ok im off cutting

im officially saying im off because i haven't cut in a while. I did make a few marks on my arm with a dull knife, but they didn't bleed that bad and i dont think they went that far into the dermis because i couldn't find them the next morning. Really, i didn't do any damage.

Now im just worrying about the scarring of some of my bad cuts. two of which im sure should have gotten at least some stitching (although most of my cuts shouldve, these were really bad). This one on my leg, is healed, but the skin dips a little bit in, and im hoping it will even out. Its existed for a little more than a month, but it was a bad cut so i didn't really expect some overnight healing or anything.

My mother found out one of my friend's parents had to pick her up from camp because she attempted suicide. Pretty scary on everyones part, but im not really that upset. I acted like i was sad, but in my opinion, if life sucks bad enough for you to attempt suicide then its ok. Alot of people dissagree with me, and im sorry if that disturbs you but thats just my opinion. Anyway, so back to that my mom found out about my friend, well, she told me and of course i already knew about it, but then my mom asked if i had ever attempted suicide. I told her yes, explained how i jumped in front of a car once, but my friends pulled me out of the way. why i tried to jump while my friends were with me i do not know. I still haven't told her that i cut, but i figure that since ive stopped there is no longer any reason to say so.

I have a question i hope can be answered. Is there any medicine that i can get cheap that covers up scars. Im tired of wearing a jacket, its almost summer, and since all my cuts are going to be scars by summer (i hope), i want to have some way to cover them so i can go to the beach and stuff.

Firstly, MASSIVE well done to have broken free from the cycle of cutting. That's such a difficult thing to do, as you will know. You're bound to still get urges sometimes, but don't ever punish yourself for that.

That's pretty big stuff with your friend. After a while though with cutting, it is almost natural to see things like that as not a big deal. It's like the pain is numbed so that you no longer feel it or react in the way that others might. You've seen and felt things that others wouldn't imagine. If you gave someone a knife and told them to cut themselves, they would be unlikely to be able to do it. Whereas for many of us here it no longer seems unusual. After not cutting for a while, you will be able to relearn how to feel and react. It will become natural.

About your question, I'm afraid there is no miracle cure. Many wish there was. Scars fade in time, but they're unlikely to have done that by summer. You can get creams or oils to rub in to them to help reduce scars though. You could try bio-oil for this. It doesn't work immediately, but with regular use you will begin to see a difference. I can't think of anything that will work quick. As for cover up, perhaps you could try your skills with waterproof make up? If you have a lot of scars though, it may not work so good. Try a few things out and see what works for you. It's not easy to cover up though really.

Yes as A_World_Away said, a massif congratulations in breaking the cycle!!!!!!!! That takes inner strength girl!

About the slip-ups, don't worry about them. It doesn't mean you've not stopped. They happen to the best of us, and are really not important at this stage. What really matters is how you pick yourself up and move on from this. How you think positive - like you're doing. How you don't let it get you down.

With regards to scar-reducers, we had a thread going on this under self-injury resources with a few different things you can try:

Good luck,

Pm me any time if you need anything!

girl friend x

thank you for your responces. I hope i never cut again, because cutting really changed me inside. But i find it kind of funny, i have a very innocent appearing face, so no one would ever expect me to be a cutter unless they know me personally.

-i was talking to my phyciatrist and she recommended some kind of oil called 'E oil'

Once again, thank you for your replies