LOL that was a great post!
LOL that was a great post!
I don't think ALL guys are like this, don't get me wrong. And if guys in my class are talking to me, although I will mention my boyfriend, I will talk to them and not be rude. I'm only rude if they hit on me when I already say I have a boyfriend.
Like the other day I brought up my boyfriend to this guy in my class, and then he didnt hit on me so we went on to talk about my major, his major, the stupid late policy at my school and how we thought it was weird etc etc. Casual conversation. But again, I wouldn't give out my number or hang out with them.
It's not something I feel like I'm missing out on, it's just something I don't feel comfortable doing.
What's interesting is, my mom is doing this foreign exchange program, she teaches german and english and we have this german guy living at our house for 3 weeks. He's my mom's age, and his wife is coming down next week.
He's fun to talk to. What is interesting is that he JUST got married to his wife, they've been married a year BUT have been together for 22 years! And they see eachother just on the weekends because of her career.
It's interesting to see the different in cultures, where in America people want to get married early, when in Germany not many people get married.
I dont want to get married until I'm 25. It may be a little earlier, but not until ATLEAST 23, when I'm out of college.
Why bring up your bf before the person hits on you? It sounds like they are "guilty till proven innocent". Many men, like many women, like to make friends, regardless of the gender. It's also a good way to remind yourself that despite having a bf, you are your own, independent person - injecting "my bf..." gives the impression that you're dependent in a negative way and that you don't have much else going on except that you happen to have a bf-- that is, when it's done constantly.
I bring him up, when they FLIRT with me lol.
I'm not just like, "I have a boyfriend!" before he even opens his mouth.
Then why did you say this....Originally Posted by Rose21
The above quote suggests that you tell them before they even think about hitting on you.Originally Posted by Rose21
Do you tell EVERY man that talks to you that you are taken? If not, how do you decipher who you tell this to and who you don't? Or are you just sooooo good looking that EVERY man that has a pulse and talks to you, hits on you?
I really don't think that being hit on should be a complaint. What if you and your BF dont work out in the future and now a guy that was just being friendly with you will never ask you out now because you were so quick to tell him that you are taken?
I think it is grand that you care for your BF so much to the point to where you do not like other men even thinking about hitting on you but it is not necessary to tell every guy that you are taken. I am sure there are not as many men coming up to you to hit on you then you think.
Most happy, fulfilled couples I know are not blind, notice other attractive people, have no problem with knowing that their significant other is not blind (as long as the noticing is not done in any disrespectful way) and I would have to wonder if the extremes to which the OP goes (in my opinion) to avoid other men to the point where she can only be friends with a man she finds repulsive in some way reflects her devotion to/desire for her bf, or her own need to define herself as "taken".
I used to be that way at the OP's age - a big part of my identity was "I have a bf" and I wanted everyone to know it. When I got older and I had a bf I took a lot more pride in not needing to announce it or have people know, because I had more than enough going for me and didn't need to count "bf" as some sort of "accomplishment" or reason for me to be valued.
That's just me - nothing "wrong" with that level of focus but it might come accross oddly to these men who are simply trying to make nice conversation with no ulterior motive.
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Last edited by Aviatormy; 10-02-2008 at 08:45 PM.
Agreed ...Originally Posted by Batya33
... and agreed.Originally Posted by jettison
I might be wrong but from all your posts about your relationship I kind of get the impression that you're putting eachother on a pedestal and have not much of a life outside your relationship. There is nothing wrong with being friends with people of the opposite sex, same goes for your bf (cause you mentioned it's not necessary for him to make any female friends now that he has you).
I agree. Most people don't care for hearing about others' boyfriends or girlfriends, unless they specifically ask questions about it. Rose you are your own person and you can have so many other things to talk about than your bf to people you've just met.Originally Posted by Batya33
and I would say there's a lot of things "right" in being open to having male friends- it will help you with your perspective on people, the world, enhance your communication with your bf, expose you to different types of people (not just because they are male), etc. And, yes, if this relationship is not forever - always a possibility - you will have more opportunities to meet men to date (i.e. their friends, not necessarily them). I find that women who have male friends are much more natural when they are trying to meet men to date.
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