Let me ask this... how does the guy feel after sex is started... If I had sex with one guy, then two nights later had sex with another, would the first guy be upset... if it were you?
My general rule of thumb is unless there is the "exclusivity" talk/agreement then all bets are off. Generally speaking, in my little world, if there is no sex then there isn't a relationship - it's just dating.
The sex equation is kind of the line in the sand as to whether it's a relationship exclusive or not.
I, personally, wouldn't be sleeping with two different women at the same time without all the cards being on the table so to speak.
does that make sense?
I agree with the notion that if you are going to start having sex with someone, they better know that you consider yourself a free agent to have sex with other women as well. There are plenty of men and women who assume if they are having sex with someone then that person is not having sex with others...they might just take that as a given. I have seen plenty of posts on this forum from people who are now in long term relationships and find out that 3 years ago then they first starting dating and sleeping with their partner, their partner was also sleeping with others. It totally devastates them. So before you have sex with anyone, if you are not interested in being exclusive with them, you better let them know that you would not simply be dating others, you might be sleeping with others as well.
As long as there is open communication and mutual understanding, there isn't anything wrong with it. Well, except when sex comes in.
Once sex comes into the picture, it becomes exclusive (in my world.) As much as the fantasy of having sex with multiple women is attractive, when it comes down to it, I couldn't do it. Sex is too emotionally charged for me and I think it's unfair to be boinking two different women.
But if you chose to do so, BOTH women need to know you're sexually active with others. They may not take it as lightly as you think. Not to mention potential STDs, etc....
If you don't have the talk you can do whatever you want. Even sex.
As long as they know you are not exclusive, it is ok. But I'd make that clear to them before anything more physical happens.
I agree with most of the posters on here that until you have "the talk," you are not exclusive. BUT, I would think about it not just practically, but emotionally (from both your and the girls' perspectives) as well. Some of us (women, or maybe just people) are too proud / stupid to have the exclusivity talk when we want / expect exclusivity (especially when sex is involved) and in those cases, if you get the sense that the girl(s) have an expectation of exclusivity but just aren't talking about it, I say, bring it up. The last thing you want is to end up in a relationship with a woman you fall in love with and then have her find out you were sleeping with other people when you were also sleeping with her, even if that's before "the talk." Logic says that it's "ok" because you never had "the talk," but trust me, the woman will feel betrayed if she finds out someday down the road when she's already fallen in love with you and is exclusive with you, that you weren't on the same page as her in the beginning. And, the last thing you want is a woman who feels betrayed. Not fun.
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