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Thread: "It feels so right, yet so wrong"

  1. #1
    Bronze Member mbird's Avatar
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    "It feels so right, yet so wrong"

    Well its been a long time since I have felt a need to come on enotalone. But the time has come to seek some guidance and reassurance. I want to explain my whole situation because all the adivce im geting from friends isnt hiting the spot as i cant quite seem to express it 100%.

    Unfautuantly the situation is so complex I have spent 2 hours writing and it doesnt even cover half of it. so i deleted that and wil just ask questions. I dont think I would of got any replies if i had posted it.

    I am confident, would say im not bad looking. fit. good sense of humour. strong personallity. everyone i meet cannot believe my age and I seem to have a gift in talking to people and genuinly helping people ad geting through to them. and a great communicator im definatly gifted with that. these are my good points.

    How if i have all these good points and I ended it with a girl because we perfect in some ways but completely different in other ways and it 100% the right thing to do. we both agreed it was best. there is no ill feelings. why the hell am I still devasted and feel down about it all.? why is this? Why do I think about her non stop? I dont understand.I gave it 100% we wernt on the same path in life... but why do I feel like someone has ripped me open and taken my heart.

    I can get other girls, its not a problem.? why do I only want this girl? after all the messing around and hurt from her why do I still love her so much? If I was desperate and i couldnt get girls I would understand. But im not, im fussy, confident and happy being single. but I love having someone to share life with

    I'm sorry this probably makes no sense, but after writing out the whoole sotry then deleting it because it was way to long this is what im left with asking.

  2. #2

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    A blind man could see it with a cane.

    You're in love with her.

    Next question.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Russ's Avatar
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    You miss her. You miss the comfort. You hate the thought of having to start building a relationship from the ground up again, with another girl.

    I've gone through all of this. My advice is, occupy yourself and let time go.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member mbird's Avatar
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    Yeh its as simple as that, I just wrote her a nice email saying I understand that we cannot be together but I would love to be close friends, no games no bull * * * * .

    She brought me through alot. and it feels the right thing to do.

    Please tel me this was the right thing to do in being true to myself. And its just not another thing of not letting go.

    It felt genuine.

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    Final score: head one, heart nil. Victory for Man Disunited.

  7. #6
    Bronze Member mbird's Avatar
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    heart 1 head 1 full time final score.

    The email felt genuine but I just read a post saying if your not ready to see them with someone new then leave it. I dont know if I am or not. and I know she will be because she has done it every time in the past. its her way of dealing with it. Now I'm just messing around. any advice?

  8. #7
    Gold Member Russ's Avatar
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    That wasn't right.

    You will not be just friends with her, not while you've got feelings for her. I tried being friends with my ex, but we just ended up getting back together, and I started going through the same emotional abuse as before. You have to let her go, completely.

  9. #8
    Bronze Member mbird's Avatar
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    it felt right at the time and i had the best of intensions but now i feel weak. its rediculas really. what do i do if she emails back? how can i handle it now.

  10. #9
    Gold Member Russ's Avatar
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    It would be a * * * * move to ignore it. Just let her down.

    And seriously, go to the gym every time you feel bad. I went through 7 months of emotional abuse from the ex. And I deal with emotional stuff by going to the gym. Not to be overconfident, but look at me now.

  11. #10
    Bronze Member mbird's Avatar
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    "I have no idea why I want to contact you at all, maybe because I have never opened up to anyone like I have to you, and you have seen me at my lowest I have ever been in my life. i hate doing this because it goes against my word and that is the most important thing to me, in life. your the only person who has ever made me do this. It's something I can't control. I things that's what I hate most of all.

    I am so excited about my future and feel great to be out of the relationship because even though I have never felt that intimacy before it wasn't right and we have talked about this and have covered everything I want to cover. We weren't right for each other. for many reasons and I know this. I don't regret anything. I'm doing what I came here to do and its going to be awsome.

    I guess after all the messing around and everything I want to believe that I wasn't just strung along. that it meant something. That what we had was truly different.


    You made me feel every emotion, luckily I'm strong enough to deal with it and be thankful because I have learned so much. good and bad.

    I'm not sure what I'm feeling, but I have the overwhelming urge not to waste that. I believe we had a connection and I just want to know the truth about what we had. Open up to me, I can't hurt you and its not playing games. We can't have a relationship I don't want one with you. This isn't not letting go, its not wasting something which I think is different to the rest. I know you probably think im playing games or don't respect me for not keeping my word but we never followed the rules, i follow what I feel my heart. my life will be full of up and downs but the ups are going to be something i think not everyone experiences.

    You said to me before I left, we had a special intimacy and something out of the ordinary and I cant believe your just going to never speak to me again. If you meant that, I am offering you it. A close friend. If you want to feel good about yourself by keeping in contact with an ex and feeling the confidence and power of feeling wanted.. I'm not interested and it won't happen. I'm not scared of your response negative, good or not at all, if you dont feel the connection anymore you talked about then I would hate to be so weak and your not being true to yourself. This is being true to myself and that is something i always try to do.

    I understand if your not ready for this and I never thought I would feel like this, but after time to reflect its what I want. think about whether you can do it or not. No games no bull * * * * . "


    This is the email. I'll just loose interest after a while with her and keep myself detached I'm pretty sure I can do this.

    She only texts me when she wants something. I guess its times to move on. I wish I could go back and take that back.

    I used to be in amazing shape, lost alot of sice now though because im traveling in australia, gotta stay where I am for another few weeks but after that I'm off traveling again. so it will be alot easier.

    what do you think it says in the email. I know what I meant but I donno if it has come accross right.

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