I would like to get back together with my ex. I am going to be fighting a battle to not resume my old patterns of being needy and controlling and just 'too much' of a girlfriend. Im thinking he might be more amicable to the idea if I were to suggest that we casually date (no commitment, no title) for a bit and just see how it goes. Meanwhile I will be showcasing the new me who is confident and has a life of her own outside of him and is a pretty terrific girl.
My only problem would be that it is already going to take some real effort on my part to not be the clingy chick he broke up with. And if I knew he were treating this relationship as casual, I think that insecurity would be that much harder to ignore. And even if he is not, in reality, seeing someone else, I may suspect that he is and I almost feel like I could be setting myself up for failure.
Would I be "settling" to accept this type of relationship? What if I put a time limit on it (say a month) and when the month is up, I tell him - "look, we have been having a great time. I'm so glad to have you in my life and I would really like us to get back together." And then he can choose whether or not he is on board.
I would love to have him back, but not at any cost. So I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not?? On the flip side, it can be a probationary period for me to really get in there and put the "new me" to the test. I think that even after, if he decided that he did not want to persue exclusivity, I would be ok with that because all along I would have been persuing my own life and creating my own happiness - separate from him.
Any words of advice from my fellow ENA ers??