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Thread: Guys...how long do you wait to ask a girl out?

  1. #1
    Daligal83
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    Guys...how long do you wait to ask a girl out?

    If you are interested in a girl, how many times do you talk with her before asking her out usually?

    I've been talking to this guy at the gym. I'd like for him to ask me out and I think I've made it obvious that I'm interested and he seems to be as well. We've both gone out of our way to talk to each other. But he hasn't even hinted at asking me out. The closest he's come is telling me to visit him at work if I end up going there (which I occasionally have to for my job).

    Is he just not that interested and just is flirty or do guys usually wait awhile before making a move?

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    Lionel Hutz
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    Some guys are brick heads and think, "shes just being nice." Give him your number and tell him to call you for, (insert specific meeting). Unless you are into tradition and guys asking you. It really depends on the chemistry. It usually doesnt take long before i'd decide to ask for a phone number at least, or coffee. Maybe a week or two depending on my schedule.
    Last edited by Lionel Hutz; 10-07-2008 at 09:34 PM.

  3. #3
    LBP
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    All men are different. Personally, I don't wait too long, on the assumption that something could 'happen' and I'll lose my chance. I give myself the wuss check: "Are you really such a big wuss that you're not going to talk to this girl?"

    Despite the stereotype, most men are indeed such a big wuss. I think it's safe to assume one of three things: 1) he's a big wuss 2) he's just having some fun because he's already got a girlfriend/is otherwise engaged/doesn't want to get involved with anyone 3) isn't interested.

    Only one of these three possibilities can be countered and to do that, you're going to have to make the first move. So, take a chance on the 33% and go for it. What do you have to lose? it's a zero dollar bet with the possible pay off being sex and, what the hell, eternal happiness.

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    Daligal83
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    Even if he is a wuss...I've made it obvious that I'm interested. And he's the one that approached me first. Last week when we were at the gym, as soon as his basketball game finished, he came right over and sat with me during the whole break to talk. If he was a wuss...wouldn't he be even to shy to do that?

    And today I went into the weight room purposefully to talk to him. I was done working out. That is so obvious to me and bordering on looking stupid, but I did it anyway.

  5. #5
    Mantis
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    If it was me I wouldn't necessarily take just going out of the way to talk to each other to be a sign of attraction. He might just be clueless like me. And, being brave another to talk to you is a WHOLE 'NOTHER LEVEL from being brave enough to ask you out, believe me.

  6. #6
    Daligal83
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    OK, so what do I do to encourage that? What can I do to make him realize that I want him to ask me out?

  7. #7
    Samedy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daligal83 [Register to see the link]
    Even if he is a wuss...I've made it obvious that I'm interested. And he's the one that approached me first. Last week when we were at the gym, as soon as his basketball game finished, he came right over and sat with me during the whole break to talk. If he was a wuss...wouldn't he be even to shy to do that?

    And today I went into the weight room purposefully to talk to him. I was done working out. That is so obvious to me and bordering on looking stupid, but I did it anyway.
    I'm a big wuss.. It takes me FOREVER to work up the courage to ask a chick out.

    I'm also pretty thick too. I usually find out after the fact when someone likes me.. "you know she liked you eh?"

    So there are thickies out there. Good thing about thickies you can ask them out and they won't even think it's a date until things start getting serious.. They will just think it's hanging out. Less pressure on you.

  8. #8
    Batya33
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    Ask him what he likes to do on weekends. Otherwise, it sounds like you've done enough to show interest. Are you sure he doesn't have a girlfriend?

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    Daligal83
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    Not 100%. He hasn't mentioned one though. And he's been talking about applying to med school and went out of town for an interview over the weekend. I'd think in talking about plans like that, a girlfriend would come up because of the distance thing. But that's not definite.

    Also...this makes me look kind of stalkerish...but when he first started coming to the gym, he always came with this girl. I figured they were together. I haven't seen her for a long time now though. And I was talking to my friend who works at the front desk about him, and he had the exact same thought. She hasn't even been there without him.

    Plus his actions just don't seem like it. Unless I'm way off. But that day when he was playing basketball, I mean he didn't even hesitate as soon as the game was over to come right over to me and stayed until another game started up. Unless he's a jerk, I don't think he would give me that kind of attention if he had a girlfriend.

    If he doesn't go this weekend, I'm not going to see him for a week now because the gym is closed for the next two days and it's closed Monday and Tuesday. I'm not very patient haha.

  10. #10
    ghost69
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    'we should get a drink sometime.'

    oh, and i don't wait long to ask a girl out if i'm into her. i usually get her number and tell her when i'll call.

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