greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I'm not asking for advice. I was just wondering what people think about the theory that attraction is a form of narcississm. I'm not talking about narcissistic people. I'm talking about how many people are attracted to people that are similar to them or even look like them. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Hmm, i would call that compatibility and taste preference, not narcissim. In Sociology they speak about how most people date people with "physical nearness" as in similar on the scale of attraction and as for dating people "like" you that tends to be for compatibility reasons. I don't think these reasons are narcisstic at all, altho everyone probably has at least a trace of narcissim in them. It would be hard to have NONE, even humble people have some. Some is healthy in that it means a person holds themself in as high a regard as they do other people. The definition is an interest and admiration for oneself. To have ZERO narcissim would render someone with low self esteem. I think it would be narcisstic to a high degree if the person only dates people who they think are exceptionally hot so as to look good around others but not really caring if that person is likable or compatible to them. That would be more narcisstic IMO. Men do this a lot with women they date and women tend to do it more with guys with power, status and/or money. That to me is narcisstic. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I think many people are attracted to someone with very similar traits as themself and the same level of attractiveness. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 I think many people are attracted to someone with very similar traits as themself and the same level of attractiveness. Do you think it's a form of narcississm though? For example, let's say I love this certain rock band. I find a person that loves that rock band as well and I think, "Wow s/he is so cool!" Is that liking the other person, or liking myself? heheheh (i know music is a trivial thing, but it's just an example) Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Well we think of being narcississtic as being bad. But I think self love is very important as long as it does not supercede loving others. Hm , no I do not think it is narcississtic, because narcississim is not really based on the realisitic. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Well we think of being narcississtic as being bad. But I think self love is very important as long as it does not supercede loving others. Hm , no I do not think it is narcississtic, because narcississim is not really based on the realisitic. RIght. I agree. Narcissim is only bad when it is possessed by a person in unhealthy levels. If we don't love ourselves, who will? LOL Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 When most people think of the word narcississm they associate it with narcissistic personality disorder. I think those two are very different from each other. I think a certain amount of narcississm is healthy. Link to comment
jettison Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Well, people are sexually attracted to people with an ego since the lifeblood of most romantic relationships are their ability to feed our egos. If you're dating someone with "no ego" then you will likely find yourself dating "just a friend" in the very near future. Sure, a "nice and lovely friend", but "just a friend" none the less. Link to comment
Creative Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Well, people are sexually attracted to people with an ego since the lifeblood of most romantic relationships are their ability to feed our egos. If you're dating someone with "no ego" then you will likely find yourself dating "just a friend" in the very near future. Sure, a "nice and lovely friend", but "just a friend" none the less. You might want to elaborate on that. Doesn't quite fit with my definition of ego. Link to comment
jettison Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 You might want to elaborate on that. Doesn't quite fit with my definition of ego. It's merely a component of ego. Rather then asking me to elaborate, you could just tell us what you imagine ego to be, and what you imagine ego not to be. Then we could more easily reach our uncommon ground. Link to comment
Creative Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 It's merely a component of ego. Rather then asking me to elaborate, you could just tell us what you imagine ego to be, and what you imagine ego not to be. Then we could more easily reach our uncommon ground. People with no ego are ones whom I'll sacrifice myself for, definitely wouldn't place them as 'just a friend'. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 People with no ego are ones whom I'll die for. I think you are confusing ego with egocentrism. The id is actually the selfish part of a person. Link to comment
jettison Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 People with no ego are ones whom I'll sacrifice myself for, definitely wouldn't place them as 'just a friend'. Then you're showing a rather fundamental misunderstanding of what the word "ego" means. May want to read a few books. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I have NEVER yet met someone with no ego.......I think it is impossible unless you were raised in a box. Link to comment
jettison Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I have NEVER yet met someone with no ego.......I think it is impossible unless you were raised in a box. Exactly. There is no such thing. Similarly, it's not a big coincidence that so many people are so attracted to narcissists. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 Well I always thought that one's ego was their sense of self, and what separates us from animals. I should read up on it again. I admit that I'm not too familiar on it anymore. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 The development of the ego is a very essential part of personality development. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Yes, some are confusing Narcissim with Narcisstic Disorder and Ego with Egocentrical. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 This is what I love about ENA. I can ask a question like this and people actually answer. Normally when I ask a question like this in real life I get a blank stare. hehehehe Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 This is what I love about ENA. I can ask a question like this and people actually answer. Normally when I ask a question like this in real life I get a blank stare. hehehehe LOL we are a highly evolved and ecclectic group of people. LOL No ego talking there either! HEEHEE Link to comment
kaoticbaby Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 that doesn't really make sense to me. of course we want people who act like us.. not because we love the way we act so much that we want the people around us to act the same way, but because it is easier to get along that way. as far as wanting someone who looks like us.... i'm not sure what you mean. do you mean skin color? or do you literally mean looks like us. because my boyfriend definitely doesn't. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 18, 2008 Author Share Posted October 18, 2008 that doesn't really make sense to me. of course we want people who act like us.. not because we love the way we act so much that we want the people around us to act the same way, but because it is easier to get along that way. as far as wanting someone who looks like us.... i'm not sure what you mean. do you mean skin color? or do you literally mean looks like us. because my boyfriend definitely doesn't. I guess it doesn't have to only be for relationships, it could work for friends as well. But have you ever met somebody that said something, and you thought, "Cool! Me too!" and then you reveled in your mutual coolness. Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 I'm not asking for advice. I was just wondering what people think about the theory that attraction is a form of narcississm. I'm not talking about narcissistic people. I'm talking about how many people are attracted to people that are similar to them or even look like them. how can it be narcissism? you are not liking yourself... you are liking some other person. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 My husband and I have some similar traits physically and we are pretty much on the same level of attractiveness. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 18, 2008 Author Share Posted October 18, 2008 how can it be narcissism? you are not liking yourself... you are liking some other person. I don't know. I was merely asking for a discussion on the topic. My point was, what if the things you like in another person are those things that you have as well? If you are attracted to someone who is similar to you in personality could it perhaps be a 'liking' of yourself as well? Link to comment
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