX back and in what time period.

And even if they do come back (after they had their heart broken from the next guy along) how can you trust them they wont go back to that guy if he opens the door for them!?

Well I don't know I guess this is what happened to me. It really is tough to say. As far as her coming back not yet and I can easily say at this point in time if it were to happen I would probably not get back together with her. Not because I don't love her but relationships are all about timing and now that she left to find greener grass I wander what is out there myself. Not because I was looking but I was kicked off my lawn so I'm looking for another.

I guess it really depends on the dumpee at the point in time if the dumper comes back. In my case my ex is with someone else and as bad as it may sound I couldn't take her back unless we had both experienced other things and realized what we had together was special. At this point in time I've been single since she left so yea I hope I don't get put in a situation where she tries to come back to me anytime soon.

Grass is greener can be seen as selfish by a lot of people. The dumper wants what is best for them. Try not to see it as that and try to get to a point where you can find something better for yourself.

I agree with testcase. I'm also going to add that it depends on the dumpers situation with their current partner. If they dumped their partner to realize that you were better then it's worth another shot. BUT if they got dumped and came running back to you, would you really want them back knowing you were second best?

My first ex did this. When our situation became serious, he got scared and eventually said that he wasn't sure what he wanted. I let him waiver for about 4 months. Seeing him whenever he wanted... All the things you do for someone you love. Eventually, I couldn't deal with the fickleness anymore. I left completely and started dating someone new. He came back quick, proposed to me and everything. But his behavior during the time I wanted him back ruined our friendship, so, we couldn't move forward.

NC or extremely LC.

yeah, grass is greener is exactly what happened to me...or so i think. my ex gf of 2.5 years dumped me during mid-september. at the time she said she "fell out of love with me" or the "no passion", "I love you but not in love with you"(which is tell-tale GiG mentality) excuse...

...she's a youngin, 17 to be exact, which is typical of GiG syndrome.

...also she rebounded with a guy for less than a month before she broke up with him...as far as i know she "just didn't connect with him"...

...the whole time she has been mean, and spiteful towards me, constantly lying to my friends...online revenge/jealousy games which is very VERY weird considering we broke up on a great note...now that in itself is not GiG symptoms...that's just my ex being a little btch, but when we do contact each other(it's always me) for extremely LC she will always respond....never once did i ever get completely ignored.

i'm sure i'm leaving out important details but that's the gist of my tale: girl dumps old guy, girl gets new guy, girl dumps new guy, girl treats old guy like trash...yep.

Bump... beginning a GIGS reconciliation right now. She wants to jump back in fast and im kind of lost and stressed out about if I can trust her. Am I just a crutch for her low self esteem?

Not necessarily, and I think posters here are being incredibly cynical.

Sometimes people get into a comfort zone, and seek that initial, "honeymoon phase" excitement again.

So they break up with their SO and try to find it.

Sometimes they do find it, and sometimes, they learn to appreciate what they had had, and that's when they may come back.

Think about it...how many of us have had moments in our pasts where we gave up something good, only to realize later that doing so was a mistake, and we wished we had a second chance?

It doesn't mean we're bad people, it means we made an error of judgment, which happens to everyone at multiple points in their lives.

My bestfriend left her husband, and she wanted something better. She never found that better guy. And she is my bestfriend, and it is a selfish act in my mind. Things werent perfect, but they sought perfection, so they put this person through all this hurt and expect to walk right back in? She wanted her ex back because she met jerks, its plain and simple. If they met anyone who was just as nice as us, they would have been happy, because they got the nice guy, but a new experience and spark that was lacking in the past relationship (until that also dies out and they realize thats life). When that ends, they will also search you out... yeah, like they should get a free pass again.

Some of us always go through doubt. And some who are more experienced now they have a good thing, and there are those who have less experience but dont allow the thought of something better to destroy what connection they have (i know i can find better, we always can dream of better, best to me is a girl that looks like shakira, has sex with me like my second ex, likes history, likes comics, likes horror movies... but you know what... i am not interested in finding her, i am building something with someone and i intend to keep making it grow).

Also, meeting someone new sparks them to think there is better. I have had many women hit on me, and past ex's who were more compatable with me contacting me. But I am in love, i love them and all their faults, because that is there personal stamp. I look forward to creating our own interests and compatability in the future. I sit back and think... wow, this girl loves me... out of so many millions of people... we found each other... thats not magical to many people anymore, but to me it was, and i always told my ex that.

Only if both of us refuse to love and work on it.. then yes... it would be REALLY EASY to think the grass will be greener, because it will be.

My first ex did this. When our situation became serious, he got scared and eventually said that he wasn't sure what he wanted. I let him waiver for about 4 months. Seeing him whenever he wanted... All the things you do for someone you love. Eventually, I couldn't deal with the fickleness anymore. I left completely and started dating someone new. He came back quick, proposed to me and everything. But his behavior during the time I wanted him back ruined our friendship, so, we couldn't move forward.

This completely happened to one of my best friends. He wanted to party and enjoy the single life, but as soon as she started seeing another guy, he was legitimately stalking her and even gave her a diamond ring. She was actually considering it until she found out that even after proposing, he was going out and partying with other girls when he promised his behavior had changed. (This is a really good example of what not to do to get your ex back, by the way. Change your behavior, and don't stalk.)

Not sure what you're exactly asking here, but to me GIGS can be two things...1.) they think they'll be more happy with a fresh man/woman they met. or 2.) They think they're just going to be more happy without you "tying them down" in general. In my case, it was number two, there wasn't another man. My gf just felt at the time she would be more happy without me. Turns out she was much less happy without me, and she came back...after almost 6 months of total NC.

I don't have anything to add but thagator , I really like your third signature statement!!!!

Not sure what you're exactly asking here, but to me GIGS can be two things...1.) they think they'll be more happy with a fresh man/woman they met. or 2.) They think they're just going to be more happy without you "tying them down" in general. In my case, it was number two, there wasn't another man. My gf just felt at the time she would be more happy without me. Turns out she was much less happy without me, and she came back...after almost 6 months of total NC.

Hey man, im not familiar with your story, so you two are currently reunited?

The definitive thread on this subject:

Look for Zorba's posts.

Hey man, im not familiar with your story, so you two are currently reunited?

Yes sir, been back together for about a month and so far, so good.

Yes sir, been back together for about a month and so far, so good.

That effin rocks!

Well... I loved a lady so much and treated her well. Had a child and became an excellent father too. Got laid off and she basically forgot who I was in a matter of weeks and everything went south. Thats a summary but many classical GIGS were displayed.

She admits that I was a great person and might not find someone like me again. Its been over a year and I still have problems recovering.... from all the manipulative tactics she used on me. I never had a chance to date again.

From what I heard, it seems she has capitolized on everything I helped her with. She parties alot, looks like a million bucks (always dresses top notch when we exchange our child) and anytime we have to interact... she treats me like dirt without a single ounce of respect. I simply have a conscious and cannot treat her bad in return. To me she acts like a wild teenager.

She seems to act if she made the greatest choice by leaving which hurts. She is also considering giving up custody of our child fully to me. What hurts the most is that she probably treats a jerk right now a million times better than she treated me using the way I treated her as her example on how to treat the jerk.

My life has gotten alot better but I haven't been able to date since. I been shot down about 13 times and when I did have one (which coincidentally on my ex's and I annerverary), I was stood up which destroyed my heart for good.