I let him in.

Everyone is going to be so disappointed in me when they read this thread Believe me I am kicking myself in the a$$ today and I have no one to blame for this pain but ME. I wish someone were there to stop me

He came over lastnight and I let him in. I LET HIM IN! WHY DID I DO THAT?!

He came over to get his sweater, but he stayed beyond getting his sweater. So we talked ... and we talked ... I don't know where any of it is going to lead and especially don't know what any of it is supposed to mean ... ](*,)

He said he wanted to talk but that it wouldn't matter if we talked because we are over. I said yeah, we're over so. Then he got mad at me for saying we were over, like really over. When he had said it two seconds before. I don't get that. He said we're really over because I didn't act like I cared when he broke up with me. That I didn't CALL or whatever. GEE, I wonder flippin why?!?!? So now it's ALL MY FAULT because I DIDN'T CHASE HIM!

He went on about how good of a person "that girl" is. But how she is nothing more then a friend and how she will never be more then that. How they'll always be friends. I looked at him and I said why are you talking about her like that in front of me ... telling me how good of a person she is. HE shut up dead in his tracks.

He wouldn't look at me the entire time we were talking. It's like he can't face me. I don't know what he's scared of. Then he sat on the bed and I stood in front of him ... gosh, I can't even remember the words that were coming out of my mouth. I said something and then he grabbed me ... I thought he was going to move me out of the way so he could leave but instead he laid me on the bed and got on top of me and started kissing me. I kissed him back We kept kissing. Then he stopped and said what are you thinking right now 1...2....3 and IDIOT ME said I still love you He went on to kiss me ... then I told him it was his turn and here is what he said IM CAPABLE OF LOVING YOU ... WTH is that supposed to mean!?

So in a nut-shell he left saying that he 'still loved me' but that he wants his life. He also left saying ... he had to go because he doesn't want anyone thinking that we are together ....

Im so hurt and I am so confused. I blame me. Someone please knock some sense into me . . .

I am so sorry I did this . . . Im hating myself right now. I don't know where I stand . . . Im back at square one again . . .

You need to stop talking to him and letting into your house, precisely because you feel this way afterwards. When someone hurts you so much, you shouldn't let them in, in any sense. What's done is done, just tell yourself, you don't want to hurt like this again, so make sure you keep him away from you. He's poisonous.

Oh barbie =(

I feel for you honestly. I know how hard it is, how much you must feel like you've taken tons of steps backwards and how you've given in to him.

If he's there infront of your face, its so hard to not give in, this is all still fairly fresh. After all the hurtful things he's said to you, giving in to some affection from him would of been easy. But you know, you have to look back over what he's done to you, the things he's said. If he'd of had his way he probably would of slept with you, and gotten the sex he had already said he wanted, then you would of been absolutely smacking yourself.

Be glad that it did'nt go that far. Remember this for next time right? You caved, you told him you still loved him... but he's gone again now, it must be a harsh reality. But you have to deal with it, and learn from this mistake. Its done now. Any other time he comes to you, remember what he's done here. Remind yourself of the pain you feel afterward. Don't let him near you anymore.

...it begins.....

you know exactly why you let him in Barbie. Which is why we all suggested he get his sweater through other means. You arent over him fully, figuratively and literally you left the door open and you let him come back in. No surprise there.

So, now you can see the crossroads. You keep kissing him, you keep fooling around and talking to him and 'letting him in' and you know where it will get you. Because you just came from there... OR, you shake your head, shake all this free and remember where you were going with your life before he stepped through the door again.

Stay strong.

I would treat that as a small step back from the plan, but I would still keep walking the same path (of not letting him in).

Yes, leaving him in was a bad choice - but I wouldn't be so harsh toward myself if I were you.

You can still decide that you just had a little made out session and that you need to go back to NC.

I don't think he can be real relationship material - he acts like a kid.

And you know you can't trust him and that in the long run you would go nuts with all the doubts you would feel.

It must have been such a cold night since he needed his sweater that badly ;-)

poor guy he has only one to wear and you never gave it back to him ;-)

and.. just to ask... is his name Mac? your profile picture is worrying me a bit. have you turned back to the dark side?

and.. just to ask... is his name Mac? your profile picture is worrying me a bit. have you turned back to the dark side?

no, his name isnt mac. mac is makeup ... also the company i work for.

what do you all have to say about the things he said?? it makes no sense to me ..... does he love me , does he not ??? what ... i dont know! im so at square one. i dont knwo what he meant by any of it ........ im capable of loving you ..... wth and then 20 minutes later I STILL LOVE YOU. what is going on!?

Well dont beat yourself up first off. Dont let this person have that much control over you. Second tisk tisk for falling into the trap, now get up dust off your Levis and get moving. Learn how bad it feels to expect something and not receive it. He may "love" you in his own way but its not what you want. It obvious he doesnt love you like you want to be loved. Plus this douche bag had the nerve to mention that other track lady. That aint classy at all. Dont let this person manipulate you. Its easy just tell him to leave you alone. Hang out with your other guy friends and if this guy does really need to come and "pick up a sweater" have one of your guy friends there. He wont try anything. Cheer up Mrs Barbie it will be okay.

what do you all have to say about the things he said?? it makes no sense to me ..... does he love me , does he not ??? what ... i dont know! im so at square one. i dont knwo what he meant by any of it ........ im capable of loving you ..... wth and then 20 minutes later I STILL LOVE YOU. what is going on!?

eh...he has no idea what he feels and wants - thats why he's so confusing.

So thats why you have no idea what he wants - you can't know since he has no clue either.

He has the same behavior pattern that he used to have while you were dating.

Oh Barbie...

What a setback.......you have to keep remembering that he is an ass, that he said you were just a good lay, that he has been so incredibly cruel with his words and actions.

What do you think is going through his mind right now?? I can bet my last dollar that he is thinking how easy it was to get right back in your bed, even though you didn't sleep with him. He knows he can get you there.......

You have to stand your ground and keep going NC.......

Or else you will only be known to him as the great lay girl that allows him to act like an ass and get away with it.

he told me that he was mad at me because he sees me out with my guy friends. UM HELLO??? did you not pretty much break up with me because of "that girl?" i see them out and about ALL THE TIME and he has the nerve to say that he's mad at me for hanging out with guys!!! are you serious?

This is a setback but no reason why you can't hop on the horse exactly where you left off.

He doesn't love you barbie. His behavior is very indicative of someone trying to play the one up game. He thought you would chase him and not because he loves you but because he has serious deep rooted maturity issues.

he told me that he was mad at me because he sees me out with my guy friends. UM HELLO??? did you not pretty much break up with me because of "that girl?" i see them out and about ALL THE TIME and he has the nerve to say that he's mad at me for hanging out with guys!!! are you serious?

Ok, so he's mad but then he wants to have a makeout session? He's deranged...... Disturbed and deranged......

Capable of loving someone and loving them are two completely different things. He LOVES hurting you. That's all...nothing more nothing less.....

let him be her problem now. Don't you truly believe that you deserve so much more?

Ok, so he's mad but then he wants to have a makeout session? He's deranged...... Disturbed and deranged......

 

Capable of loving someone and loving them are two completely different things. He LOVES hurting you. That's all...nothing more nothing less.....

 

let him be her problem now. Don't you truly believe that you deserve so much more?

you're right. i do deserve more. it's like my head tells me NO, but my heart ..... my heart 3

you're right. i do deserve more. it's like my head tells me NO, but my heart ..... my heart 3

Your heart needs to be reminded that he doesn't care about you. Remind your heart of that vial e-mail he sent you. Remind your heart, from his mouth to your ears.........You were just a great lay....

he said he was drunk when he said all that about me being only a 'good lay' and when he said he never loved me.

he said he was drunk when he said all that about me being a 'good lay' and when he said he never loved me.

which means he really means that...take it from one who has done that

was he drunk when he said "I'm capable of loving you" ?

Being drunk is never an excuse.......Have you ever heard of the saying

A drunk mind speaks the truth?

i love him. i still love him. after everything he's done ... i still love him. i can't hate him.

he looked so good. his kiss felt so good. his body on mine felt so good. it felt right but oh so wrong at the same time.

the answers are all in front of you barb, just say to yourself "i can do this"

You are doubting fate too much right now, this is a test to see if you are really truly ready to change and to acknowledge that you deserve more than what this guy is offering you. You have all the power now, and you know what to do with it. So pick yourself up and keep trucking! We are all here rooting for you.

was he drunk when he said "I'm capable of loving you" ?

 

Being drunk is never an excuse.......Have you ever heard of the saying

 

A drunk mind speaks the truth?

no, no he was drunk when said that he didn't ever love me ... and drunk when he said i was only a good lay.

he's just mind screwing. he wants to know that he can have you if he wanted to have you. what a deranged guy.

Ok barbie, you had a minor setback. You can still move forward from this. I've had setbacks too. Its hard, no matter how much they hurt you we still manage to have some glimmer of hope that there really is good. But you have made the biggest step of all, you left him. You start over today, fresh. Don't worry about the fact that you let him in, that's in the past, start over now.

i love him. i still love him. after everything he's done ... i still love him. i can't hate him.

 

he looked so good. his kiss felt so good. his body on mine felt so good. it felt right but oh so wrong at the same time.

there are better kissers out there, plenty of bodies feel good...and some of the are nice men