"a week late" (but I'm irregular anyway)

My periods are not regular. They can vary as much as 46 days to 29 days, although they usually stay around 31-38 days. I chart mine on link removed and so it is pretty irregular.

My last period started on June 15th and went until June 19th. I had sex (with a condom and nothing was out of the ordinary) up until July 7th. The sex we had was not as regular as usual either. For instance, we had sex only twice during the fourth of July weekend (Saturday and then the Monday when we got back). No sex after July 7th! I stayed really horny until July 11th when all horniness stopped. I spotted that day, got crampy, and broke out on my face. That's happened one other time in my life (March 2007) and I was still a virgin. My cycle was unusually long that time around too! Same symptoms the entire cycle too...

I think I'm going to wait until Monday to do a test.

I'm nervous since my breasts are not sensitive...my face has not broken out. Usually they do! They only thing that is showing up is some PMS mood swings. The ones were you cry for no reason...

My friends say not to worry. I'm slightly worried about it.

I want to get a IUD (copper) since I do not want to deal with hormones. I can't get that since I need to get a pap smear done before. I've never had a pap smear...my mom refuses to let me do it telling me that if I'm not having sex I have nothing to worry about. She's an ultra conservative Christian type...telling her I am not so innocent is not a good decision to make. I would be disowned. I've only been having sex for a few months so I figure all will be okay until I get on my own insurance in 4 months and go get one done. Anyway...our insurance company has told me every 6 months that I NEED TO GET THIS DONE. She throws the letters away reminding me. But...anyway...

Ugh...living in this house is hell. This little thing she is doing will probably hurt my insurance in the future! ](*,) Almost 23 years old and no record of a pap smear...

If I'm not pregnant I think I will get on some temporary BC like the NuvaRing. How do I go about getting that so that my parents won't know? Meaning...I can't use insurance! And I am probably expected to pay the full amount since college students aren't covered to get it for cheap anymore. I might have my BF help pay.

Help!

EDIT: Here is my cycles since 2006

period start - cycle length

15 Jun 2008 - none recorded

14 May 2008 - 32 days

8 Apr 2008 - 36 days

7 Mar 2008 - 32 days

31 Jan 2008 - 36 days

31 Dec 2007 - 31 days

28 Nov 2007 - 33 days

28 Oct 2007 - 31 days

12 Sep 2007 - 46 days

14 Aug 2007 - 29 days

12 Jul 2007 - 33 days

9 Jun 2007 - 33 days

5 May 2007 - 35 days

26 Mar 2007 - 40 days

22 Feb 2007 - 32 days

20 Jan 2007 - 33 days

15 Dec 2006 - 36 days

7 Nov 2006 - 38 days

4 Oct 2006 - 34 days

28 Aug 2006 - 37 days

21 Jul 2006 - 38 days

19 Jun 2006 - 32 days

15 May 2006 - 35 days

Anyone? I'm so nervous...I'm going through swings of nervousness and then calmness. Part of me says it's nothing the other part is worried to death. I want to cry...

What troubles me the most is that you say your mother will not let you have a pap smear. You are 22 years old and this is not up to your mother to decide.

Part of being grown up to have sex is being grown up enough to know your own body.

You might start by contacting your local health department, the one run by your county if you are in the USA.. They can probably give you a low or no cost pap smear. Pregnancy or not, this is something that should be done on a regular basis. It is just as important as any other health checkup.

By doing a pap they can check to make sure that everything is normal. If something is abnormal it could signal an infection of some kind. Not all infections are sexually related.

Please think about doing this soon. They can even prescribe birth control pills for you if that is what you want and discuss all things birth control with you.

As for you being late, you are on the right track. Take a test if you are a week late.

Better yet... Make that phone call and go to see them. As part of your routine physical they can do a pregnancy test. Pregnant or not you probably should go if you are 22 years old even if you had never had sex before.

Thats my 2 cents worth.

She won't let me go get one and insists that virgins don't need them. I told her the insurance company said that even if I am still a virgin that I need to get it done. She laughed at it and threw it away saying that my sister Becky (26) never had a pap smear done. I don't think my mom has them done as often as she should. She never goes to any of her insurance recommended checks.

I bickered at her yesterday about the lack of care she seems to have over my health. Nothing I tell her convinces her that I need a pap smear done. She seems to think that they are only for people who are having sex with many partners.

This is the same woman that waited 10 years to get my eczema diagnosed. I truly hate my mother for her stubbornness to have medical things done. I kept bringing up that something was wrong with skin and finally I got it through to her head. Her reasoning after a year was that it obviously was contagious since no one else is suffering from it and it hasn't spread any. Completely ignoring the fact that it was covering my entire torso! That it was so itchy that I was scratching until it bled.

Now...now I'm screwed if I end up pregnant. I sent my BF a message telling him that I am worried about my missing period. And that this is a wake up call for getting on something more than a condom. I don't even know if I would want to keep it or terminate it and keep it to ourselves. If I catch it early we should be able to do a medical abortion...but I dunno. Neither of know where we stand on the issue.

Either way I think I am going to refuse to have sex until I get something more reliable. Why did I trust a condom? can't live with this worry...I guess I thought that condoms were enough.

Maybe I'm just worried but the wait is killing me. I wish I could cry one someone's shoulder.

you DO need one, to check for signs of cervical cancer, or incase there are any unusual bumps, etc inside.

i have to go for one myself soon.

i dont really know what to advice about the period being late issue. i myself am always irregular. and this month itself my boobs where unusually tender/sensitive 2 weeks before my period. so it could be nothing to worry about for you.

oh and i can definitly see where your coming from with the whole condom issue ha. thats another reason sex is on hold for me till i find a BC method which I am comfy with.

I've been having sex since February with no problems. Been using a condom every time and when we first started we were careless and would do it without a condom and then put it on later. Now...now I barely have any sex this cycle and I worry.

I think I may call up my local health department and ask them for an estimate on a PAP smear and an IUD. They say it's on a sliding scale so maybe I could get it all done cheap. Or maybe I just tell my BF to wait until I graduate before we do anything again. That I am worried and I don't trust condoms completely but he can have all the blow jobs he wants. I have an understanding BF who probably won't take it personally.

I feel like such an idiot though. I mean...if I'm not pregnant then I feel like an idiot for worrying but if I am pregnant then I feel like an idiot for having sex with just a condom.

But I have no money...I recently bought a new car and my dad wants me to pay him back quickly. My hours at my job are being cut down to 8 hours a week in a month (from 30-34). I am being harassed to find a full time job but no one wants to hire me yet since I graduate in December. And the one place that has been looking at me is taking their time and my connection into the company was promoted and moving away in a month!

Ugh! I'd give anything to have my period start right now. Can I take a p-test now? What brand is best?

i'm not sure? when was your last period?

i think you may just be getting worked up over nothing just like i tend to lol. EVERYTIME i have sex. im a bit relieved we're not having it right now to be honest.

and yes, bj's, handjobs, other forms of foreplay aren't bad. sure it's not sex but since your bf is understanding, i'm very sure it won't be a problem.

i'm not sure? when was your last period?

i think you may just be getting worked up over nothing just like i tend to lol. EVERYTIME i have sex. im a bit relieved we're not having it right now to be honest.

and yes, bj's, handjobs, other forms of foreplay aren't bad. sure it's not sex but since your bf is understanding, i'm very sure it won't be a problem.

My last period was on June 15, 2008. Right now I am at...what day 39? 40? I had a feeling that when I randomly bled in the middle of my cycle that something was not right. I felt like I shouldn't have had sex that weekend...like a voice in the back of my head saying it was a bad idea. Maybe I am getting worked up over nothing. My face has started to break out a little bit so maybe a sign that my period will start soon? My cycles may not be regular but my symptoms usually are! That's how I keep track of them so well.

I'm sorry if I'm so worried but I just feel like something is wrong. I guess it started a month ago and maybe it's all in my head.

I think I might look into the IUD for now...ask my BF if we can split the costs for now and I will pay him back when I start a new job. My b-day is coming up...maybe I'll say that's all I want for my b-day and Christmas. I think I will call planned parenthood tomorrow and ask them how much money this will cost me. I want to get on BC, I really do but I feel like my parent's beliefs are holding me back from doing the responsible thing!

I think you should make an appointment to see a doctor about your irregular periods - use this as the reason with your mother - After all, you could have endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome etc. and not know it. Your health would be better managed by a doctor who would investigate, and then act accordingly - perhaps your hormones are a little off, and all you need is a pill to regulate them - either way, You need to get medical advice and if your mother will not be supportive, you will have to do it alone.

I am sure there would be free clinics etc. if you are worried about the health insurance side of things. Sometimes even pregnancy clinics will help out with this type of stuff.

If she is an ultra-conservative type, she might warm to you mentioning that your fertility could be at risk because you have all the signs of disease XYZ (poly-cystic ovary syndrome, endometriosis, cervical or ovarian cancer).Does she believe a woman's only job is to get married and bear kids? This might work with her. Why not make up some other symptoms that would require a doctor's attention that may sound a little more serious?

Bottom line -- what does your mom really really hold near and dear to her heart when it comes to her daughters and their roles in life? What does she want for you? In order to sell the features and benefits of seeing a doc regarding this, you will need to find out what would sell your mom. What motivates her?

Is my period really that irregular that I need to have it checked out?

Is my period really that irregular that I need to have it checked out?

 

I don't know, but it sounds like you need to use whatever you have in your 'arsenal' to get your mom to relent on this issue. So exaggerate away, even if it's not that bad!!!

 

Be creative and do what you need to do to get healthcare. Or you can just sit and let your mom run your life forever. You got to get started on your independence at some point. Do what you need to do.

I don't know, but it sounds like you need to use whatever you have in your 'arsenal' to get your mom to relent on this issue. So exaggerate away, even if it's not that bad!!!

 

Be creative and do what you need to do to get healthcare. Or you can just sit and let your mom run your life forever. You got to get started on your independence at some point. Do what you need to do.

You're correct...although I'm also free in 5 months. I've argued over the issue and my mom has made it clear that doctor's are in a way unneeded unless you are in severe pain. I wouldn't be surprised if she died of cancer through lack of care to get certain tests done.

Example, I went to someone's house for 4th of July (yeah, she actually let me stay away overnight!). The lady who owned the house ended up being rushed to the hospital for stomach pains. Cause: colon cancer and it had spread throughout her entire body! She did have testing done that said she needed to get this taken care of years before but she never did. Her impression was pretty much like 'oh, well, life happens.' This could have been prevented and treated and now this woman is dying of cancer. What if I get cancer that could have been prevented? I know someone who had had only one sex partner (married) and underwent chemo for cancer down there! She was fairly young too.

I think I'm going to get this done (pap smear) at PP and get some real BC. Should I try and get an IUD or should I get on hormones?

Update on the scare: My face has started to break out a little later and that usually means that my period is on its way. My face is pretty much acne free except during period time. This has been a long cycle!

I think I'm going to get this done (pap smear) at PP and get some real BC. Should I try and get an IUD or should I get on hormones?

 

Update on the scare: My face has started to break out a little later and that usually means that my period is on its way. My face is pretty much acne free except during period time. This has been a long cycle!

 

Sounds like things are looking up for you. Well if you do BC then you'll have to hide the evidence from Mommy Dearest, that's the only real downside I can think of. Hope you ain't got any wire hangers around. Make sure to hang your dresses on the ribbony padded ones and hide the Comet. Anyway, back to the topic - I don't know much about IUDs but I have seen others post and say they are dreamy. I like my hormones though lol.

See, I'm tempted to get on hormones temporarily since an IUD is expensive! Unless my BF were to help pay for it, I don't think I could spend the necessary amount for one. But at the same time...I don't want to experiment with the hormones until I find one that works for me.

I've been able to hid things in my room. I have a book under the mattress titled "Tickle his Pickle." My friend bought it for me as soon as she had heard that I had lost my virginity...and as a way to tell me that my BF wants BJs since she hard heard I was nervous at giving them. We are all friends so...

That book got moved after 5 months to my BF's place so that if he wants something different, we can just see what fun techniques to try next. ^_^

wow, i see we're the same age.. i guess my dad is just as overprotective as your mum lol. not to get off topic but he never lets me stay anywhere (well accept family) either.

that's just one of the downsides when living home. thought i was the only 22 yr old with over protective parent.s

wow, i see we're the same age.. i guess my dad is just as overprotective as your mum lol. not to get off topic but he never lets me stay anywhere (well accept family) either.

that's just one of the downsides when living home. thought i was the only 22 yr old with over protective parent.s

Nope! Though my parents seem to think I am innocent. I stayed away from home for an entire weekend. I told them I stayed in one room on the top floor and that my BF stayed in one room on the bottom floor. Truth is...we stayed in the room upstairs together and it was uncomfortably warm so the next few nights we slept in another room.

But yeah...another 22 year old whose parents won't let go.

She won't let me go get one and insists that virgins don't need them. I told her the insurance company said that even if I am still a virgin that I need to get it done. She laughed at it and threw it away saying that my sister Becky (26) never had a pap smear done. I don't think my mom has them done as often as she should. She never goes to any of her insurance recommended checks.

Just go get it done. She can't stop you. It's important for you to get that done both for insurance and for your health.

You are 22 years old and it is time that you stopped allowing her to control your life.

you do not have to throw it up in her face. Just call a clinic and make an appointment. You do not even have to tell her.. you are a GROWN woman now for all legal purposes.

Go in and have a routine physical done. While you are there you can ask them all of the questions that you want to. You also stated in your post that you have your own car... Nothing holding you back but you.

This is YOUR life not hers.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but the choice is yours.

I'm going to add in that I think your irregular cycles are definitely something to ask about. I had really irregular periods as well, and was told a lot that there could be something causing it. I eventually (after 6 years of being told they were still 'settling down' which is supposed to take 2 years) went on the pill, and my life is immeasurably easier. I was never given a reason why my periods were so different every month, and it does worry me from time to time. I'd get checked for this reason alone.

Also, as a complete aside, if you're irregular, I think you'd find it very handy to use a menstrual cup (try the Mooncup) instead of tampons or pads. You insert it kind of like a tampon, but you only need to change it when you go to bed and when you get up. It's small so you don't need to lug around a stash of pads or tampons etc., all month just in case you come on while you're not home, you just have this little thing, which has it's own bag. I know I sound like I'm some kind of salesperson, but before going on the pill, this was the one thing that made all the uncertainty a little better, never having to worry if I had something on me if I was out and came on! Just a little extra peace of mind. Cheaper too! £20 ($40) and they last 10 years. Think how quickly you can spend that on pads etc.

Another also - I'd take a pregnancy test after the average cycle has passed. This is 34 days (I think, I just worked it out and immediately forgot, and this is the number I'm most certain it was..) It can't hurt.

Hey Girl,

I can't get that since I need to get a pap smear done before. I've never had a pap smear...my mom refuses to let me do it telling me that if I'm not having sex I have nothing to worry about.

I am a nurse and I can tell that you should absolutely have a pelvic exam and pap smear done by age 18 (and earlier if you are sexually active) and every year there after. You don't have to be sexually active to have abnormal pap smears and get cervical dysplasia or cancer.

Aside from that, other posters are right. At 22 you do not need your mother's permission to have a pelvic exam and get on birth control, regardless of whether you live with her or not.

I don't know where you live, but in the US there is this handy little law called HIPAA that protects your health care information from anyone you don't specifically give permission to access it- including your parents.

Where do you live?

I'll get my irregular period looked into if when my period shows up. Still no period...I think I might go finish writing my paper tonight and then buy a pregnancy test on my way back from work. I'm less stressed now that I know I don't have to take a final on Monday in my class. But still...my mom may blow it off but I am 22 years old! My period should have settled by now into a predictable routine.

If no pregnancy then I wait it out for a few more days and try again.

Oh, and I do have a cup. Been using one for 2 years now. I LOVE my Diva Cup! ^_^ Seriously? I love it so much that when my BF's friend asked me what I used we found out we both had a Diva. We chatted (I was slightly drunk BTW) for 30 minutes about how great it is...in front of my BF! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I usually guess and stick it in and then check it until my period comes.

I don't know where you live, but in the US there is this handy little law called HIPAA that protects your health care information from anyone you don't specifically give permission to access it- including your parents.

 

Where do you live?

I live in Oklahoma. How exactly does HIPAA work? I mean I do have health insurance but it's my parent's health insurance. I mean if privacy is a thing I might go to my school's center and see about getting these tests done.

I live in Oklahoma. How exactly does HIPAA work? I mean I do have health insurance but it's my parent's health insurance. I mean if privacy is a thing I might go to my school's center and see about getting these tests done.

HIPAA:

link removed

basically you as an adult have a right to go and be examined and not tell anyone and your mother cannot and will not find out unless you tell her. You don't need her permission or consent, and it's none of her business.

Do you know your insurance policy #? Do you have your own card?

Here are some Planned Parenthood centers in OK:

link removed

Most of them do subsidized health care based on salary.

You can get pap smears and birth control at like a free clinic and your parents wont know about it