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Thread: I don't trust my boyfriend

  1. #21
    Platinum Member EQD's Avatar
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    she's jealous and insecure about it. thats all. women also can be very territorial and confrontational.
    In reality she isnt as much mad at the woman as she is mad at the situation.
    Either way women tend to take their frustrations out on other women anyway.
    I do think the OP is being a bit unreasonable in this situation however.

  2. #22
    Bronze Member Japanfreak05's Avatar
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    The reason I'm mad at the girl is.....

    Me and her talked Wed. morning, she waited till valentine's day morning (thursday) to tell him me and her had talked. She had allllllllllllll Wed. to say something to him. Why did she need to tell him in the first place? I don't know. But he got mad at me and didn't come to my house or speak to me on valentine's day. She got what she wanted, him mad at me, but not mad at her. Who knows what she told him I said....but I told him what really went down so I hope he believes me and not her.

    That's why I don't like her. She didn't need to talk to me from the beginning. I don't think she was trying to be nice at all when she said what she said. I know she had a huge crush on him, then he met me and got with me, she didn't get a chance. So I doubt what she said to me is coming from the heart. That's all.

  3. #23
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    Okay, I understand but the bottom line is you deserve to be in a relationship where you trust the guy who you are with and he should trust you completely as well, no matter who he is talking to or who you are talking to... so if you discover that you in a situation where you are feeling, anger, resentment, jealous, then maybe it's time to look at YOUR relationship WITH HIM, instead of focusing on his relationship with her.

    That's all I"m saying, that she is merely representing a "symptom" of the real underlying "illness" so to speak that is present between you and your boyfriend.

    Even if she went away tomorrow never to be heard from again, you and your boyfriend would still most likely have the same problems of mis-trust, power struggles, not being able to speak to people of the opposite sex, and jealousy issues with each other. Do you know what I mean?

    Because right now she is an excuse or distraction from what the real issues may be..don't you think?
    Last edited by blender; 02-19-2008 at 03:23 PM.

  4. #24
    Bronze Member Japanfreak05's Avatar
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    Yeah I understand what your saying. You are right....

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  6. #25
    Member jaded22's Avatar
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    hey girl -

    another thing i have learned...dont EVER LET THE GIRL KNOW YOU ARE UPSET. Ever. I used to call the crazy girl, tell her why i was mad, get her even MORE involved. I would demand her tell me what was going on and if my bf lied to me or not..dont do this. All this does it let her see how much you hate her, how much impact she has on YOUR life. This will feed her ego.

    SO for the future..dont contact her. ever. FOR ANYTHING!


    & as much as she might suck...this is more your bf's issue then hers. Hes making the choice to talk to her, hes making the choice to keep her around. You can be as mad at her as you want, and i know how you feel, ive been there, but you have to focus on what your BOYFRIEND is doing about the situation, which right now is nothing.

    Also, dont ever drop friends for a bf unless they are becoming physical with you in a disturbing way or caushing strife to your relationship i.e. hitting on you, not knowing their boundaries. This is unhealthy. So def. keep talking to your male friends. & if bf complains, you tell him that you are your own person just like he is, and you can do what you want!

  7. #26
    Gold Member Mavis VDSande's Avatar
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    I think this situation has gone wildly out of hand because you have spoken to her about this issue and you've made it clear to your bf that you don't trust him and would rather question this girl, than accept his answers directly.

    I think you need to think about what you're doing and what your aims are. As jaded22 has pointed out - if you ever trust your bf again, it won't be anything to do with this woman. It will be a result of your rels becoming stronger -> not the source of distrust simply going away.

    It might be a good idea to give you and your bf a day or two of space and then have an honest conversation somewhere quiet about why you feel insecure about this friend, why you feel it's unfair for him to not let you talk to your male friends, why you feel hurt when he can't tell you where he really is going -> and where you both want your rels to head.

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