Ask For Advice
Page 5 of 8 FirstFirst ... 2345678 LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 77

Thread: When a guy says your amazing but " does not want a relationship?"

  1. #41
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    44
    Posts
    10,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    18
    How do you guys just have the courage to walk away from something like this, especially if the guy means something to you and you have some bonds with him?

  2. #42
    pinkelephant
    Platinum Member pinkelephant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Lala land
    Age
    28
    Posts
    5,681
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    8
    or they could just be lazy and don't want a relationship because of the work it takes.


    me personally right now, i say that line a lot. because i don't want to put into the efforts of building a relationship right now. :S

    regardless, listen to the guy, back off. whether he's geniune or feeding a line, the end result's the same - he isn't relationship material right now.

  3. #43
    GetMeBack
    Gold Member GetMeBack's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Somewhere happy...
    Posts
    666
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]
    How do you guys just have the courage to walk away from something like this, especially if the guy means something to you and you have some bonds with him?
    I know what you mean renaissance...when you like them its hard but everything I feel for someone I want to be fully reciprocated its the absolute least we deserve...

  4. #44
    Aviatormy
    Platinum Member Aviatormy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Albuquerque NM
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,161
    Gender
    Male
    Totally of the subject but I get off work in about 10 minutes and I am way excited for this weekend!!!! I get to see the last girl I told that "I love you, your amazing but i am not ready for a relationship" tonight. BTW... we ARE in fact dating and VERY happy! Hang in there ladies... I am on... I mean Prince charming is on his way! HA HA! MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAH! OXOXOXOX

  5. #45
    itsallgrand
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    14,796
    Thanked
    2118
    lol. Ok, don't blow your second chance! That's cool. Be good to the girl.

  6. #46
    Aviatormy
    Platinum Member Aviatormy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Albuquerque NM
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,161
    Gender
    Male
    its not my second chance.. its OUR first chance. I sure hope there is never a second chance cause that would mean that I am actually in love with the girl... we'll see So far.... sooooooooooo good. mmmmm. She loves me... I know it! ha ha. But who wouldn't.

  7. #47
    itsallgrand
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    14,796
    Thanked
    2118
    Woo hoo, somebody's gonna have a great weekend.

    That evil laugh is ringing in my ears now. lol.

  8. #48
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    37
    Posts
    46,397
    Thanked
    1561
    i agree. most of the time, it's just that a guy is not interested enough in you, for whatever reason, if he is using the 'do not want a relationship' line. i'd thank him for his honesty and move on. i wouldn't sit around and wait for him to change his mind or to get over his ex or whatever.

    i have a friend whose boyfriend broke up with her after 2 months saying he didn't want a committed relationship, he couldn't handle it. 6 months later, he was engaged to be married to another woman. just goes to show, when a guy meets the right one, his fear of committment can vanish like that!

    i had a guy tell me he didn't want a relationship, and then started to explain to me how 'friends with benefits' is the perfect type of relationship to be in. no thanks.

    i wouldn't overanalyze it. i'd take him at his word and move on.

  9. #49
    browneyedgirl36
    Platinum Member browneyedgirl36's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Someplace Sunny!
    Posts
    4,497
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    881
    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 [Register to see the link]
    How do you guys just have the courage to walk away from something like this, especially if the guy means something to you and you have some bonds with him?
    Well, in my case, Ren, I had no choice...I hung on for as long as I could, and the longer I hung on, the more painful it became -- far more painful than if I had let him go much earlier, before my feelings for him had deepened. And, the fact that he ended up taking his ex back just exponentially increased the pain. If I had had the courage to walk away much, much sooner -- heck, even a little bit sooner -- I wouldn't have experienced nearly the pain that I did (and still do) over this guy.

    The thing is, I NEVER pushed him or rushed him. I just wanted to date him to see where it could go, though I admit I certainly hoped it would turn into a serious relationship. I expressed to him that I didn't want to rush, that I was happy to take things slowly, but...he was still hung up on his ex and couldn't give me even that little bit that I asked for. Bottom line: He was still holding out for her to come back. I give him credit for not letting me think he wanted to be serious with me and then dumping me for her when she came back, but still, the whole thing was quite painful, particularly when he announced to me that he had taken her back after she had hurt him so badly, several times.

    This is why I have decided that, the next time I date a guy and he says he is "not looking for a relationship" or "can't be in a relationship right now" or whatever, I will say "Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping to get to know you better and see where it could go. I wish you the best," and then that's it. I will not pursue him further. If I really like the guy, I might let him know that, if he changes his mind and wants to explore where things could go with us, that he knows how to contact me. Not that I will sit around and wait, though. Life is too short to put up with wishy-washiness. I'd rather be out having fun with my friends and family and doing my own thing than attempting to date someone who isn't interested enough in me to put in some effort.

  10. #50
    browneyedgirl36
    Platinum Member browneyedgirl36's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Someplace Sunny!
    Posts
    4,497
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    881
    Exactly, Annie. My ex told me he makes a "terrible boyfriend," that he didn't think he believed in relationships anymore, etc. Funny, though, the minute his ex came back into the picture, he could suddenly be a boyfriend and suddenly believed in relationships. Go figure. At least he went back to her, rather than finding someone else. It made me realize that it isn't about me at all, really.

    Come to think of it, I had another guy tell me the "I can't be in a relationship right now" thing, a few years back. The funny thing is that, when we were first dating, he was really pushing for a relationship. Actually, what I think he was pushing for was sex, and when I didn't sleep with him immediately, he suddenly cooled off. He actually e-mailed me (even though we'd been dating for almost two months), to tell me "I think it would be best if we were just friends for now." He went on to tell me that he couldn't be in a relationship, too much stuff happening in his life, etc. I found out later that he had a new girlfriend almost immediately. Ha! Whatever. I wasn't really "into" him anyway, but it's yet another example of that line being a crock.

  11.  

Page 5 of 8 FirstFirst ... 2345678 LastLast
Top Threads
Question About Multi-Dating And Sex
This is to the ladies who multi-date, but men feel free to chime in too. Last summer, I multi-dated a little bit (no sex), but I never really
"Falling in Love" according to an evolutionary psychologist:
So, I've been listening to a podcast called "Beat Your Genes" by Dr. Doug Lisle, a clinical psychologist who approaches psychology from a
What if she doesn't say I Love You Back?
Hi everyone. I have been dating my girlfriend since January. After long hard thought I have finally come to realise that I love her. I totally accept
His ex is still in the picture..
So, I've been dating this guy for a few months now (known him for over a year.) Yesterday he posted a photo on his social media of him with animals
dating pet peeve-can it be stopped?
Hi, all! I have this HUGE pet peeve. Just about every time I go on a first date, I get pressured for sex. It doesn't matter how I dress. I don't act
Head over heels over someone I've never met
So a few months ago I decided to try out online dating. After a weeks of trying it out, I found someone that was perfect for me. We had the same
I can't quit thinking about him. What is my next move?
So there is this guy that I can NOT quit thinking about and I need some guidance. I'm 29 and haven't dated too much the last few years. I'm super

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My boyfriend doesn't text me as much anymore?
My boyfriend would text me everyday all day and now he won't text me first anymore or at all sometimes. Last night he stopped replying to my text so
Is she the rebound
If he leaves a 17 year relationship to date his High School Sweetheart from 32 years ago, is she a rebound ?
I want to break NC after almost 2 months to invite my ex gf to a concert
We have been in NC for almost 2 months after being together for 6 years. She stopped responding to a text i sent her. I saw she was interested in
Online dating, and why it doesn't work well for most men
We discussed this before, and for some reason people got personal and mean about it. So I have no intention of returning to this thread, but I wanted
PLEASE HELP, boyfriend talks to mom 4-5 times per day, very odd relationship....
Hi guys, Always been hesitant to post my personal business online. Anyways... here it goes... So my boyfriend is amazing...(just to throw this
Hurtful joking
My bf jokes about things that are very hurtful. Today was probably one of the most hurtful. He tried to grab my breasts and he does this a lot. He's
He dumped me and won't return my stuff
So I was seeing a guy for a short amount of time. Out of the blue....he blocked me? Fair enough, I get the message, I think it's rude but
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •