Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: I don't know how to have sex on top.

  1. #1
    babybear
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    373
    Gender
    Female

    I don't know how to have sex on top.

    This is something that has become really upsetting for me. I am female and I am just incapable of having sex on top. I move all out of sync, it feels wrong, it's exhausting, it hurts my legs and I just generally don't seem to have the knack of it. Please give me tips on how to at least move in sync or generally what to do. I feel bad in bed.

  2. #2
    astaro
    Bronze Member astaro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Age
    36
    Posts
    315
    Gender
    Male
    first of all dont feel like your bad in bad (yea i know, easier said then done).
    secondly its not just you, there are two people who need to move in sync. i don't know how long you have been with your partner, sometimes it happens over night and others it takes a while to find the right rhythm for both sides.

    try looking at it like a game rather then a chore. tell him that "tonight your ontop" and just play with it. try this and that, see what you enjoy. boss him around into not moving if you want to experiment and his moving is confusing you (guys love being bossed around even though most wont admit it ) can try being with your face to him or with your back to him, ask him to raise his pelvic as it creates more clitoral stimulation when the women is on top facing the man (though its rather tiring for the man if he isn't used to it). can try it with him sitting up (a very sensual position for me anyway) if you approach it with fear you wont find what your looking for, you will just find more uncertainty. be confident about yourself and your body. make sure you talk to your partner about this. communication is key.

    you should also ask yourself if it is really important to you, some people just don't click with some positions and there is no shortage of options. sex in my opinion is all about fun, some things are more fun, others are less fun, no two people are 100% compatible and some times certain things just don't work out for both.

  3. #3
    purpleduckie
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    28
    Posts
    1,267
    Gender
    Female
    start slow and get him to help (use his hands to hold you up+give you a rhytmth).

  4. #4
    Silvery
    Bronze Member Silvery's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Malaysia
    Age
    32
    Posts
    123
    Gender
    Female
    My BF gave me instruction on speed, depth and timing and he held his hands at my hips to keep me moving in sync. But god, its so tiring and my knees hurt. I see the need to go on weight lifting with my legs after my first time ontop, hahahaha. Training it to have more endurance.

  5. #5
    Sky_Ronin
    Member Sky_Ronin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    156
    With time you'll get the hang of being on top. Perhaps some lower body excercises will increase the strength in your legs and increase your stamina. It's not the end of the world :b. I hope you'll be successful on top.

  6. #6
    idls
    Member idls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    106
    Gender
    Female
    just be VERY comfortable with the person and try other things, I wasn't good on top until I really fell in love with my boyfriend, and became very comfortable to look weird in different positions and stuff on top :P good luck!

  7. #7
    cat_lady
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    727
    Thanked
    1
    What really helps me sometimes is to support myself with my arms (kind of like push up position if that makes sense). It takes away some of the pressure of your knees and gives you better control since you can use the arms for added support.

    As an added bonus, if you hate doing push-ups and want to tone up your upper body, this will do this nicely as well.

  8. #8
    PsychGirly
    Platinum Member PsychGirly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    LOS ANGELES
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,252
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    You mentioned that your legs & knees hurt. Are you in squatting position? Cuz that can get really tiring if you haven't gotten the hang of it yet.

    Try just sitting on him, with your legs comfortably to his sides, & just lean a little forward and slowly move your body, & tell him to help you out so that you can get the hang of what you should do. There's different ways of moving your body when you're on top, but until you're not comfortable with the actual feeling of being the dominant one, you can't really experiment.

  9. #9
    girl68

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Beatutiful Britsh Columbia
    Age
    32
    Posts
    1,470
    Gender
    Female
    Up, down up down, up down, around in a circle, around in a circle, grind: front to back, front to back.

    Does it feel wrong or not good? Cause that's 2 difference cases. Hopefully you're riding a guy you're very cormfortable with- that makes all the difference.

  10.  

Top Threads
Boyfriend Forgot We Had Kinky Sex?
I donít know how else to say this, but my boyfriend doesnít remember that we have had kinky sex. Iím incredibly hurt by this and trying to sort out
Not sure what to think of message I received from bf?
So I have been dating my boyfriend for a year. It's a fairly serious relationships (early 30's) and we are moving in together this summer. We often
Safe Hookups Possible?
Ok so I'm almost 2months out of a long term relationship, and all i want is a friend with benefits or booty call. (Yes I am on birth control and
Long Term Sex
Hi All, I'm hoping I can get some advise on this - so apologies for length. One of the issues is I don't really have anyone in my circle I can
What do you say
Okay.. I'm a virgin what do you say or do when you just had sex with a guy you like because I don't want to screw up by saying something dumb or make
Could he be gay?
I have a strange feeling that my bf of 4 yrs may be bi sexual.or gay. I have no concrete evidence just a few things that snap my head back and make
ing buddies?
I met my friends brother, he texted me and we hung out ; i know their mother who adores me my friend, she lives alone down the block from me and her
Featured Threads
Completely Confused? What does this mean?
Hi All- I was dating a guy for almost a year. We had a pretty great relationship- Things got serious. We told each other we loved each other. Even
Boyfriend told me he couldn't afford holiday, next day books one to Thailand
Basically my boyfriend of 6 months is $40k in debt (I'm debt-free). We had talked about going to Vietnam and he said he needed 6 months to save up
Not a regular here, I have a few questions...
I'll try to make this brief. Been in a relationship (23F) with a man (35) for 5 years. Typical in the beginning, though I always wondered how he
Weed or Me
Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months - he is 31 and I am 24. He has recently started smoking weed every night and I don't really
Is He Hiding from Me?
Hi All, Need some advice from those that are familiar with social media apps such as Instagram.. I'v been friends with this guy for about a
Red flag in friendship
I've been through a terrible first break up and was in a lot of pain. I was physically and mentally sick due to the stress of the break up but I'm
I broke hard NC after 7 months (B I G M I S T A K E)
No surprise, I'm absolutely devastated. She pretty much blew me off like I was a piece of trash. At first I was happy because she actually responded
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •