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Thread: Does he still think about me? Is it harder for women than men?

  1. #1
    Member abriellek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008

    Exclamation Does he still think about me? Is it harder for women than men?

    I've been broken up with my ex for 6 months. We dated almost two years and were almost engaged. The breakup was extremely messy and painful. It was pretty obvious that he hated me in the end of the relationship.
    However, after it was over, about a month and a half later, we started talking again. We met up and had sex, but he also spent the night, and cried in my shoulder about how he hated his life and missed me. So I asked if he wanted to go out sometime and try again, and he said no we weren't right for each other. But he said he was miserable.
    We texted about what was going on in each others lives, fairly regularly, at least 5-6 times a week. He lives with his sister now and on a few occasions (we're about 3 months after breakup now) he'd call if everyone was asleep because he was 'lonely and needed someone to talk to.' If I invited him out or to parties he would not come. We had sex once again at this point. (A bad decision, but I was still in love with him and looking good and I wanted him to know that.)
    About 3 and a half months post-breakup, he meets this extremely trashy girl. I'm no Angelina Jolie, but she was very unattractive and also lived trashily. This is not being mean, but a fact. (He does not come from a very good background, his whole family does drugs, and now he does too... long story.) Anyway, they were almost going to date and I just said to him, 'don't lower your standards just to be with someone, you are way more attractive and probably more successful than her.' He lashed out at me crazily, saying at least she wasn't a ***** like me and she was the sweetest girl he ever met and that I shouldn't be so confident, everyone at his workplace asked why he ever dated me, because apparentley they thought I was ugly (which may be a lie, who knows.)
    So that crushed me, obviously. But then, about a week and a half later I get a text "So I never dated that ugly girl. So you know." * * * . * * * . Then he starts talking to me again. And I can't resist it I just want to talk to him even though he makes me feel like ****. We text every once in awhile. Then, last week, same thing happens. He meets someone. We were talking about having sex about two weeks ago. All of a sudden, some girl comes into the picture. I'm texting him, he says he's met someone, and I say jokingly 'I hope you have amazzzing sex.' and I get a call on my phone (voicemail) from his new gf, from his phone, telling me to 'stop making HER boyfriend miserable because that's all they do, and yes they have outrageously amazing wonderful sex, but do I really want him to tell me that?' then I told her basically that I had the right to talk to him, we were practically engaged, and to be wary of trusting him. She told me in a text that they were both laughing at me. Then he called me, high, and told me quote he's 'sorry he ruined my life but deal with it my goddamn self.' and also that 'he never wants to see my f***ing face again.' This is a week after he told me he had been thinking about me.
    So here's the deal. We were in love once. I think about him all the time. I think I hate him, but there was that time and I can't stop caring. What I really want to know is, does he really hate me? If he does why did he talk to me, and cry? Does he think about me like I think about him? Because this behavior seems to come on only when he meets someone, and even though I've met other guys I've never acted like that. It almost seems like he wants me jealous? What is his deal?

  2. #2
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Move on, he's not worth your time. He's using you and you're letting him

  3. #3
    Platinum Member kaoticbaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    You're driving yourself crazy. I could sit here and speculate with you about this guy but, frankly, he's not worth the times. If he's on drugs and dating trashy girls, why on earth would you want to be with him. Why would you want someone like him dragging you down? Don't you believe that you are worth more than that? Because we all do.

    Look, I'm not going to act like I know what he's thinking. But I can relate to the whole dating for over two years and then getting treated like crap thing. It's not fun. And I know how good it feels to know that they're still thinking about you after all.

    But it's toxic. It is in no way worth it. DO NOT call this guy again, or answer his phone calls. And especially DON'T have sex with him again. Move on and better yourself and make yourself happy while he's busy having sex with random girls and doing drugs with his family.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member lapseinjudgement's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Somewhere in my thoughts
    sounds like he uses you as a crutch until he finds someone else to run with again. Not fair.... run away from him seriously get pissed get angry tell yourself you hate him if you need to and get away from him find happiness somewhere else.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    This is the exact same situation i am currently going through. I am not sure what to do at all.

    I have been through all of my highschool years with this one guy.
    we have grown together, and were bestfriends and then we fell in love.

    we have been together for 3 years and he broke up with me about a week ago.

    he said he wants space and that he loves me but he feels like we should break up now instead of when i go to college this summer.

    i am a senior in highschool and i believe i was truley in love with this guy,
    no, i know.

    our relationship was rocky for about 2 months before the break up,
    but this has happened before.

    he has said the same things.
    except this time he says its different.

    after we broke up, we planned to have sex, but he stopped and said it felt wrong, and that he didnt love me anymore and that he was confused.

    im failing my classes, and i love him so much,

    i need advice please.
    im starting to feel like there is nothing left in life for me.

    i just want to be with him

    but after he said that to me about how he didnt love me anymore,
    i havnt talked to him and have been seeing another guy...

    what should i do?


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