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Thread: Wish my ex Happy Birthday?

  1. #1
    on3break
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    Wish my ex Happy Birthday?

    My ex gf's birthday is on Tuesday and I am thinking about wishing her a Happy Birthday via text message. She broke up with me almost 6 months ago and currently has a bf but she always said she wanted to remain friends but I could be the reason why we haven't spoken since the breakup.

    My messsage would be nothing more than Happy Birthday but at the same time could mean a lot to her.

    Make the move???

  2. #2
    Dako
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    As long as it's only that.

  3. #3
    Stu147

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    Quote Originally Posted by on3break [Register to see the link]
    My ex gf's birthday is on Tuesday and I am thinking about wishing her a Happy Birthday via text message. She broke up with me almost 6 months ago and currently has a bf but she always said she wanted to remain friends but I could be the reason why we haven't spoken since the breakup.

    My messsage would be nothing more than Happy Birthday but at the same time could mean a lot to her.

    Make the move???
    No, don't send the text, leave things be. Six months have passed with no contact between you. She has a boyfriend. Let things lie.

  4. #4
    LilBear
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    If you can sincerely say you have no other intentions behind the greeting.
    Please not that she
    a) might not respond
    b) her response might be something you don't want to here.

    My advice to you is don't do it.

  5. #5
    blender
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    Do what will mean alot to YOU, not to her.. she has lost the honor of you in her life for now..she has a current boyfriend, so you can choose to respect it and her birthday pass, and let it go..

    However if you really are emotionally ready now to be her "friend' and you are okay with initiating contact and perhaps having her NOT respond, or she DOES respond and you being "a friend" will be happy with hearing all that is going on her life and about her new boyfriend, and you are happy for her, and you're not feeling emotionally vulnerable, if you truly believe you are emotionallly okay to deal with either outcome, and you will feel good in your own heart, then go ahead and send the birthday text but again, do so ONLY if it is what is sincere and honestly okay for YOUR heart.

    Depending on how it all ended, and if you have truly let go, then maybe it's more of a gift to yourself and to her to NOT send anything.

    NOT sending something, well It shows you have healed, and in time when you are sincerely emotionally ready to be a "friend" then you can always send her birthday wishes NEXT year... for now just do what is best for your own heart... because she is doing what she wants in her own life as well...

    By the way just out of curiosity, when is your birthday?

  6. #6
    on3break
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    mine is in early november ... she never even acknowledged my birthday but then again i believe its because i am the reason why we no longer speak

  7. #7
    on3break
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    any other thoughts? as it stand now i feel as if sending the text will bring closure for me even tho it could open dialogue between us

  8. #8
    blender
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    Quote Originally Posted by on3break [Register to see the link]
    any other thoughts? as it stand now i feel as if sending the text will bring closure for me even tho it could open dialogue between us
    The only way you can get "closure" is to let go, and take care of yourself, forgive yourself for whatever it is you feel guilty over, if you were unable to be "friends" with her after the break up THAT WAS A WISE thing to do, so don't think that you are not friends because of you, it's more because it's too difficult to pretend to be friends after you've had your heartbroken, so you did the right thing, and now it's time to stop worrying about what SHE is thinkinig or doing or feeling...

    this could be a very empowering choice to just "let go" and NOT send any birthday wishes, just think about the week AFTER her birthday and how good you'll feel that you didn't send anything, trust that if you still have these feelings of wanting to be friends, then NEXT years birthday you can send her something,... try not to do so this year, after all she did not choose to acknowledge yours, regardless of you making an excuse for her because "it might be your fault you are no longer friends".. because the fact is you are no longer friends because she is dating someone else, and you had to deal with the heartache of a break up..

    Just do what is sincere and honest for you... don't do it because you hope to provoke some reaction in her, do it ONLY if it would make YOU feel sincere, honest and self respecting.. and if it won't cause your heart any more pain..

    Remember there is always next year, you'll be older, wiser, and who knows she may be single by then.. so why not wait till next year..

    Can you answer a few questions very honestly so that maybe we can help you decide?

    What is it that you honestly hope to happen by sending her a birthday text?
    Do you have an emotional expectation?
    Are you ready to sincerely be just a "buddy" to her?
    How will you feel after sending it, if there is no response?
    How would you feel if you didn't send anything and just kept busy with your own life?
    Last edited by blender; 01-27-2008 at 04:20 PM.

  9. #9
    billy v
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    Ive thought about wishing my ex of almost 4 months now Happy Birthday. Her bday is in June. NC since February and she started going out with one of my friends a couple days after we broke up....sucks eh? It hurt really bad when it happened but Im starting to pick up the first pieces. Its almost like I wanna wish her a Happy Bday just to show her im strong and i'll get by. Even through all the heart break that has happened, I still love her to death. I dont know why, I just do.

  10. #10
    traeh
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    Don't do it. You're only going to re-open the wound. Only 6 months have passed (which is really not much time) and you KNOW deep down that you want something in return. If she has a bf, that's even more of a reason why you should keep your distance.

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