ConfusedDater Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 This was in response to a email i sent last night. "hi how are you? yes I did enjoy my movie I watched last night" "So anyway, I wanted to let you know that I have really enjoyed meeting you and talking to you, but I'm going to try and make a relationship that has been kinda of a on and off thing try and work. I know you're looking for more than a platonic relationship, so i wanted to let you know I will understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore." I'm sure that you got a great response on link removed and I may see you on there again if this doesn't work out. But anyway I wish you the best. Now once again I'm confused because 1. She made the first contact after the 1st date not me 2. Agreed to go out with me to a Italian restarunt next week And Now I receive a dumb A$$ email like this. This is why I hate dating. Since the first date, she contacted me first on tuesday through email asking did I enjoy the rest of my weeken and then we talked on the phone and followed by another email and now THIS? I was being aggressive and that still didn't get me anywhere. This is why it's hard to get excited about dating because stuff like this happens. I wish I can go back to my old way of living- "women, can't live with them, THE END" Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 :splat: ((Throws tomatoes at that lady)) Link to comment
Mutley Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 That's what we go through when were dating, man. Don't take it personally. I've gotten my share of stupid emails like that. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 ((Throws tomatoes at that lady)) why would i get a email like that when she contacted me first after the date? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Yeah, she's lame. But at least she was being honest early on I guess.. At least this wasn't several dates down the line, it happened before date 2. Link to comment
george237 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 She prob broke up with her ex, went on match, found you, realizes she misses what she had. Stuff like this happens there is nothing you can do about it. At least you improved your dating skills this time. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 wonder if this is because 1. I don't bring up the topic of sex fast enough 2. Not good at flirting Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 wonder if this is because 1. I don't bring up the topic of sex fast enough 2. Not good at flirting Do you honestly think that is the problem? Link to comment
Mutley Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 wonder if this is because 1. I don't bring up the topic of sex fast enough 2. Not good at flirting DUDE IT DOESN'T MATTER. SHE'S NOT INTERESTED. End of story. Move on. Link to comment
hers Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Sometimes things happen without anyone really planning it. I canceled a date witha guy once bc I had the chance to get back togerher with my ex. Don't take it personally! I know it sucks but you're doing much better at dating so keep trying. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 She prob broke up with her ex, went on match, found you, realizes she misses what she had. Stuff like this happens there is nothing you can do about it. At least you improved your dating skills this time. what was it I improved? No matter what I do it's never the right thing. I'm aggressive in setting up date number 2 and it means nothing. Link to comment
george237 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 wonder if this is because 1. I don't bring up the topic of sex fast enough 2. Not good at flirting Well 1. I never bring up the topic of sex, I just let it happen. You should invite them back to your place by the 2nd or 3rd date, that's good enough. 2. Flirting is easy, just poke a little fun at her. Link to comment
hers Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 I can guarantee its not bc you didn't bring up sex. She just had something happen that she probably didn't plan for and it wasn't about you. Do not take it persoanlly and don't analyze. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 Sometimes things happen without anyone really planning it. I canceled a date witha guy once bc I had the chance to get back togerher with my ex. Don't take it personally! I know it sucks but you're doing much better at dating so keep trying. i thoguth I was doing better after she contacted me first after the date now it doesn't seem like I'm doing anything. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Well 1. I never bring up the topic of sex, I just let it happen. You should invite them back to your place by the 2nd or 3rd date, that's good enough. 2. Flirting is easy, just poke a little fun at her. agreed, but he needs to buy a couch first. uh oh, did i open that can of worms again? Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 in theory, every relationship you have in your life will fail, with the exception of one, the one you are with for the remainder of your life. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 I can guarantee its not bc you didn't bring up sex. She just had something happen that she probably didn't plan for and it wasn't about you. Do not take it persoanlly and don't analyze. yeah it's not about me but this is the 3rd email I received like this and it making me lose interest in women all together. Just too much to deal with. Link to comment
hers Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Not gtting to date 2 doesn't mean you didn't have a success with this one. You did better on communication and getting out of your shell. That's a great thing. Are you planning to respond to her email? Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 okay, don't get mad at me, but is there a possibility that she felt that instead of giving you a chance, she would rather want to give the previous (on n off) guy a chance. And she can't know this before she meets you right? She needs to meet you before she decides on that. I'm sorry that this happened to you. But people flake. Its hard to expect that everyone will keep up their interest level throughout the process. But like someone else here said, be really thankful that she came clean and saved you time n grief along the way. Just a thought - have you considered putting it in your profile that you are looking for a long-term, serious, committed relationship ONLY? and people interested in this only apply. I'm not saying people will provide you that, but it can atlaest help to keep some people away. Dating is so competitive and draining. Hang in there! If you ever want to see yourself in a relationship with a good girl, you will have to suffer through few like this. But it will be worth it. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 :splat: I will throw tomatoes at her as well. That's the way it goes with online dating...people have their options open and are meeting with many people. Anyway, I thought you wanted to try your luck with cute nerds with glasses! Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 i thoguth I was doing better after she contacted me first after the date now it doesn't seem like I'm doing anything. You are doing better. Your social and dating skills are getting much better. Unfortunately, stuff like this happens even to the most UN-confused daters. Sometimes people go back to their exes, sometimes they meet someone they like better. It wasn't anything you did. don't get discouraged. Onwards and upwards. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 You are doing better. Your social and dating skills are getting much better. Unfortunately, stuff like this happens even to the most UN-confused daters. Sometimes people go back to their exes, sometimes they meet someone they like better. It wasn't anything you did. don't get discouraged. Onwards and upwards. Agree 100%! Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 You are doing better. Your social and dating skills are getting much better. Unfortunately, stuff like this happens even to the most UN-confused daters. Sometimes people go back to their exes, sometimes they meet someone they like better. It wasn't anything you did. don't get discouraged. Onwards and upwards. Yes, thats the right attitude! I agree. Thank you jenny, thats a positive thought. Gather a positive, unstoppable momentum. Keep your eyes on your goal, don't let these pitfalls deter you from going after what you want. keep faith! Link to comment
JadedStar Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 It's frustrating but she was very pleasant and respectful of you, at least we have to give her that. These things just happen CD. She was probably also seeing others. Remember,you were (just yesterday!!) also seeking a cute nerdy girl whilst pursuing her, so surely you can understand? What if you found a cute nerdy girl you liked better? Then it would be YOU sending this girl that email. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 CD, I know it's hard not to take it personal. But you have to learn to not take dating so seriously. You did great, the signs were there that she was interested, and then like a flick, she changed her plans when nothing else changed. Don't beat yourself up! Do tell her she disappointed all of us though! Ppppfff... stupid dating........ How about that girl you talked to last night. Whatcha thinking bout that? Link to comment
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