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Thread: [Update] Getting my girlfriend to lose weight...

  1. #11

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    Originally Posted by redhearts
    WOAAAAAAH. Shamu. LOL My friend says, although it may only be for guys, to say bizatch * * * * and make fun of the person basically to lose weight. Or if you see, not a model!, but a normal average size person you shoudl say wouldn't you want to look like that? Or buy her a t-shirt or jeans that fit her when you first met, if she cries or whatever, just say, well just so you have something to look forward to fitting into! Then smile real big.
    is this a serious post? as a female i find it kind of shocking that you would write that.
    To the OP-you aren't happy you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. You tried it didn't work so do what is best for you.

  2. #12
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    I think the only time people sound superficial about weight is when a bit of body fat makes or breaks a relationship, but that's the only thing that person judges on. You clearly are judging on her willpower and her constant complaints, and rightfully so. There's nothing more annoying than someone constantly complaining about one thing, but not doing a thing about it to fix it up, so I see where you're coming from. I think you are just more fed up with her not caring about what she eats, not caring about her health and the fact she doesn't even seem to be listening. I've read your posts, it's great that you've tried to lose it with her, but apparently even your attempt there didn't help her. Hearing her constant negativity about the situation is probably making you pretty depressed.

    I think you'd feel much better if she just stopped complaining about it while eating a bunch of french fries. Thats almost like having unprotected sex and then being mad when you become pregnant from it.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by seanforever
    Funny thing is, indrectly or not, I have done that

    Another point I need to bring up is how 1 sided most people are about this.. Especially girls. "If you love her it doesnt matter what she looks like"

    Yeah. my ass.

    I do love her. Is it so hard to want to be with a hot chick through my twenty somethings? I mean she was banging when we were going out. and shes miserable.

    I will never understand women. Too emotional for their own good
    i agree with you, it DOES matter what they look like... and it matters to you.


    I've hardley ever heard someone on this board say 'But you should love him despite his crack addication" or "You should love him despite the fact he lives with his parents and is 35 years old and doesn't have job" or "but you should love him despite the fact he has no education"

    You get a lot of rebuttals saying, "But we don't ahve imilar values in education, career etc"

    I think this is the same thing. You don't have similar values when it comes to taking care of yourselves physically, and i see nothing wrong with that.

    It's not ALL about the heart!

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by redhearts
    WOAAAAAAH. Shamu. LOL My friend says, although it may only be for guys, to say bizatch * * * * and make fun of the person basically to lose weight. Or if you see, not a model!, but a normal average size person you shoudl say wouldn't you want to look like that? Or buy her a t-shirt or jeans that fit her when you first met, if she cries or whatever, just say, well just so you have something to look forward to fitting into! Then smile real big.
    Yeah since humiliating someone and hurting their feelings is fun to see.

  5.  

  6. #15

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    LOL My lord, its just that sometimes people don't get the message until they hit rock bottom. But I mean try planning hiking dates with a nice healthy picnic

  7. #16
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    Out of every post from every person in this forum, this is the 1 post that I feel connects with me EXACTLY.. Sums up how I feel and the point I was trying to make

    I mean she kept saying today "All these girls keep looking at us like why is that hot guy with her"

    I mean back 9 months ago I would have ran a muck on her with compliments for saying something like that. When it happened tonight I kinda just hesitated and called her delusional. I just dont know what to say to her anymore




    "Its not all about the heart!" That makes alot of sense to me. Love can get you a long way. But sometimes its the little superficial things that you really need to have

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by shikashika

    I think this is the same thing. You don't have similar values when it comes to taking care of yourselves physically, and i see nothing wrong with that.
    Exactly. Your priorities are just different. It's hard to deal with people when your priorities are not similar. This problem may arise in other situations besides the weight. If you were to have kids, she may not think it's as important to feed them correctly as you might prefer them to be fed. Or she might not push them as hard (when it comes to school) as much as you may want them to be pushed so they will make good grades. She just seems a little less disciplined compared to you. Nothing wrong with that.

  9. #18

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    Originally Posted by redhearts
    LOL My lord, its just that sometimes people don't get the message until they hit rock bottom. .
    well nice of you to help them get there by calling them shamu and making them cry...

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by seanforever
    Out of every post from every person in this forum, this is the 1 post that I feel connects with me EXACTLY.. Sums up how I feel and the point I was trying to make

    I mean she kept saying today "All these girls keep looking at us like why is that hot guy with her"
    I can definitely see how that would annoy you. My fiance was in debt about a year ago....he complained and complained and was stressed out and i was soooo sick of hearing that crap. Anyway, long story short, he wasn't taking care of it. He felt so lost and stuff. Finally, i had a long talk with him, helped him sort out things such as his finances, got him to call the companies he owed. They even compromised with him about his debts and took half of his debt away and asked him to just worry about the other half. He got over it, and feels wayy better and i no longer hear the complaints. You have done the same thing, but she is not following. She needs to understand you are also very concerned for her health, if she gains a lot more, that could definitely put her at risk for all sorts of stuff that overweight/obese people tend to have. Since you tried and she didnt' follow through...you feel really mad about it. I dont see why she won't help herself though, wow.

  11. #20

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    Originally Posted by kuiks8
    well nice of you to help them get there by calling them shamu and making them cry...
    Hey it may help! Just take her to SeaWorld and say hey its your momma! LMAO.. OKAY IM TOTALLY KIDDING!!!! I'm just really sarcastic, sorry to offend anyone!

    On a serious note she may just need your support more than you are now and for you to maybe do things with her to help her lose the weight. I hear its easier if you have someone to lose weight with, well like you said you were. But maybe you guys can turn it into not all dates, but some. I mean like seriously take a small hiking trip and have a picnic planned out, healthy meal in a nice romantic spot. (Just make sure she eats only her half!)

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