KNOW IT'S LONG BUT PLEASE READ, I REALLY NEED THE HELP.
I've been broken up with my ex for 6 months. We dated almost two years and were almost engaged. The breakup was extremely messy and painful. It was pretty obvious that he hated me in the end of the relationship.
However, after it was over, about a month and a half later, we started talking again. We met up and had sex, but he also spent the night, and cried in my shoulder about how he hated his life and missed me. So I asked if he wanted to go out sometime and try again, and he said no we weren't right for each other. But he said he was miserable.
We texted about what was going on in each others lives, fairly regularly, at least 5-6 times a week. He lives with his sister now and on a few occasions (we're about 3 months after breakup now) he'd call if everyone was asleep because he was 'lonely and needed someone to talk to.' If I invited him out or to parties he would not come. We had sex once again at this point. (A bad decision, but I was still in love with him and looking good and I wanted him to know that.)
About 3 and a half months post-breakup, he meets this extremely trashy girl. I'm no Angelina Jolie, but she was very unattractive and also lived trashily. This is not being mean, but a fact. (He does not come from a very good background, his whole family does drugs, and now he does too... long story.) Anyway, they were almost going to date and I just said to him, 'don't lower your standards just to be with someone, you are way more attractive and probably more successful than her.' He lashed out at me crazily, saying at least she wasn't a ***** like me and she was the sweetest girl he ever met and that I shouldn't be so confident, everyone at his workplace asked why he ever dated me, because apparentley they thought I was ugly (which may be a lie, who knows.)
So that crushed me, obviously. But then, about a week and a half later I get a text "So I never dated that ugly girl. So you know." * * * . * * * . Then he starts talking to me again. And I can't resist it I just want to talk to him even though he makes me feel like ****. We text every once in awhile. Then, last week, same thing happens. He meets someone. We were talking about having sex about two weeks ago. All of a sudden, some girl comes into the picture. I'm texting him, he says he's met someone, and I say jokingly 'I hope you have amazzzing sex.' and I get a call on my phone (voicemail) from his new gf, from his phone, telling me to 'stop making HER boyfriend miserable because that's all they do, and yes they have outrageously amazing wonderful sex, but do I really want him to tell me that?' then I told her basically that I had the right to talk to him, we were practically engaged, and to be wary of trusting him. She told me in a text that they were both laughing at me. Then he called me, high, and told me quote he's 'sorry he ruined my life but deal with it my goddamn self.' and also that 'he never wants to see my f***ing face again.' This is a week after he told me he had been thinking about me.
So here's the deal. We were in love once. I think about him all the time. I think I hate him, but there was that time and I can't stop caring. What I really want to know is, does he really hate me? If he does why did he talk to me, and cry? Does he think about me like I think about him? Because this behavior seems to come on only when he meets someone, and even though I've met other guys I've never acted like that. It almost seems like he wants me jealous? What is his deal?