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Was I Raped?


jessica_girl

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Me and a guy skipped class together and went to his house. We were just sitting around when he unzipped my pants. I stoped him an told him no and that I didnt want to. He moved my arms and continued anyways. I didnt physicaly push him away or anything because I knew he had a history of violence. The whole time it was happening, I was motionless. My mind seemed to be lost, and my body felt numb. Before he did this I had been a virgine. I had to wait a month to see if I was pregnant or not, and thankfully I wasnt. It hasnt even been five months since it happened. I blame myself for it happening, and when school starts back again I will have to see him. I only want to make peace with myself and find out if it was rape or not.

 

Someone please help me out and tell me if it was or not.

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jessica girl - look , blaming yourself isnt gonna make you feel better. Nor is not forgiving yourself.

A few questions before i give you my opinion on if it was rape or not:

How old are you?

How old is he?

What state do you live in?

 

Also in the future - think about who's company you keep. If someone has a violent past that would be a red flag!

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Well im thinking because of the time and what happened that you havent really been able to think so clearly of what happened. I had something like that happen to me when my ex broke up with me. Im also a virgin and i dont think you want to read my post but it kinda was this whole crazy thing ive had to live thru. Im not sure if there is anyone you could talk to about this because its kinda hard for you to know what to do. It would help if you could press charges or let someone that would know what to do with situations like that. I will just say that if you think u can face him then it probably isnt going to be so bad for you with school. I would say that if you cant then you should do the best you can to not be around this person because it can cause alot of pain and having to deal with the past again.

 

I would say you dont want to be alone with someone that had that history but if she is already blaming herself then i would say she already kinda understands that or at least knows that she did something that wasnt so good. The thing is no one has the right to forcefully do anything like that to anyone else. Also she said no so by then i dont think if anyone else would keep on trying that she was probably scared. You just have to keep telling yourself that no one should ever do that to anyone else and that it wasnt because you did something wrong, its not because your not good enough, and it also isnt because he deserved to do that because you didnt stop him. Every person when they are put in situations that can be as extreme as those will probably shut down because its too overwhelming.

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I was 13 then and now im 14...he is 17. I live in arkansas. The reason I chose to be alone with him is only for the fact i never figured this would happen to me. Its one of those things that you see on tv but never figure it will happen to you. Soon after this happened he got sent off and I havent seen him or heard from him since, but he will be back for the beginning of the year and the next two years to come. I know im young and I never should have put myself in this position, but not even I deserved what he did.

 

I have only told four of my very close friends, but they dont even know all of everything. I have thought to get help, but how does one tell their parents about things like this. Since everything happened, I have nightmares, adn I blame myself.

 

Right after it happened, I tryed to OD on tylonal. As you can tell it didnt work. I also started to cut myself. I stopped with everything like that, but sometimes I still think about it. It seems as when he did that to me, he took my whole life and made it seem as though I was never even here.

All I want is some kind of peace from everything that has happened.

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if you're asking the question it was indeed rape.

 

and to top it off he raped you while you were in shock. Dispicable.

 

It was not your fault, check your health and consider reporting this. To make things worse... you were underage.

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Yes sweetie, you were raped. You should tell an adult and talk about this.

 

Don't bottle it up. It will come out eventually, as you can see with the ODing on typenol and the cutting. Is there someone you trust to talk to about it?

 

IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. Get some help. Please. Remember - IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

 

Is there a rape crisis center/hotline in your area? You are so very very young to be dealing with such a trauma. Please call them.

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Thank you every one. I have been thinking to talk to my someone about maybe taking me to counseling. I have thought about telling my parents but then I think and wonder if that is the right thing to do. My dad understands that I have many problems, and he doesnt ask what they all are. I have thought about counseling at shcool but last time I went there for a problem, she told my parents. Thank you everyone, and maybe now I can try to stop blameing myself. Other than my parents there is no one I can talk to unless my dad decides to take me to counseling.

 

 

No there is no rape crisis center in my town. I live in a small town, compared to others.

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me and my dad arent that close...we fight alot but I think if I were to ask him he would try to get me help...maybe find some one that I could talk to... My only problem with talking to people is that im always afraid that they will go and tell someone...im hoping soon I can find peace...now that I know I dont only have myself on my side. Before I thought if people knew they would say I was stupid and it was my fault, or that I just made a stupid mistake and that I know better next time. But now that I have heard from people that its not my fault and that he did something wrong not me, maybe I can get help from there. Maybe not be so affraid.

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me and my dad arent that close...we fight alot but I think if I were to ask him he would try to get me help...maybe find some one that I could talk to... My only problem with talking to people is that im always afraid that they will go and tell someone...im hoping soon I can find peace...now that I know I dont only have myself on my side. Before I thought if people knew they would say I was stupid and it was my fault, or that I just made a stupid mistake and that I know better next time. But now that I have heard from people that its not my fault and that he did something wrong not me, maybe I can get help from there. Maybe not be so affraid.

 

Honey don't you be afraid. This boy raped you. You did NOTHING wrong. Why don't you print out this thread and show it to your dad if you can't put what you want to say into words?

 

Fear is a horrible thing to have, but to NOT tell someone and to NOT get help will just make things worse.

 

What do you think? Do you think you could print out this thread and show it to SOMEONE? An adult that you trust? Perhaps your dad?

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I might be able to...but idk. I really do want help and ive thought about calling him for the last few days but im just affraid. Im gonna try to talk to him. I hope things will go ok but you never know with my family.

 

How about an aunt? A cousin? Is there ANYONE who is older than you who you can talk to who can get you help who you trust?

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Is summer school going on where you live? Is there a particular teacher you are close to who is teaching? If not, is there a particular teacher, as amure suggested, that you are close to who you can talk to? Do you feel like you can wait until school starts again, or do you feel like you really need help now?

 

If you feel like you CANNOT wait, PLEASE tell your dad. PLEASE tell someone. DON'T try to hurt yourself again. YOU did NOTHING WRONG. REMEMBER THAT.

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No means no! If you told him no and he continued then YES...you were rapped. I am not going to ask you why this and why that...it is a little to late for that. You need to get some help and you are correct you did not deserve this. No one deserves to be violated. I too had it happened to me and it is something that you have to live with fro the rest of your life. Trying to kill yourself is not going to do anything but cause pain for your family. Do you and your mom have an open relationship or do you have an older sister to talk to? The reason I am asking because your family needs to know so they could help you through this. It is going to be a constant battle. Have you been to the doctor's yet to be tested for STDs? If not that is the first thing you need to do. Good Luck and I am so sorry that you had to experience this.

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My god father is normally a big help. I have not been to see a doctor... and it is summer at this time where i live...Me and my parents have a very bad relationship. We fight and argue all the time. Going through it alone is very difficult, and I do want help. It seems like lately, everything god happens and then something happens that makes life very hard. Ever since it all happened I have a hard trouble gettin close to people. I feel as though I try to push them away, not meaning to but i cant stop. But im tryin to talk to my dad, but he isnt answering calls from me. I am tryin to get help, but it seems like no one cares...

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My god father is normally a big help. I have not been to see a doctor... and it is summer at this time where i live...Me and my parents have a very bad relationship. We fight and argue all the time. Going through it alone is very difficult, and I do want help. It seems like lately, everything god happens and then something happens that makes life very hard. Ever since it all happened I have a hard trouble gettin close to people. I feel as though I try to push them away, not meaning to but i cant stop. But im tryin to talk to my dad, but he isnt answering calls from me. I am tryin to get help, but it seems like no one cares...

 

Talk to your Godfather. That's what he's there for.

 

Can you call him tonite?

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I don't think blaming the victim makes much sense now...she said he had a history of violence...she probably did not assume she might be raped. If she had been sitting on the couch naked alone in the room with him and she said "NO"...he should have stopped. It's on him, not her. She needs to report him...he is going to do it again to some other nieve female.

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no i cant call my godfather tonight...his phone isnt working properly. the only thing i can do at the moment is email him but he cant answer right off...

 

Well, honey the important thing is that you get in touch with him and tell him. Whatever way you feel is best for you. Post again and let me know how that works out, okay?

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