One Year On.....

You died on a Monday evening,

The beginning of an end

I heard a screaming in my head

The announcement "She is dead."

Pain and scratching in my chest

As you lay yourself to rest

Climbing inside of myself,

You shattered into light

Muted voices and memories fading,

Curling at the edges.

I'm sorry we never became

What fate intended us to be

You took a piece of me away

And that's alright by me

That part belonged to you;

It's yours...through and through.

So what, here, am I left with?

I walked myself along, looked up and heard a song

It sounded like your laugh and I knew it was your sign

Telling me you're with me as everything between us

Slowly realigns.

I've seen you appear in the most unlikely of ways

You are alive in the world, the hope of new days.

The sunset and dawn; a person newborn

Where earth stops and heaven begins, you hover inbetween

That glow. Metal. Ice and Fire

Water, rainbows, and the local church choir;

You are the green grass that grows

The soft breeze that blows;

A smile and a teardrop all rolled into one

A piercing kiss that bruises my lips

A once in a lifetime solar eclipse;

Aches on foggy nights, afternoon delights

The diamond dew in the mornings

The sparkle of the snow, the fire burning

The scars of despair; My daily nightmare

A beautiful creature, serene and calm

A raging storm; A dance to perform.

You are my world, my universe, my muse

My choosing, my dream, inside my bloodstream

A rainbow, a flower; Mine and peoples laughter

A bird song, a poem, a photo, and a memory

A perfumed garden, whispering wonderment as beauty unfolds

Sweetly singing melodies bouncing merrily through the breeze

So rest your head in your hopeful peaceful slumber

And rest assured you are all and everything in my world.

Still.

You've been running through my thoughts today, storeys....

My heart goes out to you...

Hugs!!!

God! Life is so sad and depressing. Why do we even bother living???

Storeys, the beauty of this poem is beyond words.

Shivers run down my spine when I read it. You truly did an amazing job writing this.

Sonnet 20: Beloved, my Beloved, when I think

Beloved, my Beloved, when I think

That thou wast in the world a year ago,

What time I sat alone here in the snow

And saw no footprint, heard the silence sink

No moment at thy voice, but, link by link,

Went counting all my chains as if that so

They never could fall off at any blow

Struck by thy possible hand,—why, thus I drink

Of life's great cup of wonder!

-- by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Song: Soul's Joy, Now I am Gone

SOUL'S joy, now I am gone,

And you alone,

—Which cannot be,

Since I must leave myself with thee,

And carry thee with me—

Yet when unto our eyes

Absense denies

Each other's sight,

And makes to us a constant night,

When others change to light;

O give no way to grief,

But let belief

Of mutual love

This wonder to the vulgar prove,

Our bodies, not we move.

Let not thy wit beweep

Words but sense deep;

For when we miss

By distance our hope's joining bliss,

Even then our souls shall kiss;

Fools have no means to meet,

But by their feet;

Why should our clay

Over our spirits so much sway,

To tie us to that way?

O give no way to grief.

-- by John Donne

I Am Not Alone

The night, it is deserted

from the mountains to the sea.

But I, the one who rocks you,

I am not alone!

The sky, it is deserted

for the moon falls to the sea.

But I, the one who holds you,

I am not alone!

The world, it is deserted.

All flesh is sad you see.

But I, the one who hugs you,

I am not alone!

-- by Gabriela Mistral

(Two versions of the same poem...and I just couldn't choose, so...)

I was Dead

i was dead

i came alive

i was tears

i became laughter

all because of love

when it arrived

my temporal life

from then on

changed to eternal

love said to me

you are not

crazy enough

you don't

fit this house

i went and

became crazy

crazy enough

to be in chains

love said

you are not

intoxicated enough

you don't

fit the group

i went and

got drunk

drunk enough

to overflow

with light-headedness

love said

you are still

too clever

filled with

imagination and skepticism

i went and

became gullible

and in fright

pulled away

from it all

love said

you are a candle

attracting everyone

gathering every one

around you

i am no more

a candle spreading light

i gather no more crowds

and like smoke

i am all scattered now

love said

you are a teacher

you are a head

and for everyone

you are a leader

i am no more

not a teacher

not a leader

just a servant

to your wishes

love said

you already have

your own wings

i will not give you

more feathers

and then my heart

pulled itself apart

and filled to the brim

with a new light

overflowed with fresh life

now even the heavens

are thankful that

because of love

i have become

the giver of light

I Was Dead, Then Alive

I was dead, then alive.

Weeping, then laughing.

The power of love came into me,

and I became fierce like a lion,

then tender like the evening star.

He said, ‘You’re not mad enough.

You don’t belong in this house.’

I went wild and had to be tied up.

He said, ‘Still not wild enough

to stay with us!’

I broke through another layer

into joyfulness.

He said, ‘Its not enough.’

I died.

He said, ‘You are a clever little man,

full of fantasy and doubting.’

I plucked out my feathers and became a fool.

He said, ‘Now you are the candle

for this assembly.’

But I’m no candle. Look!

I’m scattered smoke

He said, ‘You are the Sheikh, the guide.’

But I’m not a teacher. I have no power.

He said, ‘You already have wings.

I cannot give you wings.’

But I wanted his wings.

I felt like some flightless chicken.

Then new events said to me,

‘Don’t move. A sublime generosity is

coming towards you.’

And old love said, ‘Stay with me.’

I said, ‘I will.’

You are the fountain of the sun’s light.

I am a willow shadow on the ground.

You make my raggedness silky.

The soul at dawn is like darkened water

that slowly begins to say Thank you, thank you.

Then at sunset, again, Venus gradually

Changes into the moon and then the whole nightsky.

This comes of smiling back

at your smile.

The chess master says nothing,

other than moving the silent chess piece.

That I am part of the ploys

of this game makes me

amazingly happy.

So take your place among the people whose poems I've read and cried to, Storeys.

It's so haunting, and visceral, and beautiful...I don't want to take away from it with too many words. You're a poet, and you must celebrate the depths and heights of life and your heart. Don't give up on either, dear soul.

The end has my spine shivering and tingling, and you know what I like best....the line about resting her head in "hopeful peaceful slumber." The hope is like a diamond in the poem...and your embrace so full of gentleness.

Keep this gentleness over the next days, within you. Gentle with yourself now...

I feel such an abiding wish for you to continue to see and experience all the beautiful things in the poem, again and again.

She wants you to, also. She is rejoicing with this poem, and weeps in relief for the light that returns to you.

(((hugs)))

OH storeys....how perfectly you worded this.

It hurts so much reading it, but it also soothes so deeply.

Your love's beauty and the love you have for her shines through...the best love poem and tribute. I believe she is always with you.

So much love to you.

God! Life is so sad and depressing. Why do we even bother living???

Because there are many kinds of ways we can make our existence worth something.

Being born is a rare opportunity -- when you consider how many eggs and sperm are destroyed, and what it took to make all of us what it is...and to be able to think, and write a poem like this, and feel heartbroken because of love, and save other lives like Storeys does, and just make use of our one life here (if it's just one) with all our faculties is a damn hard job, and some have it harder. But in the end, a life is a special and infinitely important thing, and the loss of two lives cannot possibly rectify the loss of one.

I hope you re-read the OP's poem, Zombie, and maybe see all the fabulous reasons it's good to be alive. All the beautiful reasons that should not be discarded.

God! Life is so sad and depressing. Why do we even bother living???

Why? Because there is much happiness in life also. To love, to feel, to breathe. We are blessed to be alive. Even though at moments in our lives it feels like the bottom of the pit... there is always something to live for. Whether you know it or not.

Their is so much beauty around us, sometimes we just get blinded and can't see it. Storeys poem radiates all the beauty and the sorrow in an amazing way.

You can't have good without bad, can't have happiness without sadness.

Every life is precious.

Absolutely breathtaking Storeys. I head tears in my eyes when I read this.

My thoughts are with you on this day.

Godspeed.

~Allie

Beautiful

She is loved and cherished, Storey's.

Beautiful...

My heart goes out to you at all times Storeys~~ The pain you have endured and continue to feel is like nothing I can imagine... I'm sorry for the pain you feel..

This is so moving, I don't have the words to express how this made me feel.

There is beauty in life even in despair, you continue to give hope to us all.

My thoughts are with you today Storeys.

was in tears reading this - so beautiful .

Can feel how much her being in the world meant to you ' storeys' my heart goes out to you on this sad day , she knows she is loved .

Storeys, a literally breath taking poem, I think I wasnt breathing for like 15 secs as it seemed everything else had faded but your words, I'm sorry for your sadness, but I'm glad you were able to show us such beauty.

-Beo.

I know this is a very difficult day for you. You have all of our support. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers today.

Your poem was beautiful.

Please don't be alone today.

Please don't be alone today.

I mirror this. We would all like to see you on line to offer our support. This is what we are here for.

That was beautiful, Storeys.

You're in my thoughts today, and everyone is here for you.

Take care...

Very beautiful storeys, and profoundly heartfelt.

I felt choked up reading it, without doubt... my heart goes out to you. You have so much strength and love inside you.

I am touched that she appears to you with laughther--it is so hopeful, healing, and sweet. Love never dies. Her laughter bubbling over from the spirit world shows us how thin the veil is that separates our two worlds--There is no separation, and yet, while here, we must live this physical life, and understand its lessons. The most beautiful thing is....love is the common lesson of both worlds.

Your poem speaks of this so gracefully.

What a beautiful poem. What an amazing way to remember someone who meant (and still means) so much to you.

Someone probably already said it, but I'll just reiterate: True love never dies.

You've expressed that truth so eloquently here.

My thoughts are with you.

Everytime I read this beautiful, tender poem it brings tears to my eyes...it's sad but at the same time full of hope and inspiration. Her spirit and love is all around you.

Thank you all.