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Atticus90

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How does child support come into play?

Does the government attomatically enforce it when the child is born? or is it a optional decision?

 

my girlfriend and I aren't fighting or anything. we're good infact, but my dad is worried that her parents are gonna try to enforce it on us.. is that possible? can it be done by her parents or does it have to be done by my gf?

 

i've seen to many of my family members get ruined over child support and i hope i dont have to do that.

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Atticus you said that you are not sure its yours because she slept with other people during the time when the baby was conceived.

 

Have a paternity test done, only because you have doubts. Or just accept the baby as yours regardless. Then sue for visitation and have child support worked out. Then pay the child support and be an active father in the childs life until the day you die. Be a father.

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I agree with southerngirl, have a paternity test done FIRST and then go about child support.. Here in NC, because you two are not married and she is on medicaid they will go after child support but she will have to sign papers agreeing to.

 

But take it from experience, it is alot easier going through the child support agency they will take what is fair based off of both the incomes of you two. My sons father and I were getting along great when he started giving me child support but then things started slacking off and after awhile I wasn't seeing anything. So it's best that you man up now and allow child support to be taken out of your checks.. If the child is yours.

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Your GF asks the court to set the amount, and you pay it until the child is 18. The amount is based on your income.

If you aren't the biofather, but accept paternatity and pay child support anyway, you are legally considered the biofather forever.

A DNA test might anger your GF, but I'd risk it.

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Isn't this the OP who, on another thread said he is ready and willing to support the baby, and he has the means to do it (even though he is a teenager living at home with his parents). Now he's saying that he could be ruined by having to support his child.

 

What a difference a week can make.

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Isn't this the OP who, on another thread said he is ready and willing to support the baby, and he has the means to do it (even though he is a teenager living at home with his parents). Now he's saying that he could be ruined by having to support his child.

 

What a difference a week can make.

 

Yes, Atticus has gone back and forth on this since he heard the news. No doubt being 17 and not ready for parenthood has a lot to do with it.

 

I agree with the others as well who said get a paternity test and risk angering your g/f. She'll get over it. If you know she slept with even one other person do it.

 

If it is your child atticus you are responsible for that child no matter what - and as Dako said even if it isn't yours but you accept paternity you are responsible just as a biological father would be so make sure you are SURE you want to do that for the next 18 years before doing it.....no matter how great you and she are getting along when the little one is born...especially the way you have oscillated between acceptance and non acceptance of this whole issue.

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If I were you, I would take the first step by helping out financially. She is your girlfriend either way. Start by taking her shopping for a crib, car seat, etc. Don't spend more than you can afford but send the message that you plan to take care of your responsibilities.

 

Also, go sit down with her parents and tell them that you love their daughter and are ready to do whatever it takes to provide for her and your child. If it is your child and your relationship with your gf doesn't work out, you'll still want a good relationship with the grandparents of your child. So don't limit your communication with them to whatever is sent back and forth through your gf. Start building a direct, adult relationship with them.

 

I agree with the others that you need to get a paternity test as soon as possible after baby is born. If it turns out not to be yours, at least you, her, your family and her family will know that you're responsible and were ready to provide for the child. If that costs you a couple hundred bucks in the meantime, so what?

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If I were you, I would take the first step by helping out financially. Don't spend more than you can afford but send the message that you plan to take care of your responsibilities.

 

If you read his back posts, you will see that he can't afford much.

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Don't listen to the other posts. If it's not your baby, you have no obligation to take care of it in any way, and there is no reason to waste money on a baby that isn't yours.

 

If it is your baby however, then yes it is your responsibility, but it is your choice whether or not to take care of it. If you choose to, then I would work things out with your girlfriend.

I divorced when my children were much older, infact one was in her last year of high school. My wife and I both had good paying jobs, so no alimony and child support was needed, although my wife did challenge for alimony. I'm assuming since your 17 that you're still in school. If that's the case and you make minimum wage and are a student also, then I think you can get wellfare for child support. If it's your baby.

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First off, very few of the previous posts - actually only one - says he should financially take care of this baby if it isn't his. i don't think you even read the responses.

 

Secondly, if it is his child, no it is NOT HIS CHOICE whether he takes care of it or not. The courts will make sure that he does not have the choice not to.

 

Third, no, he can't get welfare for child support. The mother can, Atticus cannot. The courts will view him as an able bodied male. HE WILL HAVE TO WORK.

 

Fourth, the only reason you may not have paid child support for the older children who were still under 18 is because your ex didn't take you to court. If she had of, you WOULD be paying.

 

Your post is giving this guy a lot of misinformation.

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If you read his back posts, you will see that he can't afford much.

 

I've been following his posts from the beginning. I understand that he is young and doesn't make alot of money. I'm just thinking about what happens if he is the father. If he's been stressing out his girlfriend and her family by accusing her of sleeping around, refusing to contribute financially, and starting unecessary fights, then he's going to be in for a rough road ahead. Better to start off on the right foot. Give his girlfriend peace of mind by showing that he wants to help take care of the baby. If it turns out that the baby isn't his, then he can decide what to do. If he wants to, he can walk away, go to college, get on with his life... and consider it a good life lesson. So what if he's spent a bit of money on a baby that didn't end up being his? It won't exactly ruin his life. I'm not saying he should be handing his paychecks over to them. I'm just saying - take her shopping for baby clothes or something. Spend a couple hundred bucks on whatever she thinks she needs most. Then if the baby is his, hopefully they can proceed by cooperating and working together in a friendly manner toward raising the kid, instead of having grudges and going through courts.

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Give his girlfriend peace of mind by showing that he wants to help take care of the baby. If it turns out that the baby isn't his, then he can decide what to do. If he wants to, he can walk away, go to college, get on with his life... and consider it a good life lesson. So what if he's spent a bit of money on a baby that didn't end up being his? It won't exactly ruin his life. I'm not saying he should be handing his paychecks over to them.

 

I definitely agree this should be his approach right now and not be accusatory and difficult, lest they make it even harder on him, but this is why i think he must get a paternity test because it will end up costing him a fortune if he supports the child from now on and it isn't his and at this point he will be handing over paychecks.

 

I don't think he should accuse her of fooling around but if he really believes she has i hope he does get a paternity test as this girl sounds as immature as he does (no offense atticus - but most people are still immature at 17, this isn't a personal attack).

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If that's the case and you make minimum wage and are a student also, then I think you can get wellfare for child support. If it's your baby.

 

 

You cannot get welfare for Child support, it is two different things. The mother can get help through the state/welfare but thats as far as it goes, if she goes after child support they will make him pay. They don't care if he's 17 or 70. Here in NC that is one thing they don't play around with. Why should they help out and feel sorry for someone just because they're underage and can only make minimum wage, they got themselves in the situation they need to take care of it and do the best they can.

 

 

I say all of this so harshly because I was once in his gf's shoes, having my son at 17 I know it isn't easy but it's so crappy for the father to crap out just because he's "young" or can't afford it. Play with fire = Get burned!

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I agree (especially with 17 year olds being immature, there is so much to learn about life) Most of his earlier posts he claims about how much she has fooled around and the baby may not be his but never said he had any proof, So I think he should do what he has to do as far as support (Emotionally) until he finds out otherwise that the kid is not his by paternity test. The girl may be pissed off at first when he suggests a paternity test but if she hasn't fooled around and has nothing to hide she will do it with no problem.

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I can agree with your "eye for an eye" philosophy on this, but you honestly can't expect much of a 17 year old father. It's not like he can carry his girlfriend and this baby on his back.

 

If he is the father, then he is going to have to learn how to do exactly that.

 

This is the price he pays for being irresponsible about birth control.

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If he is the father, then he is going to have to learn how to do exactly that.

 

This is the price he pays for being irresponsible about birth control.

 

My point exactly.. He wanted to be stupid and play without birth control and take this chance then no matter how young or old he is he has to step up and support this child if it's his. He was old enough to play he's old enough to take care of his responsibilities.

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I've seen guys go from believing a child is punishment for folly to another outlook, that being a chance to be a father to a child.

Sometimes it's a chance to grow.

 

Admittedly, I'm childless, but I can't see a child as a unit of cosmic punishment.

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