i just want to know

i have extrememly ugly big scars from cutting. Ive quit and am moving on. But i hate the scars, everytime i look at them i feel hurt and painful. I can't listen to my beloved music anymore. The last time i actually listened to music was when i was cutting. My scars are really visible. Ive been putting medicine on them and covering them up with makeup as best i can. I dont know how much more i can take. Sometimes i wonder why i have to deal with this. I used to have such pretty clean arms, and now they are full of lines and thick scars. I hate what ive done to them. More over i hate myself for ever cutting in the first place. At night i have nightmares about when i first started cutting, i wake up in the middle of the night crying and wishing i had stopped in the beginning. I want to be someone else. Every other cutter i know, never cut as bad as me. So they dont have as bad of scars. Some are barely visible. why are mine so bad? Please, i just want to know there are others out there, other cutters with really bad scars. I know it isn't true, but im scared ive cut deeper than most people would dare go.

Try to stop blaming yourself. It's true you did it, you can't blame anyone else for your actions, but there's not much you can do about it now. Have you ever went to counseling?

You need to stop hating yourself. It's not going to make anything any better....

Honey, I have never had the problem but I will sympathize with you. I have never tried Mederma but I hear it is great for reducing the appearance of scars. ((hugs)) I hope you find the answer you are seeking.

oh I have scars too. I'm embarrassed about them. I mean, they are light, but they are visible. in fact, when I was first with my boyfriend, he noticed them, even when it had been a while since I cut. I havent cut in years, but they are still there.

Thats awesome that you stopped and moved on from all that hun!!! Incredible! How did you stop?

About the scars, theres nothing i can suggest except continuing the work with scar reducers and makeup and just leaving it.

Have a look at this thread under SI resources for scar reducers that have worked for people here:

It takes years for scars to fade and they may never go. How about being open about your past, just leave the scars uncovered. If anyone asks, tell them you had problems in teenhood, but you moved on and they will see how strong you are for moving on.

girl friend

i thought about leaving them uncovered, but alot are still fresh. I quit a little more than a month ago. I wouldn't be so scared, but the scars are so bad. I made this post for that very reason, i want to know there are others out there with really big scars.

I'm not embarrased about my scars..

I'm not proud either..

But that's apart of where I've been,

and who I have become.

The music I listen to is

Metal, Thrash and Screamo..

and I've had to stop listening

to some of my favourite bands

because they brought me down.

It's all how you look at it.

Giving up a few bands to

better your mental health..

Showing your scars

because they are mistakes

that you have learned from.

I have learned to not be ashamed

of anything in my past.. because

it's built up who I am now..

from what I have gained from them..

Learning lessons.

I have very huge scars all over my arms and outer thighs.. I have used Palmers Cocoa Butter it has worked wonders. I also put makeup over them. They probably will never go away.. Two years and mine are still here, they are light now but still here.

My scars are horrific.. all in one spot but horrible

Hey,

I'm sorry your so troubled by the scars still, it must make moving on difficult.

But believe me, even if you don't know anyone with worst self-injury results than you- i do. Some people's self-harm kills them,. Some people take their own lives -suicide. Your scars may be bad, but at least you've moved on. And that is a huge battle to overcome! Huge congratulations there! Try to think of the scars not as a reminder of a nightmare of a time, but as a reminder of your strength. afterall, you beat it!

girl friend

i have big ugly scars too on my forearm, which i know are too big to ever really fade..i dont care about the scars myself, but the thought of other ppl seeing them is what i hate because i can guess what their reaction would be.

My close friends know about them, so when im around them i can wear what i like because theyve accepted it, but while im still living with my parents (who are majorly to blame for my SI) i have to cover them up all the time.

I'm trying some "bio-oil" thing which is meant to help get rid of scars i havent had it long and dont know if it'll work.

Anyway, i just wanted to say you're not the only one with these kinda scars, i have them too.

I have a couple of deeper scars on my arms that are visible from far. They're from 4-5 years ago, so at first they were red but they turned silver. It's very noticeable so when people ask how I got it I just say "I fell off a fence". *shrugs* I almost believe it now lol.

I have massive ugly scars.. all from si, I have had to have stitches in most of them... but I don't see the point in putting scar minimizering stuff on them.. whats the point, I am only going to make more, plus its my creation, no one can take away my scars, its like a battle field... and my self mutilation is the prize... they can take everything away from me... but my scars

I guess you might not always feel that way though.

Do you mind other people seeing them?

Have you spoken to your doctor about your arms, as you say you are not cutting & well done for that, but it has lead to another problem which is clearly making you sad/depressed..

Ask him if cosmetic surgery can help?..or there are very good scar cosmetics out there.

Try not to treat your scars as the enemy, the scars have probably saved your life from more serious harming, They are a reminder of how you felt yes but they have also proved to you they heal & so can you with the right kind of help..

Please seek the right kind of help for you..wish you luck