Has anyone actually successfully got back with an ex - how long did they break up for?

Has anyone successfully got back with an ex? How long was the break up for? and who initiated the reunion - the dumper or dumpee?

I only know of one couple that has gotten back together after a breakup and stayed together.

He cheated on her, broken up for 2 months, together for 3 years and still together.

However, the female is rather unhappy.

It never works. Never did for me or anyone I know. I don't even go there anymore. If it breaks, there was something wrong with it, even if people can't see it.

We broke up for about six months and got back together. Things are alot better now that we surrendered our resentment. Maturity plays a huge roll in reconciliation. Old issues have to remain in the past or else you make the same mistake of living in the same broken relationship. Its possible, but it takes compromising, understanding, and an apologetic/forgiving attitude from both parties.

During the 6 months did u have any contact?

Off and on, but more about business. Bills that we had both our names on, references for new places/loans. Not much about our relationship until she began to try and rip me off for emotion. I.e. saying I love you still. I let her know we could only go that "friendly" route unless we were going to get back together, otherwise im moving on and finding someone new eventually. As I began to talk to other girls she found out and called to work on things. I missed her genuinely wanted to work on things, so we did.

My boyfriend and I were broken up for almost 3 weeks ( we had been dating 6 years) and just started dating again. He basically broke up with me because i got close to another guy while dating him and, while we were broken up I slept with this new guy and my ex felt betrayed. I basically promised that i wanted to give one last try to make things better for us and this time we both do this maturely, with more effort, and i promised to leave all other guys out of the equation unless I completely ended things with him first. I basically gained my boyfriends trust back and he knows my intentions are real and he's looking forward to starting a new slate with me.

after a few years - how did that happen? u stayed in touch?

Well sure.... my ex and I did this dance a few times before we finally split for good.

Our first break up lasted for about a year, maybe less... he hurt me, but we stayed in contact, stayed "friends" and just sorta... got closer.. fell into bed together again, and picked back up. Hard to tell who initiated things. I guess I could say I definitely pushed more for things, but he was open and in full contact as well.

But as thejigsup pointed out, if it broke... there was probably something wrong. Getting back together is difficult. My ex and I had a tough time, we fought a lot. We stayed together a few years after that, and during that time had I answered this question I might have said "Yeah, sure! It works just fine, don't give up hope!" .... But here I am... our problems never disappeared. We were just stubborn, and we loved each other enough to ignore things.

After trying FIVE times.....it's done. All's I have now is a bunch of wasted time.

how many break ups did u have?

my ex and i jumped into bed but for him was a moment of weakness - but i have stopped this - been 5 months since we broke up today and 3.5 months since we last slept together

5 times - jees

Thanks Misskitty, but it's false hope....at some level I think we know it....but we just can't let go and just try to beat the odds. The house always wins, of course.

too true - false hope sucks

my ex always said who knows what will happen in the future

Dated my ex for 2.5 months (not much of a relationship) were friends for about 13 months (3 or 4 in the beginning were NC) then dated again for 11 months before ending it again. Honestly, having 6 out of 11 months together being overseas in an area where you have no alone time, and no PDA, ruins a relationship. I truly believe we'd still be together had we had a chance at a normal relationship.

My fiance and I dated back in 03 - 04, broke up in 04 and got back together last year and are happier than ever.

Congrats MS. =)

My boyfriend and I broke up earlier this year...got back together officially on Sunday. A little nervous, but I am going to try and leave the old relationship in the past and focus on creating a new one this time.

I'm back together with my bf after being broken up for six months--we're coming up on a month of being back together.

I don't know what will happen with us in the long run (though things are definitely going well at the moment!) but I don't think you can generalize to say that getting back together *never* works--it may not work in the majority of cases, but every story is different.

I got back together with my ex ex...only to figure out that there was a reason that we broke up in the first place! I ended up wasting time that could have been spent on finding someone who would be better for me. Sometimes it works out....but only when the two people have healed and grown.

You know my story Ho Tung. Obviously it didnt work out and i would say majority of the time it wont. There is that small percentage that may work though. some times a couple will never change how they act with one another no matter how long apart they are but with someone new they may act completely new.

My ex's parents dated for about a year, then broke up for 4 months or so, dated other people, then got back together and got married eventually. Fast forward 20 years, she cheats on him and then leaves him.

The thing is... you NEVER know. Every single relationship has and will be different. Sucks, I know. I wish there was a mathematical formula to figuring out if something works.

Its really hard the second time around. You get curious and still question how much they care about you. You may always think, "Well, you did it to me once how do I know you wont do it again." That, if you are the dumpee. If you were the dumper, you may remember what you did not like about the S/O. I have made the mistake of asking what went on during our break up, BIG MISTAKE! Some issues you have to leave at the gate. Complexities will put pressure on you and the s/o.

my ex still wants me to be his friend - but i am still hurt. He dumped me but i still want him back. I have asked him so many times for a reconciliation and he said no but he is happy to call me every week.

I have told him to stop now and its been just over 2 weeks of NC. I miss him dearly. We've broken up for 5 months now and the longest NC we have had is 3 weeks but usually cos i give in and call him.

I am just so hurt - any advice from those who won back their ex's?

HoTung, I've followed your story for the most part...

My ex and I did the on/off thing for the last two months. I broke up with him in April because I felt I had no other choice because he had stated, literally that he thought we "had no future" and that I was "not first priority" to him. Two weeks later, after one slip-up where I slept with him, and after a couple conversations, I admitted that I had fallen in love with him and wanted a second chance (we had been seeing each other, which led to being bf/gf, for 6 months). I left it at that, 4 days later, he asked if I wanted to go hiking. I had bumbled around with "well, maybe we can be friends", compromising, etc., finally that day we went hiking I told him that I couldn't do it... either we try again, or we had to stop talking. It was too much for me. He was reluctant to come to a decision that evening, I offered to leave (in somewhat of a huff, mind you, because I'd worked myself up a little with the conversation), he finally said "ok". A month later he dumped me over the phone, somewhat out of the blue, but seemingly over my getting upset because he refused to tell me if we'd get together that week... I wanted to know so I knew when to make plans (on what night, in other words) to hang with my girlfriends!! I didn't think it was unreasonable, but HE thought that it was "too much". Pathetic!!!

He didn't contact me for two weeks, I finally broke down this last Sun. night and called (I was in a VERY angry mood), and stated flatly that I wanted my things back, and he can leave them in my car at work (he has a mobile business and is at my work 1/2 days a week) or leave them on my porch. I was furious that he'd broken up with me on the phone and then didn't even make any plans to talk it over after that, even though I said it was the respectful thing to do (in a non-condescending way... said it really hurts that you'd be so callous). I called a couple days later apologizing for being so angry on the phone, we had our "closure" conversation on the phone... at this point I don't want to see him AT ALL... he offered to meet me somewhere for dinner, I said no, it's too late now.

Point is... things don't usually change. Unless the two people in the relationship REALLY make HUGE strides to change how they interact, reconciliation doesn't actually work. YOU may be able to make those changes, but chances are your ex just can't or won't.

I realize now that yes, I definitely contributed to the demise of this one, but I get the feeling that the majority of it was really my ex. I try not to blame him so much, but as I try to wrap my brain around it, I really feel like he never actually gave that much effort. He thinks he did, but I don't really see it in his actions.

He still hasn't returned my stuff, btw. Why the heck do they do that?? And why was it like pulling teeth to get this guy to say goodbye to me? I FINALLY got him to say it the last phone conversation we had. He said he'd return my stuff this week, if I don't see it by tonight, I'm going out to replace it tomorrow (mainly it was a book I loaned him that I just love, that a friend wanted to borrow). I don't want ANY excuse left behind to contact this jerk.

HoTung, I know how it feels... I feel pratically frantic with grief and like I'm dying inside. I'm at work right now, but haven't been able to work all week, I've lost 10 lb. b/c I have no appetite... they're NOT WORTH IT! I know it's so hard to extinguish that tiny flame of hope, but the more you keep throwing water on it (trying to accept it), the easier it becomes. Stay strong!