We keep looking at each other...

There's this woman at work, and we're both very shy. Last week, we both kept looking at each other. Each of us being caught by the other one.

Thing is, we'd both look away like a couple of kids, haha. More than a few times, we'd both look at the exact same moment, and then turn away.

Anyways, this happened the whole week pretty much, and then on Friday she looks me dead in the eyes as she passes me, and I froze.

I really think that I messed up when I did that. I mean, I've only said "Hi" to her a few times, but that was it. I WANT to talk with her, coversate, even get her name, but for whatever reason...I just can't bring myself to do it.

I have no issues whatsoever talking with anyone, beautiful women, etc., but once I'm attracted to a woman, I turn into this shy little kid pretty much. It's sad actually. I've been through some bad relationships, and maybe I'm afraid to be hurt again?? I don't think it's this, because I'd actually love to have a relationship again. I'm just throwing that out there as a subconscious possibility as to why I might be this way.

The help I need though, is to find my courage and approach her before it's too late...if it's not already.

Thanks everyone.

Youd better smile quick or else shes gonna be here with, "I keep looking at this guy and I don't know what he thinks of me." After the smile phase move up to "hello." Once you guys have warmed up to each other ask how the weekend went. This opens the door to, "You sound like you know how to have a good time, we should go to........" Take it slow and get past the eye boning. Good luck

Sounds great! She probably likes you. Imagine once you start dating, there will be no reason to be shy. Get over your shyness and go for it.

Thanks for the responses. CharlesF, when you say "go for it," how should I "go for it??" Sorry to ask such a "stupid" question.

I was thinking tomorrow, I would ask if she'd like to join us (me, the people I sit with) for lunch. She always goes out to her car at breaktime, because she is new and doesn't know anyone. I'm new as well, but have been there a few months now.

Would this be going for it??

Mr. Hutz...

LMAO about the eye boning. Do you think I still have a shot, even though I "shot her down" on Friday? Today I saw her looking a few times, but not like she was last week. I imagine she's slowly giving up on me, and/or thinks that I'm not interested in her, but man am I ever...

Thanks again!

Make an excuse. "I wanted to ask you out for lunch last week but I was so swamped, got time to get a coffee? its on me." There you have it; friendly, innocent, excusable, and inviting. I know easier said, its the courage and timing now.

Yeah, I gotta get the courage and the timing down. Mostly the courage, though.

It's the whole reason I'm in this mess, and I've been kicking myself over the opportunities I missed/didn't take when they presented themselves.

I agree with the others. Have to go out there on a leap of faith and hope for the best. What you said about her being new and not knowing many people makes a very good opportunity for you to introduce yourself.

If she says no, you are in the same boat your'e in right now right? Except you've moved on from her to the next, and can polish your approach. She might say yes, confusing you even more. LOL! Since most of the time we calculate rejection.

Haha, you guys are great!! Honestly though, I don't know what I'm "afraid" of. I'm not afraid to hear "No/I have a man/You're ugly/etc." Haha...

Maybe it's a fear of success, if that makes sense?? Maybe I can't believe that there's a good possibility that she is in fact interested as well??

I already told myself though, that if I don't go ahead and do something about this tomorrow, then I will let it go, and stop leading her on with me making eye contact, etc.

I know that I have to do something about this soon, because like I said, it might already be too late.

Man, I hope it's not.

Ive read that if someone makes eye contact for longer than two seconds they can be interested. Multiple stares is a green light. For fear of being labeled a es-el-you-tee, shes probably being reserved. Read some of the frustrating ladies threads about brick heads who don't approach, youll be amazed.

Wow...Really?? I didn't even think of looking up about how women are frustrated with brick heads such as myself, haha.

Thing is, she is very shy/reserved because of her culture, etc.

However, with the eye contact, we have definitely locked eyes more than once, and obviously there have been multiple stares as well.

I know that I NEED to approach her tomorrow, but I feel as though it could sadly be at the "weird" phase. What I mean, is that I've taken so long to approach her, that it'll probably be weird for her/me to do it now.

What do you think about that?? Do you understand where I'm coming from Lionel??

Yes I do. Whats weird is the mystery of what might happen. Approaching will wash that all away. I mean, you dont even have to verbalize it. Write her a note. Or make a reason to ask her for something like a stapler, and when you return it find something to comment on. "I like your shirt", "You smell good today" etc. I feel like a con man telling you this stuff LOL! Just be yourself. Ive done all kinds of wacky things to flirt.

Haha, nah, you're great!! Get this though, I lost my whole "game" for lack of a better word. There was a time when I KNEW what I was doing.

After my last breakup, I just went into this shell, and haven't until recently, wanted to even try to date, etc.

Now I do, but I'm lost. The whole stapler thing was what I wanted to do today, but I had no confidence to pull it off. I just think in my head that they "know" and can "see your BS excuses" just to talk with them. I don't know why I think this way, but I do.

I know I shouldn't, but I do. For example, I ask her for the stapler or whatever, and I can just see the woman thinking "Oh, that's obvious" and just not giving me any points or whatever.

Weird, but true.

believe it or not some girls like to see what creative BS you can come up with to ask them out. The key is to do it without cheese. Don't be so nuerotic about it and act like shes just one of the guys, except hold your gas and obscene jokes.

LMFAO! Hahahaha...I'll definitely "go for it" tomorrow. I will keep you posted.

Thanks, Lionel (and everyone else)!!

There was a girl at work who I used to always accidentally catch eye contact with too. Very pretty and I could never tell if she was looking at me or just in my general direction... being generally shy I never said a word to her, despite some close run ins where perhaps she was startled and said a few words to me (I probably came off as snobbing her, but I was just more startled and speechless than her).

Don't leave it too long cause now that girl AVOIDS eye contact with me. She must think I'm a total whack job or that I dislike her, because she avoids me like the plague. I've since become more social in the office, yet she's still the ONLY person I've never had a real (non-forced) conversation with.

Roberto34 I am a woman and I have a crush on a man at work. It has been going on for months and whenever he gets two feet in front of me he acts so weird. He has walked by my department several times and glances over not totally looks at me. I was brave and went up to his office a couple of weeks ago to ask him if his son is the little boy I saw in his office a few weeks prior and he said yes. I don't think he is with a woman. But I walked away from his office and he had a big smile on his face. A few days later I was walking to the bathroom and was on my cell phone and he was walking to the bathroom as well from the opposite directions. When he saw me he gave the strangest look and kind of raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. It made me think he is not interested and to forget about it. What I am trying to say is please talk to her especially if she does like you. She could get the impression that you don't like her if you get shy when she is near and you can't talk to her. You will be so happy you did when she says yes!

Here's the update everyone:

I go in today, and she's right accross from me in her dept. So I "went for it." Haha.

Me: Hey, how are you today?

Her: Good (with a slight smile)

Me: So what's your name??

Her: told me her name

Me: Oh, I'm Roberto34. Nice meeting you.

And that was the end. I wanted to talk with her all day, but she's training, and her trainer sits right accross from her. I don't wanna distract her/etc. while she's doing her job. Especially since she's new. However, I'm a little upset with myself, because we only talked that little bit at the very start of the day, and nothing else during the other parts of the day.

She looked at me a few times again today, at least that I know of. Tomorrow I wanna talk with her again, and I hope to have more of a convo, as well as talk a few times.

Thoughts/suggestions are greatly appreciated! Thanks everyone!

Roberto34, I think I may just understand what you're going through. It took a few minutes for me to ponder about what you said about not being afraid of her perse, yet you keep retreating into your "shell". Is it that you feel...unwilling to let the princess through the gate while a siege is underway...that you're afraid that your self is exposed to the elements when she's near...that others will peak into the window to your soul that was intended only for her? If so, then this may just be a hesitation from you to act out your feelings in public, and workplaces are not exactly famous for their relaxing atmosphere. Solution: Talk to her OUTSIDE of the building.

I hope I'm right, but I've been wrong before.

Hey Authentic Author, or AA for short, haha. Yeah, I don't like talking when other people are around that I don't trust/know/etc.

I'm very private about my life, etc., and I just don't like other people around when I talk about things alot of the times. I never used to give a damn about others, but for whatever reason, I do care about my privacy/private situations.

The only thing though...How do I get her alone/outside the building?? She's just like I am...stays at her work area all day, and just does her job. Having said that, there's lots of people around her. I know that I talked with her this morning because there wasn't many people around at that exact moment.

I don't know why I'm "worried" that people will see us talking, moreso me talking to her. I guess that it's because it IS at work, and there's alot of people that like to talk junk/start things/etc.

I wish that I could go to her tomorrow and just talk with her freely. That'd be great...I get a little jealous when I see the married Engineer talking to her and making her smile. I wish I could be the one talking with her and making her smile...Not jealous, but maybe envious of how he can just talk with her like that.

You did exactly what I would have did. Introducing yourself quickly and letting her return to her duties is good. Now you know her name and can really go from there. If you want to get to know her ask ,"Whens your break?" Depending on how she responds you could offer to buy her a coke or something, leading to more conversation. Good progress!

Thanks, Mr. Hutz!

Oh, the thing is, we have the same Lunch break and afternoon break. She always goes out to her car at Lunch, and lately just stays at her work area during the last break of the day.

I want to ask her tomorrow if she'd like to, she can join us for lunch. Me, and the people I sit with is what I mean. However, I got a feeling she'll probably say "no" to this. Just a gut feeling, not a low self-esteem thing at all. But it's whatever, I'll put it out there.

Thanks for the kind words, man. I told myself that if I didn't say anything today, that I would let it go, and stop looking at her so that I don't lead her on and just annoy myself any longer. However, I did it, so I can go from there. So what do you think about me just saying that, and not being able to say anything else throughout the day?? Thanks again!!

Introducing yourself and getting her name in return is a good start. Least shows her that you have some interest in her (why else would you introduce yourself?) Asking her to join you for lunch of a good idea. I'd definitely ask her that.

Thanks for the response, Multiplicity. I'm def. interested in her, and I hope I can pull this off, haha.

Hey, Why dont you ask her out for a cup of coffee or some lunch? It would be the perfect way to get her away from that work atmosphere.

EDIT: Multiplicity beat me to it