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narcississm


greywolf

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I'm not asking for advice. I was just wondering what people think about the theory that attraction is a form of narcississm.

I'm not talking about narcissistic people. I'm talking about how many people are attracted to people that are similar to them or even look like them.

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Hmm, i would call that compatibility and taste preference, not narcissim. In Sociology they speak about how most people date people with "physical nearness" as in similar on the scale of attraction and as for dating people "like" you that tends to be for compatibility reasons.

 

I don't think these reasons are narcisstic at all, altho everyone probably has at least a trace of narcissim in them. It would be hard to have NONE, even humble people have some. Some is healthy in that it means a person holds themself in as high a regard as they do other people. The definition is an interest and admiration for oneself. To have ZERO narcissim would render someone with low self esteem.

 

I think it would be narcisstic to a high degree if the person only dates people who they think are exceptionally hot so as to look good around others but not really caring if that person is likable or compatible to them. That would be more narcisstic IMO. Men do this a lot with women they date and women tend to do it more with guys with power, status and/or money. That to me is narcisstic.

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I think many people are attracted to someone with very similar traits as themself and the same level of attractiveness.

 

Do you think it's a form of narcississm though?

For example, let's say I love this certain rock band. I find a person that loves that rock band as well and I think, "Wow s/he is so cool!"

Is that liking the other person, or liking myself? heheheh

(i know music is a trivial thing, but it's just an example)

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Well we think of being narcississtic as being bad. But I think self love is very important as long as it does not supercede loving others. Hm , no I do not think it is narcississtic, because narcississim is not really based on the realisitic.

 

RIght. I agree. Narcissim is only bad when it is possessed by a person in unhealthy levels.

 

If we don't love ourselves, who will? LOL

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Well, people are sexually attracted to people with an ego since the lifeblood of most romantic relationships are their ability to feed our egos. If you're dating someone with "no ego" then you will likely find yourself dating "just a friend" in the very near future. Sure, a "nice and lovely friend", but "just a friend" none the less.

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Well, people are sexually attracted to people with an ego since the lifeblood of most romantic relationships are their ability to feed our egos. If you're dating someone with "no ego" then you will likely find yourself dating "just a friend" in the very near future. Sure, a "nice and lovely friend", but "just a friend" none the less.

 

You might want to elaborate on that. Doesn't quite fit with my definition of ego.

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You might want to elaborate on that. Doesn't quite fit with my definition of ego.

 

It's merely a component of ego. Rather then asking me to elaborate, you could just tell us what you imagine ego to be, and what you imagine ego not to be. Then we could more easily reach our uncommon ground.

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It's merely a component of ego. Rather then asking me to elaborate, you could just tell us what you imagine ego to be, and what you imagine ego not to be. Then we could more easily reach our uncommon ground.

 

People with no ego are ones whom I'll sacrifice myself for, definitely wouldn't place them as 'just a friend'.

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that doesn't really make sense to me. of course we want people who act like us.. not because we love the way we act so much that we want the people around us to act the same way, but because it is easier to get along that way. as far as wanting someone who looks like us.... i'm not sure what you mean. do you mean skin color? or do you literally mean looks like us. because my boyfriend definitely doesn't.

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that doesn't really make sense to me. of course we want people who act like us.. not because we love the way we act so much that we want the people around us to act the same way, but because it is easier to get along that way. as far as wanting someone who looks like us.... i'm not sure what you mean. do you mean skin color? or do you literally mean looks like us. because my boyfriend definitely doesn't.

 

I guess it doesn't have to only be for relationships, it could work for friends as well. But have you ever met somebody that said something, and you thought, "Cool! Me too!" and then you reveled in your mutual coolness.

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I'm not asking for advice. I was just wondering what people think about the theory that attraction is a form of narcississm.

I'm not talking about narcissistic people. I'm talking about how many people are attracted to people that are similar to them or even look like them.

 

how can it be narcissism? you are not liking yourself... you are liking some other person.

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how can it be narcissism? you are not liking yourself... you are liking some other person.

 

I don't know. I was merely asking for a discussion on the topic.

My point was, what if the things you like in another person are those things that you have as well? If you are attracted to someone who is similar to you in personality could it perhaps be a 'liking' of yourself as well?

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