Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: Best friend got married without telling me... feel hurt

  1. #1
    yuki
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    120
    Gender
    Female

    Best friend got married without telling me... feel hurt

    My best friend got married and I didn't know about it. We've been close friends for 20 years. Apparently she got married in a civil ceremony, so I assume that no friends were invited. I am happy for her but can't help feeling hurt by the fact that she didn't tell me when she decided to get married. I only found out because I sent her an e-mail to ask her how she's doing and she replied and said she got married.

    I honestly feel betrayed. Am I overreacting?

  2. #2
    Tethys
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Golden State
    Posts
    2,177
    If you're as close as you say, NO, you are not overreacting! Perhaps something else is at play here, though. Have you asked her why she didn't tell you?

  3. #3
    Papillion
    Gold Member Papillion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    London, UK
    Age
    48
    Posts
    884
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by yuki [Register to see the link]
    My best friend got married and I didn't know about it. We've been close friends for 20 years. Apparently she got married in a civil ceremony, so I assume that no friends were invited. I am happy for her but can't help feeling hurt by the fact that she didn't tell me when she decided to get married. I only found out because I sent her an e-mail to ask her how she's doing and she replied and said she got married.

    I honestly feel betrayed. Am I overreacting?
    honey, one of my best friends had a daughter and the first i knew was when the baby was 2 weeks old!

  4. #4
    Meow18
    Gold Member Meow18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    IL
    Age
    32
    Posts
    2,780
    Gender
    Female
    I would be hurt as well.

    However, you say the only way you found out was by emailing her asking her how was doing. I get the impression that you don't talk that much if you are emailing her about how she is doing..

    I would say really close best friends know because they see/talk everyday. So I guess I'm just wondering how often you talk?

  5. #5
    Dako
    Platinum Member Dako's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SoCal
    Age
    64
    Posts
    9,175
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    Try to be happy for them.
    I'd assume they had their reasons to have a private marriage without fanfare.
    Perhaps they wanted to do it on the spur of the moment and not call everyone they knew to explain it all. Marriage is ultimately between two people.

    I pretty much did the same thing, and a week later a co-worker asked me why I was wearing a ring.

  6. #6
    shikashika
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Age
    40
    Posts
    5,651
    Gender
    Female
    I think you are definitely overreacting!

    Honestly, to me it sounds like the perfect wedding, without all the drama, bridezilla fanfare.

    People should be able to get married however they want.

    I can see exactly why people dont' have weddings, because there are so many friends and family out there who think they need to be a part of it and get involved.

  7. #7
    Mythical_Suicide
    Mythical_Suicide's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    6,131
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by shikashika [Register to see the link]
    I think you are definitely overreacting!

    Honestly, to me it sounds like the perfect wedding, without all the drama, bridezilla fanfare.

    People should be able to get married however they want.

    I can see exactly why people dont' have weddings, because there are so many friends and family out there who think they need to be a part of it and get involved.

    I think I would have to agree with what was said here..

    When I get married, the only people (if anyone besides me ,the guy i'm marrying and my son) that will be involved will be the immediate family (my father , their parents and maybe (Thats a BIG Maybe) the siblings..)
    Too much drama and complications come along with big weddings where everyone is involved because EVERYONE has to have a say

  8. #8
    BeStrongBeHappy
    Platinum Member BeStrongBeHappy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    7,341
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    7
    If they just ran off and did it... well, some people do that!

    I doubt it had anything to do with you... had more to say about her 'spontaneous' nature, or maybe they didn't want anyone else there, or to give them the time to object first so they just did it!

  9. #9
    yuki
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    120
    Gender
    Female
    Thanks, all. I needed some different perspectives.

    I'm on assignment overseas but we've still been calling and e-mailing to keep up with each other's lives as we always have, although in the last few months both of us have been busy and haven't talked, which is why I e-mailed her to see how she was doing.

    One thing that baffles me is when our mutual friend got married a few years ago without telling any friend, we talked about it and said that if either of us got married, we would at least let each other know.

    I am a big proponent of a private ceremony and have no problem with not being invited to her wedding. I just wish she had contacted me after her wedding and told me she got married. A simple e-mail would have been good enough, but she didn't bother.

    There are some friends of mine who wouldn't surprise me at all if they got married and had kids and didn't tell friends because that's just the way they are. She wasn't one of them. Have you ever felt you've known someone for so long and one day you feel like you don't know them at all? That's how I feel now.

  10. #10
    flower99
    Platinum Member flower99's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,927
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by BeStrongBeHappy [Register to see the link]
    If they just ran off and did it... well, some people do that!

    I doubt it had anything to do with you... had more to say about her 'spontaneous' nature, or maybe they didn't want anyone else there, or to give them the time to object first so they just did it!
    I completely agree!!

    Don't feel hurt.
    This is how i got married, I planned it in 2 days & didn't tell any friends (I felt like if I told one I'd have to tell them all, and I didn't want to go through that at that the time) Only my immediate family.
    A couple days after the wedding when I told my friends...they were all wonderful & supportive, I felt lucky to have such great friends. Except one - She told me how hurt & insulted she was that i hadn't told her..ect......Honestly I wasn't happy with her when she told me that. I'm sorry she was hurt, but it wasn't about her. It was my wedding. If there is ever a time to just let a person do things how they want there wedding is it!
    Just be happy for her, don't be hurt. she loves you, just a wedding to her wasn't about friends, it was just about her husband. Just Support her. You not knowing about the wedding I'm sure had nothing to do with you.

    Was she engaged for a while? or was the man a surprise too?
    Last edited by flower99; 01-22-2008 at 02:43 PM.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
I need serious advice
It's so strange. I wanted and still do new friends badly, now I am living with three other girls my age who are all nice and nothing is developing
Asked for forgiveness and...
Hi Everyone, I'm new to this site and wanted to share my story with you and get some advice and maybe hear some of your own personal stories. I am an
Dinner Party Problem
So my husband and I decided to have a dinner party with 4 of our friends. This was supposed to be a couples dinner party as we'd planned the games
Post break up friendship question
Hi everyone, I have a question about the way I am feeling and am wondering if I am being disrespectful and selfish or if it is acceptable for me to
Tired of keeping everyone at a distance
I don't have any close friends. I have some acquaintances and people I talk to at work, but no one I hang out with, or text or call on a regular
Hypocrisy a Hypercriticism
Okay, so I am attempting to tell a story that has taken place over the past year very quickly, so I'll keep this quick. Last year, I went to a

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •