Any stories of ex coming back after they said no chance?

Just wanted to know if anyone had positive stories of ex coming back after they said there was no chance.....

I am feeling down today about my breakup - although I am much better than even a month ago (we have been split since Dec 1 and I am in NC for 3 weeks)...it is hard to believe that someone who said they wanted to marry me the day before she broke up with me does not want m ein her life in any way shape or form....

Just looking for some encouragement or uplifting stories

Well, sort of. He told me he could never see his feelings coming back in the near future. I did NC for 2 months, then hung out as friends for another month, then in Jan we started seeing one another regularly, staying over, intimacy again....but there is no committment from him. In fact it's been incredibly hard, because he's hot and cold, and I know he flirts with other women. Sometimes he's all over me - other times as cold as can be. We've talked about getting back together, but it never happens. Now he's moving away in a month, so it's been hard.

Just be careful. If I could go back, I would not have had sex with him until I got some sort of committment. I missed and loved being with him so much that the feeling of him wanting me intimatley again was my weakness. But then, I probably wouldnt have gotten a committment anyway.

Just be careful. He's done so many things that have hurt since this 'friends with benefits' thing started. I never agreed for it to be that, and he did tell me that he thought he wanted me back too in the beginning. Don't go back unless you know it's for real. After 3 months apart I was actually healing and getting on with my life - but now my emotions run high all the time.

Not trying to put you off, just be careful and be strong.

Personally, the only way to survive heartbreak is to crush hope. Yes, there are exceptions where someone comes back and all is well... but they are exceptions, and to hope to be one of them is to prolong the time it takes that you hurt, and put off your healing.

Sometimes with time and space, they do come back. The time and space allows them to miss you.

Unlike the other poster, I don't like to quash people's hopes and dreams.

Sometimes hope is a very powerful thing and motivator.

How's this for a story...my brother's past two ex girlfriends both started up contact and wanted to get back with him in the same week! He has a gf now but is still in love with one of them, which is making things difficult for him, I should think.

Only, I find myself incredibly jealous because, afterall, I'm a nice guy. I was a good catch. And I'm still waiting for my ex to come back to me.

It doesn't look like it's going to happen, though. GrahGrah is right, though. I've been in NC for almost 2 months now. The first month has been fine, because I started to put her out of my head.

Now I'm wondering why she hasn't called by now to reconcile. I find myself unable to think about anything else but her. And it's driving me crazy that 2 gfs come back to my bro, and my ex won't come back to me...and she's the love of my life!

A few breakups are followed by reconciliation, just as a few people win lotteries.

Some of them breakup again because the problems haven't changed.

Hope keeps you from starting to heal, since aceptance is the first step of the process. Some people take months or years to realize it's time to start recovery and stop living in the past.

Let go, buy a lottery ticket and move on.

I believe that there is always a chance and NC WORKS!!! It not only works in the fact that it gives the other person time to miss you, but it also works because it helps YOU find YOU!!! Many times we get so lost in relationships that we forget who we are, or we lost ourselves along the way - especially during a breakup. It's a time for you to find new and fun things to do (although, I'll be honest - no one wants to do that right away!) and it helps you figure out what went wrong so you can fix it and fix yourself just in case they do come back, or for the next person you are going to date.

This site is a great place to come and get help and everyone is VERY honest that sometimes it does hurt, but it's what we need to hear and understand because many times you are blinded by the pain.

I post on here all the time to get advice for a lot of things, most importantly my bf. We were engaged and broke up in late September. I did NC and we started dating again in mid-November. I'm a firm believer that if it's meant to be, it will be. It was really a dark time for me, but I put my faith in the Big Guy above and my bf and I are very happy. I won't lie though, the getting back together hasn't been easy because you have to build a relationship again - one different than the one you had before and that is VERY hard for me - most of my posts on here are about exactly that! So just understand, as I had NO clue, that it does take work if she does come back.

But do what you have to do now to survive and take care of you - let the chips fall where they may!

Good Luck!

I to have tried the LC thing and that went really badly wrong so am on NC at the moment.

The best anyone can do is at least leave the relationship on as best terms as possible, if it does get messy, apologise ONCE for YOUR part in it, and response or not leave it at that. Because i believe it is easier for you to move on and her to miss you if things arn't left unsaid. When you have made your position clear you have left the door open, if she doesnt come through it in time you may just find another door that is more appealing and leave her behind the previous one.

Mine has come back. NC helped. I'm not exactly sure how I even feel about this though. The way I've approached it is as if we're having an almost fresh start. There's still a few things that I'm angry with her about though, we'll see if they can be overcome.

But that being said, I actually don't want to encourage you to think she'll come back. I never thought mine would come back after she broke up with me, and I said some extremely harsh things to her that I thought would ensure she'd never feel comfortable trying to remain in my life. It was a combination of her finding out that the grass on the other side is in fact not greener, and a somewhat chance event that brought us back.

While we're on the topic of ending things on good terms...

This is probably a good idea, because an ex might want to get in touch with you to to apologize and whatever...if they have any morals.

And if you get dumped and things are on bad terms, and the ex won't stop calling (only to apologize) it may set you back because you might start thinking the ex wants to give it another go rather than just apologize.

Better to leave things on good terms.

jamieboy, I like that about going through another door. And I hope that happens...only...

I'm afraid even if I get into a new relationship and things are going really well and the ex comes back, I'll go right back to the ex.

That's what's keeping me from dating anyone new right now because if the ex comes back, that's what I'd probably do.

In one of my relationships, my ex dumped me. We were LC for a month, then NC for two months. He emailed me out of the blue from there and wanted to get back. I took him back. A year later he left me again, this time is was nasty and I went total NC. It was done, no hope for anything.

Forward to two weeks ago (3 yrs after the breakup) and he called me at work to say "hi, and asked if I wanted to go for a drink"

I laughed and said "no thanks"

My ex of 11 yrs left me for another women, 2 yrs later he came back begging to get back with me. Again, I laughed and said "no"

When I was 22, I left my boyfriend of 6 yrs for another guy (guy I was with for 11 yrs) and I would have never went back b/c I was in love with someone else.

Now, 3 weeks ago, I left my now ex. I'm totally heart broken and am not sure I will ever get back with him. I miss him like crazy, but we clashed at every turn. He was not willing to work on some serious issues, so I walked.

Will I take him back, maybe, but only if he gets some help. He may meet someone else as can I..........so basically, returning to an ex is all relative.

I agree. I'm tired of feeling like I'm just the 'back burner' girl. Maybe him leaving is a good thing.

Im in the same boat, right now, if she came back, i would run back to her however it is more likely that by the time that happened i would myself be in a stronger position to enable me to make a decision based on what is best for ME.

The fact that you are thinking you would run back to your ex probably does mean your not ready to move on yet, but there is nothing wrong with that. i think we are both in that inbetween stage where we are trying to get over our ex but not that interested in anyone else. If you think about it only one of two things can happen, your ex will either come back before you get past this stage or one day you will meet someone and it will just feel "right". And maybe after that your ex will come back and you can be in a position to way up the pros and cons in a none emotional way!

also if your not feeling ready to move on thats probably benificial to the next person you meet because you wont be involving their feelings into the whole equasion by giving out the impression you are ready to commit when your not!

How's this for a story...my brother's past two ex girlfriends both started up contact and wanted to get back with him in the same week! He has a gf now but is still in love with one of them, which is making things difficult for him, I should think.

This happened to me last year!! I had just started seeing my now ex/fwb whatever he is, and 2 people whom I had loved dearly decided they both wanted me back. They had both had ample opportunity to be with before when I was single - but no, had to be when someone else actually wanted me. So I had to deal with feelings in a new relationship and 2 men who were both telling me they loved me and wanted a serious future with me. I chose to stay with the new guy - who later dumped me

When it rains it pours. Why is that!!!!

Unlike the other poster, I don't like to quash people's hopes and dreams.

I wasn't trying to kill their hope Ren. I was just saying yeah they can come back, but make sure it's real. Not just some half-arsed thing. Just want the best for the OP.

He was referring to me.

I WAS trying to crush hope - I've only stopped crying every single day since I realised my ex would never ask for me to come back. I don't mean getting rid of all hope - just THAT specific one. Then you can move on, get on with your life - if it happens your ex wants you back - it happens. But you shouldn't hope or plan for it.

Yeah, sometimes hope is the only thing that keeps people going...

But you have to be realistic. There's a big difference between being negative and being realistic. Most people don't recognize this.

Sometimes by being realistic, you have to realize that all hope is gone.

Hey...500 posts! Look at that! It sure has been a long road.

Yep, I'm a realist for sure too but I too get mistaken for being negative. Hope is a double edged sword indeed.

i dont think hope does always stop people moving on because it can cushion the blow a little, and one day you will probably wake up and the hope will have gone along with the expectation and then you can get on with life with out without your ex returning.

I'm torn between agreeing with the people that say to crush hope and finding it harsh to think like that.

I agree that hope is one of the strongest motivators. But blind hope is dangerous. Remember the story of Pandora's box? There are two interpretations of that story...is hope a benefit or just another evil?

I say this because it's taken me so long to heal from my break up (almost 8 months now) and the reason is because there's always that tiny tiny percentage of probability that I hold onto that he may mature and be willing to discuss the issues and want to fix them. I feel like I'm torturing myself with this hope, as small as it is. Maybe by killing that is the only way I can release myself and let myself move forward and make room for a new hope that has a higher probability of being realized.

But can we really kill hope? I've been trying to for the last few months!

But can we really kill hope? I've been trying to for the last few months!

I've been trying to for the past year!!!

She wouldn't leave me alone all this while. When she said she didn't want a commitment anymore, I said well I can't be friends. My feelings are too strong, blah blah blah. So I went full NC. Then a few weeks later, she'd say she isn't ready to let me go, etc.

This went on and on, over and over again for the past year.

Finally, about 2 months ago, I went NC and have been in it ever since. I finally got what I wanted--she stopped contacting me. And yet now it seems like I'm more depressed than ever.

I get what I've wanted for over a year--she's outta my life for good. And now dealing with the reality of that seems to be a little overbearing. What I really wanted was for her to come back to me.

I don't know if we can - but I'm damn well trying.

Everytime I catch myself thinking - maybe he'll realise what he lost, or, maybe if he returns from America and if he's single, he'll want me again... (a couple of big ifs in the second one)...

Then I have to just remind myself how damn certain and decisive he was and is. If I want to move on, be happy again - if I want to be able to be friends with him, I need to KNOW it is over. I know it is, but dont' believe it, if you know what I mean? (Doesn't help that EVERYone who knew us both thought we were amazing for each other. GRR!)

hope certainly does keep you from moving on emotionally, and then things like finding out they are seeing someone else can be all the more crushing. but it is really hard to just let it go - to just "decide" to have no more hope.

i think i recently got taken by what someone else mentioned on here - misinterpreting and thinking he still had feelings when he was actually just apologizing. he said our relationship had been really significant to him and the pain ran deep when we separated. since he never said anything like that to me before, and we are about to see each other when he is in town, i thought he was trying to rekindle things. i'm pretty sure i was wrong.

amazing how i thought i'd really moved on, then 10 months later he says that little thing showing he had some deep feelings for me, and i'm right back in it with the hope!

part of what made me think.. maaaaybe one daaaay.... a couple different mature and wise friends both said "maybe one day in the future it will work for you two". seemed they chalked it up to timing since he went away to school and maybe the external circumstances were the main reason for our split. but why do people say that? do they really think that or are they just saying the first thing that pops in their heads to try to ease your pain? these people didn't seem like people who would just "say" that thoughtlessly, but i don't think those words made letting go of hope easier for me.

My former fiancee and I broke up 2 months ago and I feel like I'm here and there.

I feel like we're getting back together slowly...but I dare not ask if we are.

I'm the kind of person who likes to know what's going on...

But maybe that's not always wise? Maybe sometimes going with the flow is better?

Is anyone else like me...and really damn inpatient?

Yes!! That's the annoying thing about hope isn't it? That seed. Even if you think you pulled out all the stems the roots. There's always a tiny bit left you didn't realize just waiting for something to allow it to grow.