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Thread: how long does it take for ex's to realize they miss you?

  1. #1
    ditzygirl

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    how long does it take for ex's to realize they miss you?

    i was wondering.. with all this NC and LC stuff...

    does anyone know how long does it normally takes for a person to realize they actually miss u in their life? i just broke up last week and did the NC thing since last wednesday (6 days now).... i ran into my ex breifly over the weekend at a bar.. he was iwth his guy firends and i was with a group of firends.. (guys and girls) ... there was particularly 1 boy that i was talking to more tha the others.

    anyway.. my ex didnt seem bothered at alll.. we didnt say hi to each other. his firends saw me and they said hi to mee... but me and my ex just completely avoided each other. it was so sour.

    for those of u that NC acutalyl did work.. how long did it take for them to start contacting you? and for the dumpers, do u ever regret breaking up with ur ex and wanted them back?

  2. #2
    darkpumpkin
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    It's really a catch22. Dumpee's use NC so they can get over their ex. Some never contact the dumper again, they heal and move on. The one's who can't accept the relationship is over usually make attempt after attempt in hopes to change the other persons mind or in a way to make them feel a bit better, though it is a brief relief.

    He may never contact you, but I have found in my experiance it's a few months before someone contacts the other. On a friendly basis or other wise.

  3. #3
    shikashika
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    well to be honest, most of the time they don't miss you, especially if they are the ones to do the breakup. When i broke up with someone , i didn't miss him at all. I think we like to hope that they miss us, but truly if they cared about us that much, and couldn't bear the thought of not being around us... they wouldn't have done the dumping!

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    AngryHeart
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    A lot of people say around 3 months after a break-up, which for it's been 2 1/2. But I dunno if that's with complete NC or what. But remember - he may never be back...that's just life for ya. The main reason for NC should be to get you back and to heal.

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    AngryHeart
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    Quote Originally Posted by shikashika [Register to see the link]
    well to be honest, most of the time they don't miss you, especially if they are the ones to do the breakup. When i broke up with someone , i didn't miss him at all. I think we like to hope that they miss us, but truly if they cared about us that much, and couldn't bear the thought of not being around us... they wouldn't have done the dumping!
    I really don't think that's true. If you were in a non-abusive relationship, for like at least a few months - they are gonna miss you sometimes no matter what. That's human nature. The catch is they may not miss you enough to want to start a relationship with you, or even contact you. Most dumpers do seem to contact at some point though.

  6. #6
    shikashika
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    Quote Originally Posted by AngryHeart [Register to see the link]
    I really don't think that's true. If you were in a non-abusive relationship, for like at least a few months - they are gonna miss you sometimes no matter what. That's human nature. The catch is they may not miss you enough to want to start a relationship with you, or even contact you. Most dumpers do seem to contact at some point though.


    Well, when I've broken up with someone, I felt relieved..I haven't missed them. It was over for a reason.

  7. #7
    love4life
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    I've been the dumper twice. In one situation, I didn't want to do it, but felt I had to because I was doing all the work and it was hurting too much. I thought of him every day for years afterwards (still do, but not emotionally). The other time, I dumped him because he was more in to me than I was in to him, and I felt nothing but pressure. I never enjoyed our time together. I'm actually friends with that one now (just saw him yesterday and turned to him for advice about my more recent ex who dumped me).

    So, I think sometimes the dumper will miss you and want the relationship to work again one day, and other times they'll feel relief and want nothing to do with you, unless it's just casual and friendly.

  8. #8
    Little Blue Ant
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    its all relative. I dumped a girl after 3 1/2 years and never really MISSED her. I still thought about her, and did feel guilty for quite a while for leaving her but never felt I wanted to go back to her. We both moved on, and only spoke a few times since. Granted, I was emotionally gone from the relationship for about a year leading to the break up, so..

    its all apples and oranges with relationships. your's is different than mine, and the next person's.

  9. #9
    fridolyn
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    I dumped my -ex- . I was happy the first few weeks. At that time I felt it was the best thing to do. Now, 3 months later. I feel bad. If I was given a second chance, I would consider it.

    But... will a "second chance" work? I'm not that sure...


    I guess it's just me feeling lonely... scared of not finding someone else... forgetting how bad I felt with her at the end...

    So, is it really love? That's not what people her tell me... It's some kind of confusion, obssession, addiction, attachment..... not love.....

    ** English is my 2nd language**

  10. #10
    tushboy
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    I don't buy the argument that they totally forget about us. I mean come on, we still know the name of the school teacher in grade 5 or something, here we are talking about some one you loved and who responded on some level atleast.

    I don't think they think about us as much as we do, but there definitely are moments when they miss us. Especially when they date/ go out with a new person.. comparisions are inevitable.

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