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Thread: "I was raped" T-shirt

  1. #21
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    I think shirts like those might have their place at protests or rally's, but some girl at the grocery store wearing it? I'm not so sure it really does any good and does seem to detract from the seriousness.

  2. #22
    Gold Member jmantra's Avatar
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    ummm I found the shirt I don't think it's a joke, but it's still messed up to me.

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  3. #23

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    Put it this way......I was in a bank awhile back and the teenager was wearing a shirt that in neon green said "Question ALL Authority".

    The teller asked him a question, she took his answer as being contradictory and combative......and before you know it he was up against the wall, in handcuffs, by the armed security guard.

    With good reason....while what he was doing or saying might not have been intended to be combative, what he was wearing in conjunction with his question appeared to make him combative in character....and nobody was going to wait for his character to emerge thru his fists or a gun.

    "I was raped" - that can be taken in a variety of ways. And the reaction to it is going to be in alignment with the person reading it. The person wearing it might find themselves stared at, moved away from, avoided, they might find themselves hugged by a stranger trying to show compassion for thier victimization, they might find themselves with numerous offers from males inappropriately to show them a good hard time vs. an assault.

    The person wearing it - would want to take thier heart off their sleeve, their objective mindset with them at all times, and their awareness of all people and situations as it unfolds around them every moment.

  4. #24
    Gold Member jmantra's Avatar
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    Ya I would be very uncomfortable around someone wearing a shirt like that

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  6. #25

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    It's a terrible and insensitive idea. Many survivors could be subject to flashbacks and panic attacks upon being exposed to such a slogan. They should never be forced into public confrontation with their fears.

    I have a better suggestion. Currently, convicted and jailed sex criminals are held sequestered from general inmate populations because they would be routinely attacked and sometimes killed if they were not. Remove this special privilege for rapists and I think we'd start to see their numbers dwindle very quickly by the dual action of enhanced deterrence and removal from the gene pool.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Aleadragonhawk's Avatar
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    I can see this as not being for everyone. I can also see her reasons for doing it. It's kind of weird but seeing the design for the actual shirt made me understand it better - it's not in huge print. It's not neon pink letters. It's small, hard to see almost, and ensconced inside an open safe - something that's no longer being hidden.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by jmantra
    ummm I found the shirt I don't think it's a joke, but it's still messed up to me.

    link removed
    Well, if that's the case, then it is pretty ridiculous, but if the wear thinks it will help them in their healing, then good for them. I have no problem with it.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member rosephase's Avatar
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    I was raped when I was a kid. I wouldn't ware that shirt, except if it was a mass protest. I could see it making a good point about just how much of this is going on and how little of it we know about. I think just the fact that we are talking about it is a reason for shirts like that to be around.

  10. #29

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    I viewed the shirt.......and take my word for it - in 10 years the person who designed it and is promoting the wearing of it is going to regret it.

    There's many phases to grief, and recovery from any type of victimization. She's in a phase where she wants to empower herself by stating 'this happened to me but it does not define me".

    Unfortunately, that is a phase - it's not recovery in full - becuase in having to declare to the world it is not your defining marker - it becomes just that.

    The design itself is inappropriate. A shirt that demands the reader stare to read small print is simply going to invoke stares, and when the reader actually is able to make out the verbage - there is going to be a more overt and public reaction to the verbage - than if it were clearly legible and able to be overlooked at a single glance.

    It is one thing to wear the shirt in a protest forum, or in an informative session - as the people there are already in awareness of the topic at hand.

    to wear it in public - makes a statement about the wearer and their insecurities and issues it's announcing to the public that one must treat me with kid-gloves or with excessive gentleness, as a result of my victimization.

    People not inclined to deal with open, gaping wounds - are simply going to take pity on the person wearing the shirt, not take it as a statement. They're going to pity the plight if she endured the crime, but they're going to avoid the mindset that encourages awareness of her victimization in public.

    At the point where you have no point to prove, you have proven your point. She's trying to make headlines and proving her issues - in doing it.

    At some point, if her recovery from the victimization comes full circle - the rape will be what she terms the "best thing that ever happened to her." While she wouldn't wish it on others, nor on herself, she'll have taken the incident and allowed it to teach her volumes aboutu her own perceptions, perspectives, needs, and desires, it'll be what fueled her quest for self-responsiblity and self-awareness and acceptance. At the point she's an accredited success because she learned the lessons from the victimization, she is no longer going to want to be known as the person who wore the "i was raped" t-shirt..and she won't be able to get away from that reality, nor will sshe be able to make the point that the most awful circumstances in life can be the most inspiring to self-awareness experiences in your life - if you allow them to be.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Lana0120's Avatar
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    I agree with Excalibur's comments. I also think that Daddy Bear has raised an important issue as well - that anyone who feels comfortable wearing it, will enforce their feelings on and may make others who have been victims, feel uncomfortable and even have flashbacks. There's something about those words.

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