Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Wish my ex Happy Birthday?

  1. #1
    on3break
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    6

    Wish my ex Happy Birthday?

    My ex gf's birthday is on Tuesday and I am thinking about wishing her a Happy Birthday via text message. She broke up with me almost 6 months ago and currently has a bf but she always said she wanted to remain friends but I could be the reason why we haven't spoken since the breakup.

    My messsage would be nothing more than Happy Birthday but at the same time could mean a lot to her.

    Make the move???

  2. #2
    Dako
    Platinum Member Dako's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SoCal
    Age
    64
    Posts
    9,175
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    As long as it's only that.

  3. #3
    Stu147

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    England
    Posts
    277
    Quote Originally Posted by on3break [Register to see the link]
    My ex gf's birthday is on Tuesday and I am thinking about wishing her a Happy Birthday via text message. She broke up with me almost 6 months ago and currently has a bf but she always said she wanted to remain friends but I could be the reason why we haven't spoken since the breakup.

    My messsage would be nothing more than Happy Birthday but at the same time could mean a lot to her.

    Make the move???
    No, don't send the text, leave things be. Six months have passed with no contact between you. She has a boyfriend. Let things lie.

  4. #4
    LilBear
    Gold Member LilBear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Cape Penaigre
    Age
    30
    Posts
    842
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    6
    If you can sincerely say you have no other intentions behind the greeting.
    Please not that she
    a) might not respond
    b) her response might be something you don't want to here.

    My advice to you is don't do it.

  5. #5
    blender
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    2,546
    Do what will mean alot to YOU, not to her.. she has lost the honor of you in her life for now..she has a current boyfriend, so you can choose to respect it and her birthday pass, and let it go..

    However if you really are emotionally ready now to be her "friend' and you are okay with initiating contact and perhaps having her NOT respond, or she DOES respond and you being "a friend" will be happy with hearing all that is going on her life and about her new boyfriend, and you are happy for her, and you're not feeling emotionally vulnerable, if you truly believe you are emotionallly okay to deal with either outcome, and you will feel good in your own heart, then go ahead and send the birthday text but again, do so ONLY if it is what is sincere and honestly okay for YOUR heart.

    Depending on how it all ended, and if you have truly let go, then maybe it's more of a gift to yourself and to her to NOT send anything.

    NOT sending something, well It shows you have healed, and in time when you are sincerely emotionally ready to be a "friend" then you can always send her birthday wishes NEXT year... for now just do what is best for your own heart... because she is doing what she wants in her own life as well...

    By the way just out of curiosity, when is your birthday?

  6. #6
    on3break
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    6
    mine is in early november ... she never even acknowledged my birthday but then again i believe its because i am the reason why we no longer speak

  7. #7
    on3break
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    6
    any other thoughts? as it stand now i feel as if sending the text will bring closure for me even tho it could open dialogue between us

  8. #8
    blender
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    2,546
    Quote Originally Posted by on3break [Register to see the link]
    any other thoughts? as it stand now i feel as if sending the text will bring closure for me even tho it could open dialogue between us
    The only way you can get "closure" is to let go, and take care of yourself, forgive yourself for whatever it is you feel guilty over, if you were unable to be "friends" with her after the break up THAT WAS A WISE thing to do, so don't think that you are not friends because of you, it's more because it's too difficult to pretend to be friends after you've had your heartbroken, so you did the right thing, and now it's time to stop worrying about what SHE is thinkinig or doing or feeling...

    this could be a very empowering choice to just "let go" and NOT send any birthday wishes, just think about the week AFTER her birthday and how good you'll feel that you didn't send anything, trust that if you still have these feelings of wanting to be friends, then NEXT years birthday you can send her something,... try not to do so this year, after all she did not choose to acknowledge yours, regardless of you making an excuse for her because "it might be your fault you are no longer friends".. because the fact is you are no longer friends because she is dating someone else, and you had to deal with the heartache of a break up..

    Just do what is sincere and honest for you... don't do it because you hope to provoke some reaction in her, do it ONLY if it would make YOU feel sincere, honest and self respecting.. and if it won't cause your heart any more pain..

    Remember there is always next year, you'll be older, wiser, and who knows she may be single by then.. so why not wait till next year..

    Can you answer a few questions very honestly so that maybe we can help you decide?

    What is it that you honestly hope to happen by sending her a birthday text?
    Do you have an emotional expectation?
    Are you ready to sincerely be just a "buddy" to her?
    How will you feel after sending it, if there is no response?
    How would you feel if you didn't send anything and just kept busy with your own life?
    Last edited by blender; 01-27-2008 at 04:20 PM.

  9. #9
    billy v
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    68
    Gender
    Male
    Ive thought about wishing my ex of almost 4 months now Happy Birthday. Her bday is in June. NC since February and she started going out with one of my friends a couple days after we broke up....sucks eh? It hurt really bad when it happened but Im starting to pick up the first pieces. Its almost like I wanna wish her a Happy Bday just to show her im strong and i'll get by. Even through all the heart break that has happened, I still love her to death. I dont know why, I just do.

  10. #10
    traeh
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    172
    Don't do it. You're only going to re-open the wound. Only 6 months have passed (which is really not much time) and you KNOW deep down that you want something in return. If she has a bf, that's even more of a reason why you should keep your distance.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Really messed up
Ugh. I hate myself My ex and I broke up in March due to distance however now distance isn't an issue due to unforeseen circumstances. He however
He's still emotionally hooked on his ex
My boyfriend of 2 years is still in close contact with his ex. At first I was ok with it until I eventually asked for more info. He told me they go
Living and sleeping with ex-boyfriend
So I started seeing someone who was a really close friend through high school as well as the past few years. I moved from the mainland to Hawaii to
exgirlfriend deleted my whatsapp
we still talk but she deleted me on whatsapp, the picture wont appear. So i cant see her picture but she can see mines. We talk every 3rd or fourth
Break up Advice Needed
Hi all, I really need some advice on my recent break up with my girlfriend of almost five years. A few months ago I started to feel unhappy and
girlfriend bpd?
Hi all.long story just wanted a bit of info.my ex girlfriend of 7.5 years was perfect at first.then I started to see her telling a few lies here and
My girlfriend put wealth over me
It was only 5 days ago that she told me she is going for another as if her parents had made her marry a rich guy. Ok it is right every parent wants

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Tired of Being His Provider??
Okay so I found this site through Google. This seems like a pretty common topic and I suppose I just need to vent. My husband has been unemployed
Beautiful women who works at lush...
So there is this a girl who works at this place. I've been in there twice now and she is a stunner. Its one of those girls who you have to look twice
Being left for another man by my ex girlfriend
My and my ex gf broke up 7 months ago back in late April. We had bad fights and she stated she was unhappy. She then proceeded to have an active
Wondering?
Ok, I posted before about my situation but I would like to further talk. This woman I became involved with 3 years ago TOLD me she had feelings for
Break up Advice Needed
Hi all, I really need some advice on my recent break up with my girlfriend of almost five years. A few months ago I started to feel unhappy and
She's getting ready for marriage. She thinks that it is what I want. My fault.
So, I am pretty much in a difficult situation. I have been with a girl for the past 4 years. In these 4 years, after a while I realized she really
Venting - Advice...?
Hello, Im a 36 year old male, married with 3 kids. My wife and I are pretty much like roommates. There is zero sex life and its from both ends
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •