I am scared of myself

I came on here hoping to distract myself. I have been walking around my house like a emotionless zombie. I can't feel and that is enough to drive any hope out of my heart.

I feel empty. I want to hurt myself to feel something.

I want this all to end.

I don't know if this is the Abilify I just started causing all this but I can't help what I am feeling... or lack of feeling.

It's taking every once of me not to go get a knife right now.

EVERYTHING.

Why do I have to feel like this, this is very much worse then what I was feeling before... I AM SCARED OF MYSELF right now.

I don't even want to post this, I hate feeling weak like this and whining like this

I promise you know nothing is that bad you have to end your life! There is always's a way out of things talk to someone go out for a weekend away some place you really like.

Write a list of all your good memories have a night in with sum hot choccy a film n you treat yourself.

Go out with a gang of girlies have a good time.

Just remember there are people out there who love you and think about them what would happen to them if you decided to end your life.

Smile look in the mirror and smile.

Focus your mind on somthing write a book, join a gym, read a book, draw maybe just keep yourself busy try somthing new maybe a dance club or pottery club just meet new people forget aboutt he bad things focus on the good things.

Your worth it.

Hi, I have read some of the advice you have given others on this site, and I am sure the people you have helped would all want to help you now too.

It is ok to ask for help - it is not weak or whining. It makes you a stronger person that you can post on here and ask for help than not doing that.

Do you have a friend you can call? Or are you having therapy and have a therapist you can talk to?

I think we all feel empty and hopeless at times. Just know that this feeling will pass. Do something nice for yourself today, and take some time to sit somewhere welcoming and close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Then think of a time when you were feeling something and where you were feeling good. And remember how that felt.

Big hug

Angel...think of your son sweetie. You're situation is NOT hopeless. You have a PLAN with your sister.

Now c'mon...talk to me more. What's going on right now. Where is your son?

I feel so cold and not in control right now.

I am crying and laughing both hysterically.

I don't feel like I have anyone really. I don't have but one friend besides my abusive jerk of a husband. He'll be home in a hour.

I am alone all the time, well besides my son.

I physically hurt everyday because of my disability and I am just tired of the pain.

I don't normally feel like this but the doctor put me on some new meds and I feel like I am losing it and can't.... I just can't

I feel so cold and not in control right now.

I am crying and laughing both hysterically.

 

I don't feel like I have anyone really. I don't have but one friend besides my abusive jerk of a husband. He'll be home in a hour.

 

I am alone all the time, well besides my son.

 

I physically hurt everyday because of my disability and I am just tired of the pain.

I don't normally feel like this but the doctor put me on some new meds and I feel like I am losing it and can't.... I just can't

Angel...WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?

YOU don't hurt everyone because of your disability. Do people with cancer hurt others because they have cancer? No. It's because you are in an abusive relationship. STOP believing his lies. Now where is your sister? Can you call her?

Angel...think of your son sweetie. You're situation is NOT hopeless. You have a PLAN with your sister.

 

Now c'mon...talk to me more. What's going on right now. Where is your son?

Angel...WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?

Both sleeping

Angel...listen to me...GO WAKE UP YOUR SISTER RIGHT NOW.......

"Sometimes when you lose yourself, it is really just as well"

"Sometimes when you lose yourself, it is really just as well"

STOP IT. Think of your son. You are NOT going to leave him with that ass H@le husband of yours. Go up stairs and wake up your sister and show her this thread. Please...will you do that Angel? You don't have to SAY a word. Just show her this thread.......

No

My husband will be home in a hour and then he can hurt me more with his words when I try to explain to him why I am crying and hurting.

No

 

My husband will be home in a hour and then he can hurt me more with his words when I try to explain to him why I am crying and hurting.

Wake up your sister BEFORE your sister gets home.

Angel...your sister can probably calm you down BEFORE your husband gets home to hurt you.

You HAVE to do something sweetie.

C'mon....I know Angel, and Angel is stronger than this.

Angel,

Listen to Allie, get your sister up NOW! You do not need to be alone....do it.

You have a great sister and son to look out for....

No

...........

Angel...c'mon...stick with me here babe.

Go get your sister. PLEASE.

What's gonna happen when your son wakes up Angel? He's gonna look for his Mommy....

Angel, if you do something dumb, you can't unring that bell. What about your son's future...who will help him?

Talk to us Angel....

I just want to vent for a minute.

I hate my life. I hate that I am losing everything. I hate that I have to leave. I hate that the person I loved turned into a monster. I hate that after I had my son I became disabled with this disease.

I HATE MY PAIN. It's everyday. When I asked the pain doctor for something just a little stronger to take it away I was told no.

I poured my heart out to my general doctor and he did nothing and then when I called yesterday to tell him how I was feeling he basically said he didn't want to deal with it!

I am sick of all this ****

I want my life back and guess what??? I can never have it back. EVER.

Angel,

You have a plan, A way out with your boy and your sister...don't give up on that....don't throw away a beautiful life in the future.

But I don't want that plan. I wanted the life I had before the disease and pain took everything away. It did, it ate everything up that I had. I can't even play with my son the way normal mothers can.

I am in bed all day

Vent on...but remember this. There are other Doctors out there.

How much pain has TOV had to endure? She struggles everyday, but pulls through.

If she can, you can.

I just want to vent for a minute.

 

I hate my life. I hate that I am losing everything. I hate that I have to leave. I hate that the person I loved turned into a monster. I hate that after I had my son I became disabled with this disease.

I HATE MY PAIN. It's everyday. When I asked the pain doctor for something just a little stronger to take it away I was told no.

 

I poured my heart out to my general doctor and he did nothing and then when I called yesterday to tell him how I was feeling he basically said he didn't want to deal with it!

 

I am sick of all this ****

 

I want my life back and guess what??? I can never have it back. EVER.

Angel, wake your sister up. Think how much she loves you and would want to help you. If your sister was feeling how you do now, you would want to help her.

And keep talking on here. x

Angel, wake your sister up. Think how much she loves you and would want to help you. If your sister was feeling how you do now, you would want to help her.

 

And keep talking on here. x

Exactly...it's how we survive, by helping each other.