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Thread: The ball is in her court... right?

  1. #1
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    The ball is in her court... right?

    Hey guys, been reading some posts in here for a while and I like the idea of getting different opinions. Here's the short version of the situation.

    I met this girl a few weeks ago and we really hit it off, an obvious attraction between both of us and plenty of flirting. A few days later I talked to her best friend who revealed she has a boyfriend. So after hearing this I talk to the girl again and we went to go hang out with some of my friends. She revealed that she did have a boyfriend who lives a couple hours away but he doesn't mean anything. I guess he's an alchoholic and she doesn't even know how she ended up with him. Again though, when we hung out there was more flirting and she made it more obvious that she was really into me. I know I'm not delusional because all my friends agreed that she was flirting like crazy. Fairly confident in my situation I waited a while to see if she called me. A week went by with no call so I decided to call her myself.

    I asked her what she was doing that weekend and she seemed to pause for a second and then continue to say she was going out with some other people, followed by other plans on the next day. I'm pretty sure she was lying and was actually going up to see her boyfriend, I won't explain why but let's just say I'm pretty confident this is the case and she was trying to hide it from me.

    Anyways I haven't talked to her since and it's been a few days, I noticed that she hasn't ever called me to hang out. Bothered by this I have been going back and forth trying decide the best time to call her again. I don't want to see desperate but I don't want to avoid calling her for the wrong reasons. So what it comes down to is whether or not calling her again to do something would make me look like I'm chasing a little too much? What do you guys think? I'm very interested in this girl, she seems really cool and I know she's not a * * * * (which is a rarity these days).

    I want to emphasize when I actually see or talk to her it's insanely obvious she likes me, it almost feels like she's playing hard to get.

    Edit: She told me that she is tired of having to take care of her boyfriend and he doesn't mean anything to her. I felt like she made it clear that she would end it with him if she met someone she could have a real relationship with.
    Last edited by likesAdvice; 10-20-2008 at 03:04 PM.

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    If she cheats on her boyfriend with you - then she would cheat on you.

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    She's probably not going to call you unless the bf dumps her.

    I'd think over what she actually said about him. She said it was "no big deal" and he was an alcoholic? Then why is he her boyfriend?

    Is there not another girl you could pursue? She sounds like more trouble than she's worth. You're 19. There's got to be other girls around.

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    I questioned that myself. She hasn't actually cheated on him yet and has never cheated on any of her boyfriends. I don't know why she's with him but I don't really feel it's my place to ask yet, who knows maybe it is... I want to give her a chance and get to know her more because she really does seem cool. I'm not giving up on this girl yet, I need to know more to the story.

    Anyways, my main concern at this point is whether or not to call her. I see her boyfriend situation as something to deal with after I get to know her a little better, after all we've only hung out a few times.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member alli's Avatar
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    Imagine dating this girl & having her cheat on you. Having some other guy calling your girlfriend & trying to get her to cheat on you with him Good feeling? Probably not. Stop pursuing her; she has a boyfriend. If she wanted out of that relationship she would be. It is not your place to call her & try to get her to hang out with you when she is already seeing someone.

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    Originally Posted by likesAdvice


    I want to emphasize when I actually see or talk to her it's insanely obvious she likes me, it almost feels like she's playing hard to get.
    yes she does, i could find 2 or 3 things in here which would suggest that. I.E - her lying to you about going out with friends when she was seeing her bf. If she wasnt into you, she'd have said, "sorry i have a boyfriend."

    I've been in a similar situation before and left it because she had a bf (too much hassle). But it seems you like her and she isn't happy with her bf. I also dont think you are quite there yet, to pop the question "its either me or your boyfriend" But you could se up the situation where you can ask the question: Arrange to meet up, just you and her. Bar - evening time (just a suggestion) and wait for that moment where it looks like things could get physical and just say "look you have a boyfriend, i dont think we should go any further with this" and ask her to choose which one she wants, either you or him because you dont like wasting your time. nobody does.

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    dude, this is a red flag in itself. She has a boyfriend but is all up on you? doesnt matter if he doesnt mean anything to her. Maybe he does when they are actually together. You shouldnt even persue her till she does break it off with him cause once a cheater, there is always the possibility of it happening again since she was able to. If that was the case. If she doesnt care about him than she should just break it off and take her chances with you. Or she just likes to keep her options open man. Becareful with this one cause she may play you. If you were the last one to contact her and she didnt respond the ball is in her court. Dont be too needy or she will know your in the palm of her hand. Just wait and see if she contacts you.


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