At which point does being a virgin become "too weird"?

I'm in my twenties, 5'4" and have 0 self-confidence and very very serious self esteem issues, so it's safe to say I'm going to be a virgin for a looooong time .

Evidently the older I get the harder it will be to get "into" it, and lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I'd like to know what women generally think is still an acceptable age to be a virgin (for a man), ie. at which age does it become just "too weird" to the point where you would break up with a guy if you found out he was a virgin?

I don't think it ever could be weird. If it hasn't happened it just hasn't. Eventually you will meet someone special and become intimate with that person. Just never have sex because you feel pressured by society, because the world may feel it's weird. It's how you feel, and if you aren't ready you aren't. I'm an eighteen year old and I'm still pure. And that is rare these days. Work on your confidence and I'm sure everything else will fall into place.

I don't think it could ever become "too weird" Everyone has a different opinion. My fiance was 25 and a virgin when we had sex for the first time and I actually LOVED that about him. Any girl who breaks up with a guy just because he's a virgin is a very low person. As previous poster said, as long as you are yourself and never just have sex because of pressure from society.

I'd like to know what women generally think is still an acceptable age to be a virgin (for a man), ie. at which age does it become just "too weird" to the point where you would break up with a guy if you found out he was a virgin?

Okay, here's how I see it. I feel there is nothing wrong if a man has not lost his virginity after a certain age. What if the guy was wonderful and we complemented each other well? It also shows that the guy isn't some casanova or a "secret agent man" type of fellow either,heh.I wouldn't break up with a guy for that reason.

It's never too late. It doesn't matter to me - so long as those self esteem and other issues are being worked on and there is progress being made there.

The virginity thing isn't the problem at all. It's to avoid putting off addressing those other issues for years and years, so that it takes a toll on a person to the point where they just give up. The longer a person lets those things fester, the more damage it can do to them: that's what hurts potential chances at relationships.

Don't give up. Do it now. Address the confidence issues NOW.

I know a man in his forties and one in his late thirties who are virgins. They're nice guys. They just haven't met the right person. They have lifestyles where they don't meet many women (they work in male professions) but there's nothing weird about them.

I'm in my twenties, 5'4" and have 0 self-confidence and very very serious self esteem issues, so it's safe to say I'm going to be a virgin for a looooong time .

 

Evidently the older I get the harder it will be to get "into" it, and lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I'd like to know what women generally think is still an acceptable age to be a virgin (for a man), ie. at which age does it become just "too weird" to the point where you would break up with a guy if you found out he was a virgin?

You sound like me almost to a tee.

I might be a little older though, as I'm going to be 30 next year. One thing I've found not only on this website, but from inquiring on other websites as well... is that there's a decent amount of women who it won't be a deal breaker to.

Generally speaking what I've found to be the most common female viewpoint is that yet it's a little weird... but if they care about the person it's not the end of the world. Have even had a few girls tell me that it's endearing to an extent.

I feel for you, because I know what it's like to have zero self confidence and zero self esteem.. I battle the same thing every day of my life.

What it comes down to is this, neither one of us are hopelessly out of luck... (though I'm the first to admit it does feel that way sometimes)

We both just need to simply find a way to crawl out of this deep dark hole and work on ourselves first and foremost.

Only then can things begin to change. and for the record I know all too well how hard it is to simply change this sort of thing... if it were easy, we both would have done it a long time ago

I also know what it's like to feel inadequate about the lack of umm 'experience' but the past is the past.... can only work on the future *you*

its unusual pretty much after high school. when a guy talks about being a virgin or a girl, we automatically go wow, really?! it's NOT looked upon as a BAD thing. it just means you're not someone who sleeps around, no biggie.

i think the bigger issue is your insecurity and stuff, not the virginity itself. i'd be proud to be a virgin, why not save it and give it to someone special and make them feel special because you waited to have sex and not just do it because everyone else is.

I don't understand why you would feel the need to tell them anyway. It simply would add pressure to you and her in my view. Having said that, I think waiting for the right person is admirable and no one should consider you 'weird' for having the self respect and commitment in your convictions to wait.

I don't understand why you would feel the need to tell them anyway.

Well, wouldn't it be better if whatever girl he ends up sleeping with KNEW that he was a virgin, rather than just think he's bad at it?

It simply would add pressure to you and her in my view.

Only if you present it that way, to be honest. I'm 19, and still a virgin (just haven't found the right girl yet), and when I am finally getting "serious" with a girl, I'd see no problem with just casually bringing up my lack of experience, and downplaying it as not that big of a deal.

I'm in my twenties, 5'4" and have 0 self-confidence and very very serious self esteem issues, so it's safe to say I'm going to be a virgin for a looooong time .

 

Evidently the older I get the harder it will be to get "into" it, and lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I'd like to know what women generally think is still an acceptable age to be a virgin (for a man), ie. at which age does it become just "too weird" to the point where you would break up with a guy if you found out he was a virgin?

I'm not a women. But I think every age is an acceptable age to be a virgin. And why would it be a cause to break up when one is a virgin? What harm would it to do a relationship that one is a virgin? I wouldn't doubt there are women who'd prefer men with a little experience but I seriously doubt a woman would break up with a man because he is a virgin.

I dont think you need to advertise to any woman you may go out with that you are a virgin. I am going to be painfully honest here - only in hopes that it might help you - some women might be offput by the declaration. The older you get and the older the women you are that you date the more they might think it is a redflag. Just like a woman in her 40s dating a guy in his 40s who was never married might see that as a redflag.

I would be lying if i said that if i dated a guy who was 40 and he told me straight up early on that he was a virgin that it wouldn't freak me out a little. Now you are only in your 20s i know, but i am just saying that as you get older if you remain a virgin i would not be terribly vocal about it when you date women.

You dont have a need to tell them at all really. If and when you have sex i dont think a man needs to disclose this (a woman would have to since first penetration could be very difficult and require explanation) if he doesn't want to. If you are awkward that first time she would probably just attribute it to nervousness of having sex with HER for the first time.

Many women here will say it is not an issue but i wonder how much of that is really honesty. I think it might weird some women out if you declare this to them. Maybe not now, at your age, but if it persists into your 30s i'd not make a big point of sharing it.

It might make a woman think it is a redflag (even if it isn't and you are a virgin because of your standards or pickiness).

I don't understand why you would feel the need to tell them anyway. It simply would add pressure to you and her in my view. Having said that, I think waiting for the right person is admirable and no one should consider you 'weird' for having the self respect and commitment in your convictions to wait.

My thoughts exactly. There is no need really to disclose this IMO.

Guys the only thing you guys have to work on is your programing/thinking. I was once with no self confidence and still haven't dated anyone or kissed a woman before in my life! I was once there with you guys.

Throughout time just being around the right people and doing the right things my quailtily of life has changed for the better. It does suck when you know your the only one who has never been with anyone but really you have to be happy with what you have no or else it won't make much of a diffrence when you do get into a relationship if anything I think it would make life alittle more difficult.

My game plan is to sit back and wait cause thats all I can do right now weither i like it or not there's not much I can do except continue to work on myself as well as other areas of life that might need somekind of addressing. I have already excepted the possiblitly ill never been in a relationship and remain a virgin, it sounds depressing but theres many more things in life I have my sights focused on.

I have never been in a relationship or anything like that but alot women in the past wouldn't date me due to my lack of experiance and sex is the very last thing on my mind.

I have never been in a relationship or anything like that but alot women in the past wouldn't date me due to my lack of experiance and sex is the very last thing on my mind.

Can I ask something, though? Why does the issue of sex come up before you even really start dating a woman? Maybe you're just looking at the wrong kind of girl, or something. I mean, I've never heard of a girl asking a guy about how "experienced" he is before they even start dating. Maybe if said girl is just looking for a one time thing, or something. But I think if you have a more "normal" relationship (as in, the topic of sex doesn't come up until a real connection has been established between both people), the girl probably wouldn't just drop the guy if he revealed his lack of experience in the bedroom.

20's is fine! im sure you will find lots of women who are PLEASED you are a virgin - means they can train/teach you how they like to be pleased without you doing something "your ex liked" its a good thing! x

Can I ask something, though? Why does the issue of sex come up before you even really start dating a woman? Maybe you're just looking at the wrong kind of girl, or something. I mean, I've never heard of a girl asking a guy about how "experienced" he is before they even start dating. Maybe if said girl is just looking for a one time thing, or something. But I think if you have a more "normal" relationship (as in, the topic of sex doesn't come up until a real connection has been established between both people), the girl probably wouldn't just drop the guy if he revealed his lack of experience in the bedroom.

I guess things have changed where sex is now a high priority in todays world where folks think about sex first.

Personally I think it would suck if you where still a virgin and she was not and it could result in conflicts. I just don't see how one who is a virgin could be successfull in that sitaition.

i would say somewhere around 50. 50 is way to old to be a virgin............and that person needs to reconsider what they've done in life

35-40+

thats only because i have had teachers this age who were virgins and they were very strange women.

i would say somewhere around 50. 50 is way to old to be a virgin............and that person needs to reconsider what they've done in life

LOL! I think if one is still a virgin at 50 they might just want to forget about sex altogether.

LOL! I think if one is still a virgin at 50 they might just want to forget about sex altogether.

i must agree. although i am a virgin but im only 21......so its not weird.....but 50 is just ehhhh....would make me think they have serious issues

I can imagine someone going that long without ever having sex. Only someone with a serious religious belief its very possible they will never have sex but thats understandable now just someone typical being 50years it still wouldn't suprize me though cause sex, relationships and such normally comes to the dissision of the other person and well if all the women say no theres not much you can do.

Honestly, I'd like to be with a girl that has been here and done that. Someone experienced in that department, so that I know when it's time to settle down (if I ever do), she won't do any looking back.

I'm in my twenties, 5'4" and have 0 self-confidence and very very serious self esteem issues, so it's safe to say I'm going to be a virgin for a looooong time .

 

Evidently the older I get the harder it will be to get "into" it, and lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I'd like to know what women generally think is still an acceptable age to be a virgin (for a man), ie. at which age does it become just "too weird" to the point where you would break up with a guy if you found out he was a virgin?

i don't think being a virgin is that bad to a woman. so i highlighted the worst part in your post.

I'm in my twenties, 5'4" and have 0 self-confidence and very very serious self esteem issues, so it's safe to say I'm going to be a virgin for a looooong time .

 

Evidently the older I get the harder it will be to get "into" it, and lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I'd like to know what women generally think is still an acceptable age to be a virgin (for a man), ie. at which age does it become just "too weird" to the point where you would break up with a guy if you found out he was a virgin?

I'm turning 23 this year and I'm still a virgin; doesn't bother me. At least I've never thought of it as being "weird." I've never personally heard of a girl dumping a guy just because he's a virgin. In my opinion that's a stupid reason to break up with someone.