Ex is dying.

I don't even know how to begin to deal with this. We're on NC and I know that if I spoke to him again I would only make things worse on him and I don't want that... he was hiding it from his friends (incl me) until recently when he almost died... and I don't know what to do. I don't know.

I'd be there for him. You'll regret it otherwise. Who broke up with who? And what is wrong? If you don't mind me asking.

oh my god, how awful...

in this case, i'd break nc.... like DW said...you'll regret it if you don't...

It's his heart/lungs... he's not over me yet so I'm so scared that if I break NC and talk to him, the emotions he'll feel will only make things worse and make it more likely he'll die more quickly. He already told me just the other day that it was too hard being my friend. (This is before I knew about all this.)

It's his heart/lungs... he's not over me yet so I'm so scared that if I break NC and talk to him, the emotions he'll feel will only make things worse and make it more likely he'll die more quickly. He already told me just the other day that it was too hard being my friend. (This is before I knew about all this.)

In the end, it'll mean more to him that you cared enough to come back.

You can tell him that he can wish you away at any time if he feels that you're doing more harm than good.

In the end, it'll mean more to him that you cared enough to come back.

 

You can tell him that he can wish you away at any time if he feels that you're doing more harm than good.

I agree with this 100%. Give him the option. Tell him you'll be there for him, but if he'd rather you weren't, that's fine too

btw, why did you break up?

Long story short, I felt like I was sacrificing a lot more to be with him than he was to be with me. That was 3 months ago... he'd been pretending to hate me up until the day before yesterday when we had a heart-felt talk about how we both really felt and why we can't be friends.

Now this happens...

In that case, I would be there for him.

I think it'd be worse if he was laying in his hospital bed wondering where you were.

I agree with everyone else, talk to him.

If he was dying, I would be there for him. It would be the RIGHT thing to do.

What do I say to him? Is it as simple as "I'm here if you need me?" or should I say something else about being friends?

I want to give him my contact info and tell him to call me if he needs me... is that good enough or should I say more?

Give him your contact info and tell him you are there for him and to call you if he needs you. Then let him be and see how he reacts.

I'd go as far as to visit him in person and tell him about how you are there for him.

I would do that but we have been NC for two months and only talked here or there. He moved since then and I don't have the new address.

I would do that but we have been NC for two months and only talked here or there. He moved since then and I don't have the new address.

Well, how did he tell you that he was sick?

He hasn't told me; I found out through someone else.

He hasn't told me; I found out through someone else.

Hmmm, that's tricky then...

We all die alone..

Just a thought

We all die alone..

 

Just a thought

Even though there is an element of truth to it, it is still kinda sad.

If you found out through someone else then can that someone else feel out the situation and see if contact from you would be welcome. If he is hurting over the break up and couldn't be friends with you, the last thing you should do is contact him because that would be serving your purpose (dealing with feelings of guilt) rather than his.

I can't be certain, but human support... Even in the form of a parted lover... is all that a person asks for, when the curtain is coming down. You can't go with him, but you can at least be there to hold his hand - for a minute if nothing more. Do you really think it would hurt him WORSE to know that you care?

Does he have other people there for support like family and friends?

I can't be certain, but human support... Even in the form of a parted lover... is all that a person asks for, when the curtain is coming down. You can't go with him, but you can at least be there to hold his hand - for a minute if nothing more. Do you really think it would hurt him WORSE to know that you care?

When a person is dying one should never assume what they would want if it is something that has the potential to cause distress.

I offered my support for him... two of my friends are angry with me for this, because he already told me not to talk to him.

I don't know... I still don't know if I did the right thing, but I hope I did.