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Thread: Boyfriend doesn't think I'm sexy

  1. #1
    Angel_325
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    Boyfriend doesn't think I'm sexy

    Ok, so I have this problem. My boyfriend tells me that he finds me attractive but he'll never say he thinks I'm sexy. He'll make comments like "you're very beautiful" or "you're the most beautiful girl in the world to me", which is very sweet and makes me feel good. BUT, when I asked him if he thought I was sexy, he stayed silent. Now my boyfriend is very honest in that he'll never tell you something he doesn't think is true. That's one thing I really appreciate about him. So I know if he didn't answer, it probably means no. He sometimes makes comments about other (thin) women like "wow" or something like that, but never says my body is attractive to him. Now I'm an overweight girl and am working on loosing some weight (diet and exercise) but I'm still have about 25 lb left to lose before I reach my goal weight. I know he isn't really attracted to overweight girls, but he loves me and doesn't pay attention to that because he says he loves the entire me, not just parts. I don't know how I can make myself more attractive to him? He told me I should change my hairstyle and my clothing. He didn't say anything about my body because he knows it will upset me as in the past he's made some comments and that caused a fight because I didn't think it was appropriate of him to say that to me. Please, any suggestions?
    Last edited by Angel_325; 06-05-2008 at 01:58 PM.

  2. #2
    ghost69
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    you have a good guy then. keep at your fitness and make him say yes soon. for now, if you don't like the answer, or non-answer, don't ask.

  3. #3
    honeybee52
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    Why are you making problems when there aren't any? This is your issue, not his. Be grateful that he gives you sincere compliments and that he loves you so much. Don't go looking for trouble because, if you do, you just might find it.

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    MD Geist
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    If I was in his shoes id say something like that when you know the "time is right" when perhaps things become more inmate rather than it being so random. Atleast he's says your beautiful not many guys I know say that to their g/f's.

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    knightingale
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel_325 [Register to see the link]
    Ok, so I have this problem. My boyfriend tells me that he finds me attractive but he'll never say he thinks I'm sexy. He'll make comments like "you're very beautiful" or "you're the most beautiful girl in the world to me", which is very sweet and makes me feel good.
    I don't see what the the problem is . . .

    Being told you're "sexy" is nice, sure, but it's not like he completely disregards you or acts repulsed by you. He loves everything about you and thinks you're beautiful. Typically, men are more quick to tell a girl they are "hot" or "sexy" than they are to say "beautiful" , "gorgeous" or "pretty". You should be happy that he uses these words on you! He reserves them just for you, because he loves you. However . . .

    You shouldn't be changing yourself for him, anyway. Anything you do should be for yourself. Keep losing weight and getting fit if that's what YOU want. If you like the haircut he suggested, then go for it. If you don't, then don't. I wanted short hair this summer, wound up chopping off about five inches, and it turns out that my boyfriend loves short hair. But it was something I wanted first. Now I'm thinking of growing it back out, and he doesn't care either way as long as I'm happy with it. He'll still think I'm beautiful. That's how it should be with your boyfriend.

    There's nothing you can do to MAKE him give you compliments. The root of the problem is you aren't happy with yourself. Do whatever you have to do to be happy with who you are, and if he happens to like the results then so be it.

  6. #6
    lillie
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    What kind of clothes do you wear if you dont mind me asking? Some women,men included get a little too laid back about their attire when in a long term relationship. Iv lost count of the men who have told me they wished their g/f wore higher heels,stockings,skirts etc,well they are men!!lol

  7. #7
    Angel_325
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    Quote Originally Posted by lillie [Register to see the link]
    What kind of clothes do you wear if you dont mind me asking? Some women,men included get a little too laid back about their attire when in a long term relationship. Iv lost count of the men who have told me they wished their g/f wore higher heels,stockings,skirts etc,well they are men!!lol
    I don't wear really sexy clothing because I'm still trying to lose weight. My attrie is usually a nice sexy top and a pair of long business pants or a skirt. I don't wear short skirts a lot. I also don't wear hight heels a lot either because I'm not very good at wearing high heels.

  8. #8
    lillie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel_325 [Register to see the link]
    I don't wear really sexy clothing because I'm still trying to lose weight. My attrie is usually a nice sexy top and a pair of long business pants or a skirt. I don't wear short skirts a lot. I also don't wear hight heels a lot either because I'm not very good at wearing high heels.
    Haha yes heel look good but they can be a pain!!!

    Well you sound like you dress smart,nothing wrong with that. But take it from me men really do like heels,skirts,stockings & blouses,oh & not forgetting all the sexy underwear!lol Im comfortable with dressing up socially & privately but some people aren't i know..

    When your reach your target use it as an excuse to go shopping & up the anti re feminine & sexy style Only if you are comfortable with it though..Im sure he will like your new image

  9. #9
    stella777

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    my boyfriend is much taller than me, but when I wear high heels, it seems like he doesnt like it, he is like you want to wear that again??!!!

  10. #10
    trash mail
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    THis is your own personal confidence issue, don;t make it into your relationship issue. He is a good guy.
    I think you should not pressure him to make you free good about your own mage issue.

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