Why do I avoid eye contact from attractive men that are strangers?

When I'm out in public, this happens sometimes. I could feel them looking at me and I feel very uncomfortable all of a sudden. Because I feel uncomfortable, I cannot bring myself to "check them out". I consider myself attractive and gotten many compliments from people so the problem can't be my self-esteem. Maybe it's confidence? I admit I kinda feel small sometimes...I should stand up taller. I'm also a reserved girl. I keep to myself mostly but I am friendly towards strangers and can strike up random small talk with them too. So what could be the reason for avoiding eye contact with attractive male strangers?

I'm shy towards guys mostly because I haven't interacted with them much. I'm not highly familiar with the male human species. I've only had 1 boyfriend. I'm not one of those girls that have many guy friends either. However I do talk to guys I know from my past easily and shyness kinda goes away because I know them. I told my friend about this habit of mine and he (non-straight) told me he had the same problem.

Anyone have this habit too? Is it even a problem? Hopefully guys and girls can comment...

I get this too. No idea why though, maybe others will know and we can find out together! ;p

Sometimes if I'm feeling quiet or sleepy (or grumpy, ha), I'll break eye contact early. I think it's because I know I'm not feeling up for a 'clever' little conversation, and prolonged eye contact is more likely to lead to that. It's the polite version of 'pre'-ignoring somebody--you're just heading them off at the pass

You probably do it because you're shy. It's easier to avoid a conversation than to potentially throw yourself into a new situation that calls for a lot of talking and smiling with a stranger.

I think some of the reason for avoiding eye contact with an attractive stranger of the opposite sex is the fear of rejection. If you avoid them totally, they can't reject you. I guess you could call it a form of self-preservation. Unfortunately, this type of behavior will leave you alone and wondering "what if".

One of the simplest things to do is make brief eye contact and say hello. It is friendly and usually pretty safe.

For some reason when I go out in public I put on a * * * * * y face...I have no idea why but I think it is because I get really uncomfortable when guys check me out so i think by looking mean they might not do it...I guess now that I am getting back to single i better learn how to smile in public again!!!

My habit is more encompassing; I just avoid eye contact with people in general while I'm in motion. Unless there appears to be an interesting character along my path, I travel as if I'm wading through a land of ghosts and illusions. I'll only look straight at someone when I consider him/her important in some way or another.

I would attribute this 100% to self esteem. Are you more comfortable around guys that you feel are not on par with you (lower) on the attractive scale? Most women like this are not comfortable with good looking men, only those she feels don't look as good.

I was like this when i was young. I was very shy and felt inadequate around attractive men and women.

Today i don't care. I am comfortable around anybody. lol

I have the same problem. Whenever I see a very attractive guy and he looks at me, even if it's just for a second, I'll get very nervous and uncomfortable and avoid looking at him. I think beerman's explanation sums it up for me, I know part of the reason I avoid eye contact with somebody I find very attractive is because of fear of rejection. I don't consider myself ugly but I'm not a very confident person, and rejection would be a very hard blow on me. Unfortunately, even though I'm being safe that way, I also can't win. I'm always left wondering afterwards what could have happened if I had only smiled and prolonged eye contact.

A little off topic here, but I personally find shyness an attractive trait. Especially when you can tell they want to talk to you, but just can't.

I do too. Example - I went to put money into a parking meter today and there were a group of stunning looking girls and I couldn't look them in the eye.

Actually, how would you react if one of these guys approached you?

For some reason when I go out in public I put on a * * * * * y face...I have no idea why but I think it is because I get really uncomfortable when guys check me out so i think by looking mean they might not do it...I guess now that I am getting back to single i better learn how to smile in public again!!!

Is that you in your icon? If so, you have a lovely smile!!

Classic. Low self esteem, which leads to low confidence. Very common for individuals who are faced with a really attractive person of the opposite sex.

Many attractive men & women are just like your plain Joes and Janes - they want eye contact, communication, laughter, happiness, etc. They are humans blessed with great genes - nothing superior about them over the plain looking one. Once you realize this, then maybe you can look them in the eye and speak with them like you can with anyone else.

I would attribute this 100% to self esteem. Are you more comfortable around guys that you feel are not on par with you (lower) on the attractive scale? Most women like this are not comfortable with good looking men, only those she feels don't look as good.

Unfortunately, I think you hit the nail on the head. But why do I do this even though I don't want to? How did you overcome it? Maybe after getting married, girls become more experienced and the silliness goes away? Or maybe you met a lot of guys? maybe you became a nun? I'm just kiddin!!

Once, I was walking upstairs to the upper train platform and when turned the corner to walk down the platform, there was this one guy leaning by the wall waiting for the train. His body was turned more towards the way I was coming from...and I felt so extremely uncomfortable continuing to walk down the platform because I was walking closer to where he was standing to pass by him to wait at the further end of the platform..and there was hardly anyone else there..even more awkward. (excuse my grammar.)

I don't like that feeling! It's like something gets a hold of me and I feel stiff all over!! Guys who are better looking than me definitely make me nervous.

I do too. Example - I went to put money into a parking meter today and there were a group of stunning looking girls and I couldn't look them in the eye.

 

Actually, how would you react if one of these guys approached you?

Hi, nice to see that a guy experiences this too. Well, I think the problem could be that you think they are stunning. What if you classify them as just another bunch of girls. Or better yet, forget about gender. yeah...I should try that.

How would I react if one of these guys approached me --well, I would maintain my composure and act as I would if I were talking to a normal stranger. But for sure some extent of my uneasiness or unnatural-ness will show through! Come to think of it, I haven't met a really good looking guy..well, ok, there was this one tall dude that every girl was eyeing at university--I even saw them checking him out during lectures. See? I wasn't paying attention in class. Anyways, we'd always bump into each other on the train and we'd start talking even though I felt awkward making small convos. After a few years, it was even MORE awkward to bump into him like 3 times a day even though we never talked much after first year. The problem was I wasn't even really attracted to him. He was attractive but I wasn't attracted TO him. Why did I still feel uneasy? That is the question. Sure, it's my confidence. I've always had a problem with it - even my teacher picked up on it. Gosh, when I was in middle school, my self-esteem was only 30%...now it is 85%. I've come a long way but this issue here..don't know how to fix it.

Sorry I wrote so much. Thanks everyone for commenting..

BTW, I realized that when I was in Grade School, I interacted with more males than now that I've graduated from uni.

A little off topic here, but I personally find shyness an attractive trait. Especially when you can tell they want to talk to you, but just can't.

So then if you had a chance and you really were interested, would you approach a shy girl? Or would you be more concerned of making her uncomfortable and then giving up because she's not really approachable?

Is that you in your icon? If so, you have a lovely smile!!

Thank you very much...

I have a problem with this though...now that I am single again I have to find a way to be approachable...I was out for a walk today and i put on the same mean face...I am going to be single forever if i can't learn to smile and be approachable...its like a protection thing...I have to get over it...any tips? suggestions?

If i notice a guy looking at me I totally avoid looking back...WHY!?!?!

Thank you very much...

I have a problem with this though...now that I am single again I have to find a way to be approachable...I was out for a walk today and i put on the same mean face...I am going to be single forever if i can't learn to smile and be approachable...its like a protection thing...I have to get over it...any tips? suggestions?

If i notice a guy looking at me I totally avoid looking back...WHY!?!?!

I act the same way around girls.

What thoughts are actually going on in your head at the time?

A little off topic here, but I personally find shyness an attractive trait. Especially when you can tell they want to talk to you, but just can't.

ABSOLUTELY!! The only thing I need is for her to make it clear that she wants me to talk to her. It's a major turn-on when a female doesn't look at herself as the center of attention. I can't stand women that don't do anything and expect me to talk to them just because they're pretty and other guys hit on them. If you're shy, just look at me and try to smile. You don't have to stare, but take glimpses that make it obvious.

So then if you had a chance and you really were interested, would you approach a shy girl? Or would you be more concerned of making her uncomfortable and then giving up because she's not really approachable?

I would, but it depends on the situation. Like how many people are around us. If we're in a group or crowd I wouldn't because that puts her in a scary situation(too many eyes and ears). What I will do is look at her and let her KNOW (with my eyes) I feel the same way. If we see each other again we can probaly plan something out and maybe she won't be as shy(knowing how I feel)

Agree, I find that women who are shy are very attractive, and they are usually very sweet. But you do have to show it somehow that you want me to talk to you. I also agree that many women get uncomfortable when you look at them. (It is a subconsious thing I believe, maybe they feel they're being evaluated as a potential partner.) The worst is when you look at a woman and (maybe out of lack of better expression) she puts on a stone-cold face. That makes me want to fall through the floor! Awkward.

I act the same way around girls.

 

What thoughts are actually going on in your head at the time?

hmm good question..I guess I am thinking don't judge me...

Thank you very much...

I have a problem with this though...now that I am single again I have to find a way to be approachable...I was out for a walk today and i put on the same mean face...I am going to be single forever if i can't learn to smile and be approachable...its like a protection thing...I have to get over it...any tips? suggestions?

If i notice a guy looking at me I totally avoid looking back...WHY!?!?!

yeah that stone/bipolar disorder look ain't good girl. Whenever I see it it's like they're telling me "Don't F with me! I'll bite you f'ing head oooooff!!

Try to think about things in your life that have been funny. Have an "i don't give a s--t approach while out there. Stop worrying about what people think. Be VERY Bubbly/fun. Watch how many guys flock around you and girls envy you. As my sister (as bold as she can be) would say "a closed mouth doesn't get fed". don't EVER be arrogant. even if you're speaking to a female. don't let it confuse you like being weak. Speak your mind and don't hold back.

I do this all the time. I've never done the eye contact flirting thing ever. Never maintained any long enough haha! If I ever catch a guy looking at me, I get embarrassed and scurry/look away. Just a confidence thing. I need to build mine.

I do this all the time. I've never done the eye contact flirting thing ever. Never maintained any long enough haha! If I ever catch a guy looking at me, I get embarrassed and scurry/look away. Just a confidence thing. I need to build mine.

*looks at you*

*looks at you*

Lol

*runs away*

!!!

You are probably lacking a degree of confidence and self-esteem. This is something which may well have been with you for a long time and a state of mind which you have allowed yourself to become accustomed to.

Unfortunately shyness and a lack of confidence is completely evident to others but a trait which thankfully can be overcome and it is this aspect which I assume from your post, is something you are looking to change.

So my advice is to first of all make that decision to change. By taking this first step you will soon begin to look upon yourself as a more confident person.