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Thread: [Update] Getting my girlfriend to lose weight...

  1. #1
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    [Update] Getting my girlfriend to lose weight...

    Ok, so some of you may remember me. 4 months ago I posted this topic



    to save you the trouble of reading basically I was with a girl for 7 months and she basically decided to let herself go and gain 45 pounds over the course of the relationship

    I wish I could tell you that she lost the weight and we are perfect. (I wish I could)..... She hasn't lost a pound. Hell she gained weight. we are going on 11 months now and what attraction I had to her is long gone. Kissing is now unknown to me. I don't even close my eyes anymore, as bad as it sounds

    About a month ago she asked me why I act different. Why I'm not as sweet anymore. I straight up told her. Because of your weight. Insert cry, fight, cry, fight, almost break-up, fight fight fight, in that order. I don't regret saying it at all. I'm just not attracted to her anymore. When we go out now, the only thing I can seem to do is check out other girls. * * * ! I'm a nice guy too. Why am I doing this?

    She has no self-anything. She wont stick to a diet. All she does is complain.. the concept of 'work' is gone to this girl. We just went out tonight and we went to in and out. Oh yeah, I said in my last thread that I was dieting, well I am, I've lost 13 pounds in hopes it would motivate her. So I didnt eat any of that garbage. She was eating her cousin's french fries. She was like 'watch he'll get mad at me now' its all a big joke to her

    I took everyones advice, and applied it all and unfortunately it didnt help. Its not your fault its hers. I have no idea what to do now. I totally understand the whole point of 'love' and 'relationships' to stay with someone even when they are at there worst. And I did that for half a damn year now. How long does the 'rock bottom' buffer last? This is no longer a cry for help. This is a rant. The situation can't be helped. it can only be ended -

    I start school this september, and I will be too busy to see her on a regular basis for, maybe as long as 4-6 months. If she hasnt lost the weight by then, I'm going to break up with her. I tried turning my back on it, I tried being the nice guy, I tried being the * * * * * * * , I tried being the personal trainer. I give up.

    Cliffnotes:
    Went out with a girl.
    Went from 125 to 170ish in 6 months
    11 months into relationship still overweight
    I'm giving up

  2. #2

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    Fair enough.

    If it's not your cup of tea, then end it with her.

  3. #3

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    Attraction is a big part of a relationship, beyond her body you seem to not be attracted to her attitude and her lack of self discipline. Only you can make the decision but if you read what you wrote I think all of your answers are within your posts.

  4. #4
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    Well, this is your preference. But the thing is, if you aren't attracted to her weight (and behaviors), then why would it be any different if she DID lose weight? You seem very upset with her, but it's not only her weight you are upset about. You are upset about far many other things, such as her complaining about the weight (that she may not be doing much about) and her not trying to lose weight. You can't change her. You can't change her weight. If she enjoys weighing more, let her weigh more. You sound very unsatisfied with farrrr more other things than just her weight. In fact, i do suggest you leave her. She will be better off with someone who enjoys her at her current weight, and you will be better off with someone else. Just remember...you won't always look perfect yourself. Just because someone is overweight, it doesn't give you the right to put them down and be "not sweet" to them. If you aren't turned on anymore by her, fine, but she still has feelings, so treat her with the same respect you would a skinnier girl. But really, things will not change if she doesnt drop the pounds. You're better off finding someone else with the same goals and body images as you.

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  6. #5
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    I'm curious to know why are you still with her if you are so unattracted her and even tell her so.

    There must be something about her that you like to stay with her?

    i can understand how physical attraction is important and maybe it seems like she doesn't take care of herself.

    i know sometimes i've thought, "if they can't take care of themselves, how can they take care of someone else?

    but anyway, why are you with her if you dont' even want to kiss her? Are you still hoping she will change?

  7. #6
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    My gf has a six pack!!! but no boobs

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    [QUOTE=saleen_281;2401529]My gf has a six pack!!! but no boobs

    Sure shes not a man.

    I don't see why you would stay with someone your simply not attracted to. I mean you should dump her. Because yes its different but if you were to marry her and she got pregnant and COULDN'T LOSE the pregnancy weight-- well you basically go on a divorce eh?

    So try dating a girl who likes to stay fit.

    Your just not happy, shes not trying to help this relationship its just eat and eat, the longer you wait the more attached she will get and the harder it will be for her to get over you. So do you both a favor, end it now, you apparently don't even like her.

  9. #8
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    If you check back at my other thread, you will see that, shes not happy about her weight

    All she ever does is complain about her weight, I'm fat this I'm a cow that. But she wont do anything about it!

    And ive stayed with her this long because I love her. I dont want to end it with her because I dont know if I will ever find someone who I click with as well as her

    I do like her. I love her. I'm just fed up. I know I sound like a superficial * * * * * * * but if you read my other thread you will see that I'm not. I'm just so bitter about it now

    I'm not a fitness freak by any means. I'm not asking her to be a model. But there are some things you just dont do in a relationship. Becoming CLINICALLY OBESE is not one of them

    (Yeah, shes 5 feet tall, she crossed the obese mark at 155 pounds)

  10. #9

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    WOAAAAAAH. Shamu. LOL My friend says, although it may only be for guys, to say bizatch * * * * and make fun of the person basically to lose weight. Or if you see, not a model!, but a normal average size person you shoudl say wouldn't you want to look like that? Or buy her a t-shirt or jeans that fit her when you first met, if she cries or whatever, just say, well just so you have something to look forward to fitting into! Then smile real big.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by redhearts
    WOAAAAAAH. Shamu. LOL My friend says, although it may only be for guys, to say bizatch * * * * and make fun of the person basically to lose weight. Or if you see, not a model!, but a normal average size person you shoudl say wouldn't you want to look like that? Or buy her a t-shirt or jeans that fit her when you first met, if she cries or whatever, just say, well just so you have something to look forward to fitting into! Then smile real big.
    Funny thing is, indrectly or not, I have done that

    Another point I need to bring up is how 1 sided most people are about this.. Especially girls. "If you love her it doesnt matter what she looks like"

    Yeah. my ass.

    I do love her. Is it so hard to want to be with a hot chick through my twenty somethings? I mean she was banging when we were going out. and shes miserable.

    I will never understand women. Too emotional for their own good

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