New Year's Resolutions

Well, if this isn't the time of the year to make some resolutions... I'm not sure when the right time is. And if this isn't the group of people that truly needs to make some positive steps forward (i.e. resolutions), I'm not sure what groups needs it. Here are some motivational ideas for all of us. I want everyone to pick at least three (3) of the following ideas and commit to them. You can start on January 1, or you can start now. Why procrastinate? Haven't we been doing that enough?

1) Keep talking about how we feel (that's why we're all here):

* Post on eNA.

* Talk to your friends.

* Talk to your family.

* Talk to a therapist, counselor, or even someone from your church.

2) Be social:

* Try a new book club, sports team, or wine tasting group.

* Make lunch/coffee dates with friends.

* Visit your family.

* Ask someone at work to have lunch one day.

* Invite a friend over just to watch TV or a movie.

3) Avoid the ex:

* Initiate NC, if it's possible (i.e. no children, money issues, etc.).

* Don't e-mail, text, talk to his/her friends, or go where they may be.

* Don't check their blog, MySpace, Facebook, or e-mails (some people have passwords).

* Focus on your own life and you will avoid the ex in your own mind.

4) Exercise & eat right:

* Go to a gym 3 times a week, or more.

* Try running a few days a week.

* Walk around the neighborhood each morning or evening.

* Attempt to train for something you didn't think you could do (a 10K?).

* Avoid foods that will bring you down -- i.e. fast food, fatty foods, etc.

* Eat vegetables, complex carbs, and lean proteins.

* Eat at least 3 meals a day; it's important!

5) Improve yourself:

* Read a self-help book (co-dependency? self-esteem?).

* See a therapist, if you can afford it and are open to learning.

* Ask your friends what qualities you could improve, and be ready for the truth.

* Pick up a new hobby (hunting, surfing, knitting, scrapbooking, investing, etc.)

* Treat yourself to something special, like a vacation or massage.

* Help someone else you know get through a tough time of their own.

6) Keep an open mind:

* Realize that we are NOT victims.

* We have been hurt, but we are in control of how we deal with it going forward.

* We can still care about our ex as a person, but we are better off concentrating on US right now.

* We deserve a relationship where the other person doesn't want to walk away when things get tough.

* The world is LARGE. Before you came here, I'll bet you felt like you were the only one. It's OK, you are not alone.

Who is in?!

I'll take each of them except 1 and 3. I already talk too darn much. And I don't have any exes I need to avoid.

In fact, if you insist, I could get a start on 5 right away. Now where's the number to my massage therapist?

No new year's resolutions this year.

I never have.

Great idea! I'm in! Although I'm going to start Jan 1 cuz I'd be lying if I said I can keep it now over the holidays.

I'll do all of them except 1 and 3 since I'm sick of talking/thinking about things (it'll be five months) and I can't avoid the ex since we're in the same office. I'm going to add one for myself - Let go of the anger and forgive him, but if not, at least forgive myself.

Thanks!

I love it -- who else?!

OK, let see! I'm already doing most of 1, 3, 5 and 6 (although I definitely want to improve on 5 and 6!!). I need to try harder on 2. When it comes to 4... well, I think that's going to have to be my main new year's resolution, I'm fooling myself that grief-stricken starvation and rapid weightloss are good for me, I really have to start putting a bit of effort in

I also need to start working on my procrastination... but I guess it won't hurt to leave that until January...

I have moved away from the idea of self-help, new year resolutions etc. Instead I am focusing on making small goals and achieving them. And then make another one and achieve it... And so on. For me this is more realistic and practical. The key thing here is I am not setting a new goal without achieving the previous one.

I have moved away from the idea of self-help, new year resolutions etc. Instead I am focusing on making small goals and achieving them. And then make another one and achieve it... And so on. For me this is more realistic and practical. The key thing here is I am not setting a new goal without achieving the previous one.

Great idea. There is nothing wrong with not overloading yourself. Most of us feel like we can't even get one thing done, so doing one at a time is awesome.

1. Continue to run regularly

2. To gain 10 pounds/eat more

3. To continue supporting a friend in need, no matter how difficult it gets

4. To keep doing well in school

When it comes to 4... well, I think that's going to have to be my main new year's resolution, I'm fooling myself that grief-stricken starvation and rapid weightloss are good for me, I really have to start putting a bit of effort in

 

4 is the only resolution I can not make at this time, lol. This is still too fresh for me and I have 15lbs to lose so I'm staying with the starvation for at least a few more weeks. It helps that when I attempt to eat anything it tastes like dust and I get nauseous. I'm focusing on the one huge positive here - weight loss by whatever means possible. I'm going to look into going to the gym, but really can't afford it now that I've lost half my income.

i do new year's resolutions, but only fun ones, because i know then that i'll stick with them!!! one year, my resolution was to learn a lot about wine, so i took a lot of wine tasting classes that year.

My new years resolution is to not have a New years resolution. Im pretty sure I can stick to that. lol

Love the post!

Here are a few of my plans for this year:

Run the Shamrock 8K (my first)

Continue to lose these last few pounds!

Make a budget to follow to save for the Europe trip

Kayak to my heart's content

Try surfing, why not?

I try not to make resolutions, but I feel like I usually make small ones for myself everyday so why not try again to keep up with something? I just want to have a successful next semester - I'm student teaching and I'm pretty nervous about that but I want to do the best I can and come up with ways to really engage my students. There is only so much room in the curriculum to really connect with them as far as material goes, but I think I can do it!

And I just want to keep getting better, to keep up with what I'm doing to heal myself. It's all about me, it really is and that's always so important to remember.

I'm already doing 1 (talk about how you feel). As needed, I talk to my mother, sister, and best friend.

I'm already doing 2 (be social); in fact, my New Year's resolution may be to be less social (I'm freakin' exhausted right now).

Number 3 is a great idea. The last time I contacted The Ex, it blew up into something very unpleasant.

While I already do 4 (exercise and eat right), because I've been so busy lately, I'm sure I can do better.

I already make 5 a habit (improve yourself), but like 4, I'm sure I can do better.

Number 6:

6) Keep an open mind:

* Realize that we are NOT victims.

* We have been hurt, but we are in control of how we deal with it going forward.

* We can still care about our ex as a person, but we are better off concentrating on US right now.

* We deserve a relationship where the other person doesn't want to walk away when things get tough.

* The world is LARGE. Before you came here, I'll bet you felt like you were the only one. It's OK, you are not alone.

CHECK and CHECK.

So, I guess my resolutions would be:

1) To make time to exercise consistently, instead of when I've got the time;

2) To continue my existing hobbies (dance/ ballet/ jazz classes; spanish classes; my knitting circle; hiking),

while getting more serious about some activities (taking wine tastings seriously instead of using them as social events; asking for help from the climbing monitors when I go rock climbing, instead of just playing around on the wall; dedicating time to meditation instead of doing it when I'm in the right frame of mind only; going camping regularly; having friends over for dinner to encourage my interest in cooking)

and starting some new activities (learn to downhill ski; visiting places I've never seen before; learning a new instrument maybe).

(1) will be easy, if I put my mind to the task.

I'll have to think more about (2) specifically. I've got a lot of great ideas, but being a bit of a dreamer, I have a hard time turning them into reality! I also have a habit of taking on too much, which doesn't leave me with enough hours in the day to do everything I've committed myself to doing.

YS

I'm in! I already try to do everything but #4 on an ongoing basis...I like candy too much (licorice, cherry blasters, sour gummy worms etc.). Have lost weight since the break-up, so there's always a silver lining. My big resolution for the year is to get more organized, purge alot of stuff and generally simplify my life in any way I can.

I'm in. I will work up my list tomorrow!