Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: My Christian Girlfriend

  1. #1
    Ohne

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    1

    My Christian Girlfriend

    Ok, I am agnostic basically. I have wanted to be Christian and tried being Christian but i felt nothing. It was a want for the fulfillment and purpose, but i don't really believe and short of witnessing a miracle, i don't think i ever will. My girlfriend knows this... kinda. she is pretty religious and cant really understand how i can: 1)not believe 2)not be horribly depressed without a reason for my life 3)not be afraid of hell. she just doesn't get it. It's difficult... and it doesn't help that we're pretty committed and every time we talk about it she ends up in tears or very close to it. I am pretty sure she fears for my immortal soul... What the hell am I supposed to do here? It's so hard seeing her be so upset by it, especially since it means nothing to me other than that it makes her sad. Do I give up on the relationship? I don't think I could if i wanted to... but... I dunno. I considered going back to acting on my want for that faith, but I'd just be living a dream with no reality in it. It would make her happy, but if she found out it'd just hurt her more.

  2. #2
    Angel_baby
    Platinum Member Angel_baby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Missouri
    Age
    32
    Posts
    1,262
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    You are right, defiantly don't act like you are into Christianity if you aren't. It will feel like you lied to her if/when she finds out.

    What you two need to do is sit down and calmly talk about your differences in beliefs. You both need to respect what each other chooses to believe. From your post it sounds like you do respect her beliefs. I understand that she may be upset because she believes your soul is in danger of going to "hell" or whatever. But she really should try to understand that maybe with time your values will change but right now this is how you are and that should be respected for what you believe, as you also respect hers.

  3. #3
    Gracelove
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,788
    Gender
    Female
    It sounds like the two of you are incompatible.

  4. #4
    FortunateOne
    FortunateOne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    SoCal., USA
    Posts
    1,707
    Gender
    Male
    This is a time when you seriously consider moving on since in your partner's faith you both must be equally joked; there's no bargaining, negotiating, understanding or respectful disagreeing with this issue. In both your eyes you're bringing each other down and will only lead to resentment. Walk away and find a more compatible partner that fits your lifestyle.

  5. #5
    rexxer21

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    1
    Do you love her? If you do, then fake it. I wouldn't give that advice if you adhered to a different religion than Christianity (i.e., Judaism, Islam, Hinduism), but if you're not religious at all you're not actually betraying anything.

    I wouldn't call myself agnostic, but I'm a far cry from a "devout Christian." My girlfriend is very religious and very involved in her church; she leads a bible study group, prays a lot, and is genuinely concerned for the spiritual welfare of others. I, on the other hand, only attend services to make her happy. She would never ask me to go to church with her and she wouldn't resent me if I chose not to, but I know it's important to her and I love her, so I suck it up every Sunday and Tuesday (bible study) and do it with a smile.

    Honestly, it's part of being a man. Cowboy up and make your girl happy. If you think you'll have a hard time doing that for her, then you probably don't really love her. So, if you do love her, show some interest in her faith, go sit in a pew, and let her see you pray every once in a while (even if you are only praying for the Celtics to cover the spread...she'll never know). No matter how terrible you feel about faking interest in something important to her, just drink some whiskey to rub that * * * * out, and do it anyways...I'm sure she's worth the trouble and discomfort. Right?

  6. #6
    Mutley
    Platinum Member Mutley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    48
    Posts
    2,774
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by FortunateOne [Register to see the link]
    This is a time when you seriously consider moving on since in your partner's faith you both must be equally joked;
    ??????

    Yea, this may not work. Unless you can still support her someway....

    Do you think you could still attend services with her...just for support?

  7. #7
    waveseer
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    11,826
    Thanked
    1
    This goes against how I normally do things, but I can see the wisdom in it. I would go sit in the cold and watch a game with the man I love even if I had no interest in the game whatsoever. I would cook asparagus even though I hate it (and hate the smell). There are so many things I would do that I wouldn't otherwise do it's difficult to count them all. I guess if I were pressed I'd have to say I those things are not my preference, but because they make the man happy, they really are my preference because it makes me happy to make him happy. Would I expect the same treatment in reverse? I would have to think about that.

  8. #8
    StretchGee
    Gold Member StretchGee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    USA
    Age
    51
    Posts
    666
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by Ohne [Register to see the link]
    Ok, I am agnostic basically. I have wanted to be Christian and tried being Christian but i felt nothing. It was a want for the fulfillment and purpose, but i don't really believe and short of witnessing a miracle, i don't think i ever will.
    How old are you and your girlfriend?

    You say you are "basically agnostic", so that leaves some room for belief in a higher power. I'm forty-something and still could say I have serious doubts...but that is human (even Christ had doubt).

    If you are young, you can probably work out a compromise. There is something to be said for a common belief in a relationship - but if you have some notion of exploring a higher power then the 'religious' aspect is simply quibbling over the rules applied by humans.

  9.  

Top Threads
Thinking about proposing without a ring.
So it's been a bit over three years now that I've been seeing my girlfriend. I'm really not a big-on-marriage guy altogether (certainly not opposed
Can't get over girlfriends past
I've been dating this girl for about 5 months and its going great. The only issue is that I can't get over her sexual history. There are several
How come I can't magnify the good?
I've noticed a pattern in myself as I get older; that I tend to inflate and ruminate over the small things and overlook the good, specifically when
Don't want to break up, terrified of moving in and her anger
So my girlfriend and I have been through a lot in the last five or six years, with many breakups and ups and downs but finally I feel like we're both
Is he still in love with his EX?
I met this great guy at work (last November), he just got out of a painful breakup (last September) during that time he kept communicating with his
Think of the last time you insulted your partner....
Did you: [LIST] [*]Do it spitefully, or did it just come out? [*]Did you think you were fair? [*]Did you apologize and validate that you hurt
Herpes
So someone i know just found out They have herpes. Tbey have been in a Relationship for a little over a year And never been with anyone else She

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Is he still in love with his EX?
I met this great guy at work (last November), he just got out of a painful breakup (last September) during that time he kept communicating with his
Can't get over girlfriends past
I've been dating this girl for about 5 months and its going great. The only issue is that I can't get over her sexual history. There are several
I dont like my girlfriends new piercing
So my girlfriend went and got nipple piercings knowing that i didnt like them and didnt tell me she was gonna get them. They are a really big turn
What I am to her ?
hey guys I want some counseling .. I met a girl online .. At first she said that she doesn't wanna fall for me and we will be just friends .. I said
I want my family back
Hi, I was dumped on New Years Eve by my ex girlfriend of 8 years whom I have a 6 year old with. We have been arguing for the past few months prior to
Anxious and depressed about being 32 yo and not married
I could really use some kind and encouraging words right now because I wake up every morning to an intense feeling of pain because I am alone. I'm 32
Ex (dumper) delays giving keys back. Why?
First time poster. Been viewing threads somewhat regularly for a few months now and figured I'd get a few opinions. I'll give a little of the
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •