Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: The Narcissist Dating M.O. post-breakup

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007

    The Narcissist Dating M.O. post-breakup

    I'm writing this only because I'm so appalled at my soon-to-be-ex's behavior that I needed some forum to talk about how horrified I am.

    I should have expected no less, but my not-quite ex-husband has initiated a new relationship and is demonstrating the IDENTICAL behaviors that he did with me. I realize that what he is doing is sick, and that this is not a case of wanting him back or any sort of sour grapes....but it's demoralizing, and I feel like I am so replaceable....and irrelevant to our marriage.

    He sucked some poor woman from Match into his awful game.....and is now in the process of replacing me with her (it's been less than four weeks since I left)---the part that rankles me is that he is telling her the same things he told me...."You are so unique and warm and special" ...."Everything between us is effortless and I can't believe how lucky I am to have you walk into my life" ...and then the kicker was....He sent her the poem that he wrote for me on our wedding day...verbatim. My stepdaughters are horribly confused and upset.....he insisted that they meet her today, on Christmas day...and included her in their dinner plans. My older stepdaughter called me crying and upset and at a loss as to how she's supposed to feel about this.

    I know he's a narcissist and needs to have his supply in his daily diet, and i know how lucky I am to be free of this sick cycle....but it still hurts to see that I meant nothing to him. He still sends me emails telling me that he's 'broken-hearted" and will "never recover" from losing me, and that he has NO IDEA what broke us up....

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    what DID break you up?

  3. #3
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    I feel for you and it's a good thing that you are done with him. It sounds like he will continue to repeat the same cycle and she will eventually realize this. I know it's hard that you seem irreplaceable and that is awful, especially during a break-up. but people do weird things when tehy are hurting. many people jumpt right into dating after a breakup/divorce because they are afraid to be alone or need a rebound or the fact that he needs someone to fill the emptiness right now. or, he could be doing this to hurt you? b/c he knows that you will find out through your stepdaughters? who knows why he's doing what he does, but if he really is a narcissist, he won't understand that his behavior is destructive and he's operating on his need for attention and admiration from another...yes endless supply of attention. I'm so sorry you are going through this and that your stepdaughters are upset and confused too.

  4. #4
    Member Pinkbunny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    wow. this seems really tough. Feeling so replacable is an awful feeling but the truth you are not replacable. There's nobody in the world like you. You are unique and special. I'm glad you got away from him and I'm not sure how you could explain his behavior to your step daughters. Try to not take his new relationship personal. He's a narcissist and is not capable of loving anyone but himself.

Top Threads
Divorce documents - signed and delivered
The courthouse has the documents, we have both signed. Next step I believe judge okays the agreement. Emotionally I'm exhausted, anxiety
Husband wants to get back together I've moved on
So okay to make a long story short I've been married for 2 years, but I've been separated for a year and we only lived together for like 7 months of
Getting the ball rolling
I've started the online petition for divorce (or "dissolution of marriage" as they call it). We'll have to get the house on the market. It will need

online counseling
Featured Threads
Need feedback, criticism from the men here *long*
I want to vent cuz this is bugging the hell out of me me even though I should be happy to move on. I want the perspective of men here because I feel
Should I be concernd about my ex's guy being around my son?
I was married to the girl of my dreams for 16 years until she met a guy in a cooking chatroom. The question I have is can I trust this guy with our
Struggling to figure out if she likes me or not?
I really fancy her and I still struggle with all the attraction sign things. I chose to sit at the table that I knew she'd be, because her friend
So having dinner with my ex tonight.
Recap: We dated nearly two years. I dumped him by email -- which was crappy of me, but I don't do conflict well. He was never able to say he loved
2 dates but now a new girl on the scene.
Been a while since I posted here, had a break from dating really, off all OLD and just thought I'd let fate do its thing. about a month ago I got
What are the chances that she could have gotten pregnant?
I met up with an ex from 5 years ago and in the heat of the moment we had unprotected sex. Now here are the facts: - She is 27, I'm 29. - She
Marrying someone with different level of religion understanding
Say, you're an orthodox religious man and your potential spouse has the same religion as you but with much lower level of practice and knowledge

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts