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I just punched my ex in the face


hers

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See my past thread about having my ex's dog for an update if you need it.

 

I wanted to have my ex's dog while he was moving b/c I really really missed the dog, and I thought I'd be helping him out. The night I picked up the dog, my ex poured on some BS about how he misses and loves me and doesn't want to hurt me anymore and I'm so worth everything, yada yada words words. Well, after a fight about how to get the dog back to him, he came to pick up the dog just a bit ago.

 

I told him I felt he owed me an apology for telling me he loves me and feeding me all the crap and then knowingly hurting me by sleeping with t he other girl the next day. He told me I didn't deserve anything. After a few minutes of going back and forth, he went to leave, and I opened his car door and punched him and walked off. I immediately started shaking and crying. It was right out of the scene of The Real World in Seattle when that dude opened up the car door to punch Irene, exactly liek that. I'm a reality TV abuse star. Great.

 

I can't believe how crazy I am. I am literally psycho. Someone please help me.

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I feel I need to apologize to him but he couldnt give me the courtesy of an apology for hurting me like that so I almost feel that he doesn't deserve one for this.

 

No one deserves to be hit like that.

 

You can't control how he treats you, but you can control yourself. You punched him. That was wrong. But it's not the end of the world, just say to him that you overreacted and that you're sorry for punching him, then leave it at that.

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Id like to punch my ex in the face, guess thats why he hasnt moved out after 2 months of being broken up....he is scared! It sucks, but sometimes anger and pain just takes over....I destroyed my exs drumset with a sledge hammer...it was hard to destroy something that was made to be beat on! Had he had been here.....it most likley would have been him.

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It was right out of the scene of The Real World in Seattle when that dude opened up the car door to punch Irene, exactly liek that. I'm a reality TV abuse star. Great.

 

 

Omg I was thinking the same thing. Anyways, you should apologize for punching him though. I think you should stay away from him.

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I can't apologize to him. It won't work. He'd probably just lash out at me and say awful things. I deserve to hear them.

 

So just leave a message apologizing. You don't have to listen to him lashing out. Just get your message accross, that's the only important thing.

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her smudders I suspected you were a little off when you said you didn't want james Gandolfinni's chunky butt, but that being said, you need therapy, but not because you hit this guy. He is scum.

 

I swear, the way you talk, you talk like you know me in real life or something. You freak me out!

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Id like to punch my ex in the face, guess thats why he hasnt moved out after 2 months of being broken up....he is scared! It sucks, but sometimes anger and pain just takes over....I destroyed my exs drumset with a sledge hammer...it was hard to destroy something that was made to be beat on! Had he had been here.....it most likley would have been him.

 

Thats just mean they cost over 800 bucks. Unless it was used and cost 300-400 ehh haha.

 

It is a good out let of anger to use sticks with though.=]

 

I heard my sisters bf cheated on her, I wanted to kick his balls. LOL

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I'm just so angry with myself. No one deserves to be hit physically, but this isn't the first time I did it.

 

I don't feel like he deserves an apology from me for hitting him b/c he said I don't deserve an apology from him for his knowingly hurting me. Am I wrong for not apologizing b/c of that reason?

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I don't feel like he deserves an apology from me for hitting him b/c he said I don't deserve an apology from him for his knowingly hurting me. Am I wrong for not apologizing b/c of that reason?

 

In my opinion, yes.

 

On some level, you are actually rationalizing being as bad as him.

 

Do you want to live on a t!t-for-tat level with people, which they set up per their own lousy rules, or do you wish to act upon your own sense of conscience?

 

Your conscience says that he was wrong to hurt you because a person shouldn't knowingly hurt another person. And your conscience also says that a person shouldn't physically attack another person. There is NO justification for either act. There is no excuse for either. They don't even excuse eachother! Is your conscience following along so far? If so, then you are not crazy.

 

But you need to act on that part of your conscience that caused YOU to be the one to violate your principles. It's too late to take back what you did to "even the score", but it isn't too late to express your remorse.

 

I know you're very conflicted about apologizing to him, understandably, because of his reaction. His reaction is NOT up to you. Don't go in thinking you should be punished (either by hearing him verbally abuse you more, or being locked up -- I hope you can see the conflict of feeling you don't owe him an apology, yet also thinking you deserve to be locked up!) Do go in thinking that justice is being served by you saying, "Whatever hurt me, there was no excuse for my punching you and I'm sorry." What he does with that is HIS call, and out of your control. And if he wants to take advantage of it by verbally abusing you after that, say, "I called to say I'm sorry I physically lashed out at you, but I'm not hear to listen to all of this," and hang up.

 

What about the Step of "making amends"? That's for you to fulfill, not him.

 

Drop the pride.

 

Furthermore, I think if you don't apologize to him, subconsciously you are giving yourself just a little more approval/license to use physical violence in the future, to express outrage; I'd be more concerned with that, especially since this isn't the first time. It's an escalation of what you've already done before...which I find a bit worrisome.

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I think maybe, someday down the line, after both of you have had therapy and have healed, then maybe you can apoligize to him. But if you think by saying you're sorry, that he'll "win", or draw you back in, abuse you verbally or physically, etc, then you don't have to. As long as you forgive him in your heart and forgive yourself, it's the same deal in my book.

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