7 years ago my wife of 3 years at the time and I left to go to the hospital, it was 2001 only 14 days after the World Trade Center attacks it was an uncertain time. My daughter was born early in the morning that day. I remember almost every detail of it all, everything from the previous miscarriage to the trying for over a year afterwards, and then there she was 10 fingers 10 toes. I looked at my wife, I looked at my baby, I felt immense love and pride for both. I had waited until I was 35 to marry, there were many women I could have married over the years but none of them felt right so I waited, I waited for the right one to come along.
Ours was not the perfect marriage but it always felt right and that it would last forever. We had our ups and downs, our highs and lows, but I always felt there was love everlasting between us. We had a house we had bought a few months before we were married; we did some improvements on it. We were a family; we had family gatherings in the backyard. It all felt so right, there seemed to be a lot of love to go around. Three years later we sold that house and upgraded, had a custom home built. My wife was there every step of the way picking colors, making decisions, this was OUR house, she wanted a brand new house that no one had lived in. We talked of growing old together in our house of grandkids coming around. Then in 2005 we had a son, I desperately wanted a son because I am the last of my name, so there we were same hospital same room even. I never felt so much love, there I was looking at my wife looking at my baby, looking at my daughter holding her brother we had it all.
Two years later my wife would tell me she wanted out, the kids drained her, I was keeping her from being her and abruptly left us, left me to pick up the pieces and try and hold things together for the kids sake.
Here I am today sad as all get out thinking back to my daughter being born, but no one to remember it with, no one to help tell the story. I loved my wife up until the day she left.
I ask “what if you never get over your ex?” I don’t think I ever will, my dreams were shattered, my trust taken from me, my heart destroyed. Will I ever love again? I can’t say for sure, but I’d bet not. I have the kids, I have the house, still there is something gone that can never be replaced, the kids will never know what it is like to have a mom and a dad there when they go to sleep and there when they wake up; I will never have someone to help me tell the stories of their birth, of the times when we were a family.